Are little ones invited?

HorseLover11

Do moms with little ones automatically assume their children are invited to a baby shower? My host is concerned and I'm not sure what to say or know what the norm is TIA!

VOR

I've personally never been to a shower where people brought their kids.  However, I know that is some circles/regions, people do bring their kids.

So.... there is no straight answer. 

Have you been to many showers?  What normally happens?

Helenahhandbasket

No, although I did go to a shower last summer sans DD (her name was not on the envelope) and another guest did show up with her similarly aged LO. 

I assume her LO wasn't on the envelope either, but she decided to being him anyway.

Showers are boring enough for adults, IMO.  They must be torture for bebehs.

 

HorseLover11

I would never assume to bring kids either, but not everyone sees it that way. I totally get moms with babies in arms, but toddlers is a bit much.

sschwege

I have seen children at showers before, though I would say most people leave them at home.  

I think the only acceptable exception would be a newborn who is BFing.  Not everyone agrees with this, but that's how I feel.  

A&DPritchett2be

My mom is inviting some kids to my shower because the children are very excited for my baby. The children are 10-12 years old so they can't wait to hold the baby.

VOR

MrsLee04 said:

Personally, I wouldn't bring mine even if they were invited.  I appreciate an adults only event once in awhile. 

So much this!  There have been a couple events where I've been told "Oh- you can bring DS!", and I still opted to get a sitter.  When it's going to be just me going - I know if DS goes too, I'll be spending most of my time w/ him vs being able to talk to friends. 

As he gets older, it's less of an issue.  But when he was a toddler?  Oh hell no!

lizztheo

I brought my son to a close friends shower but he was under 1 and I knew he wouldn't cause a scene (I double checked with host beforehand as well). My MIL invited a random old friend (I had never met her and MIL had not seen her in several years; why she invited her is beyond me) to my shower and she brought her two granddaughters and it was a little weird (did not rsvp and did not ask if it was alright). I think it definitely depends on how close you are to the MTB and what type of shower (the one I brought my son too was outside in a backyard; I would not bring him if it was at a venue).

Nicolewinsbingo

The correct etiquette is that whoever is listed on the envelope is invited.  However, some people don't know that/do whatever they want anyways.  So its definitely possible that you could have people showing up with kids even if they aren't listed on the envelope.

jf198400

I generally have not seen many kids at showers but it all depends on the level of formality, location, social circle. I'd probably take my kids to a small family shower in someone's home, versus a formal shower at a restaurant.
I am not sure whether my DD (who's almost 4) will be invited to SILs bridal shower this summer. I will ask MIL if they want her to come. Even though it's at MILs house, dd may be happier staying home with DH and DS.

MMason12

HorseLover11 said:

I would never assume to bring kids either, but not everyone sees it that way. I totally get moms with babies in arms, but toddlers is a bit much.

This! I wouldn't mind and would take my newborn but not a toddler. It's not a kid-friendly event and you can't tell me they can't find someone else to be with the kid(s) for 2-3 hours while they go to a shower. 

Ceridwen21

Baby in arms, yes.  Toddler +, no.

orangecrush32

Every shower I have been to has had children at it. It's just how my family/friends are though. We don't get together very often and when we do people are upset if you didn't bring your kids.

Kids names are on the invitations though so it is clear who is invited.

strmbreez

I also believe the correct etiquette is to only bring whomever is listed explicitly on the invite. Although my mom didn't invite people to bring their children, I'm expecting a few will show up as with any event where family gathers. I've just been telling people when asked that I don't think there is really going to be anything for the kids to do. And then I tell them to ask my mom because I'm not throwing the shower, she is.

PrimRoseMama

Whoever is on the envelope. No baby, no bring. Pump & spend a couple hours with adults. :-bd

AmberG34

I was wondering, if people would bring their kids as well! I've been to some were the kids are crying for cake or presents and it just would have been better if they were left at home with family.

I personally don't want any kids at my baby shower, besides the ones I invite like my little cousins because I know they are well-behaved. Plus they know my sit down and chill out stare(: lol

AMcLaws

In our particular social circles, it's the norm to bring kids to showers. We just went to my cousins shower yesterday, and my almost 3 year old came with me. My nieces and 6 month old nephew were there. Several of the MTB's friends brought their kids.

Although I would agree that ordinarily, they would only attend if listed on the invite

mommy5point0

My BFF hosted a shower for me at a restaurant. It was pretty upscale and no kids were invited. SIL is naturally adversary (read: a twatwaffle) and brought her bratty 2yo DD, assuming because she was the only girl, and got a sitter for her boys. She was particularly offended when one of My other friends said "WOW, you brought a kid?....."

Unless it's at someone's house AND the child was invited, I would never assume it was okay to bring them.

Ladymouse

In my circles, kids are always invited.  There's always a room set aside for kids to play in.  Of course, I'm pretty much the last in my social circles to have kids and 80% of invites are for kids' parties. If it's important/you are unsure of your circles' etiquette, put it on the invite (Babies in arms, adult only, kids welcome - whatever.)  I ask if my son is welcome.

rae76

In my area, you will always see some children at a baby shower.  Now whether they are specifically invited or not that I don't know, but generally it is always the younger ones, birth - 2 years old. 

EDA - I personally don't bring my 4 year old with me because I like the time to socialize.  He and daddy can do something fun at home while I relax and have a piece of cake.

plutoisaplanet

In my circles, kids are nearly always invited.  I went to a shower a few weeks ago and brought DS and he played with a few other kids.  That being said, I ALWAYS ask before hand.  I would never just show up.  

526SadieSadie

If we're talking a baby who might be breastfeeding, yes.  If we're talking toddlers who are going to be running around the whole time bored to pieces, no.  Especially in a restaurant.