Do you have a preference for baby's sex?

designchica

I was thinking I wanted a girl and even thought from the very beginning that it was a girl, had only picked a girl's name and not a boy's name. But then after my first ultrasound and midwife appointment, something shifted for me and I can honestly say that I truly do not have a preference any more. I don't have a hunch one way or the other if it is a boy or a girl and I am totally open to and excited about either possibility. 

I am not sure what caused this shift in me, maybe I was just so happy that the baby had a heartbeat that I realized I just want the baby to be healthy and I don't care if its a boy or a girl.  Who knows. 

I'm curious if any of you have a strong preference for one over the other? If so, do you think that is affecting your gut feeling that it is a boy or a girl?

WashingtonQueen

Uh oh.

KyMommy86

With my daughter I had no clue what she was. No gut feeling. Nothing.
With my son I was SURE he was a boy. It may sound silly but he felt different from my daughter.
For #3 we are kind of crossing our fingers for another girl. But happy and healthy is all we REALLY care about.

DrBatlyMD

I've already got one of each, so I truthfully have no preference whatsoever

Manateearmz

Healthy. ::side eye::

abbyful

Don't care at all, I just want a healthy baby.

fallfever

I have 3 little boys. This baby is our last. I've had 2 miscarriages since October. I'm just praying for a healthy baby. I love my boys. If we get one more we will be thrilled. If we get a baby girl, we will be thrilled:) I think everyone assumes we are just trying for a girl which sort of offends me.

WashingtonQueen

WhoCanItBeNow said:

Manateearmz said:

Healthy. ::side eye::

There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

It's an issue when it becomes your life's purpose and you hate your child from having the wrong genitals and keep popping out baby after baby until you get what you want.

I'm still waiting for this type of poster to come along. Hence my "uh oh."

Manateearmz

WhoCanItBeNow said:

Manateearmz said:

Healthy. ::side eye::

There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

It's an issue when it becomes your life's purpose and you hate your child from having the wrong genitals and keep popping out baby after baby until you get what you want.


End quote
You're right. My side eye was more a cautionary one waiting for the post to go sideways.

I'll also admit that I'm getting annoyed at people asking me what I want and telling me that I could have the "perfect" family with a boy and a girl. Or better yet telling me what they hope I'm having.

It was more of a personal annoyance because I will love both.

Meether

We have a girl and would like another girl. However, we will still be excited if it's a boy.

designchica

Thanks everyone for sharing your replies.  It seems like for the most part, we all just want a healthy baby.

Its strange, but I can no longer even identify with why I wanted to have a girl so badly.  I am such a state of , "I don't care either way, I'm super excited no matter what!" that I simply cannot understand why it would have been important for me to have a girl.   I think it may have been something really stupid, like a pair of girl baby house slippers I saw at Target that I wanted to buy!  It really seems silly to me now that I wanted a girl so badly. 

WashingtonQueen

MissChristineMarie said:

Team healthy baby here. I would love both for different reasons -- little girls are fun to dress/hoping they will love princesses as much as me and boys are easier as a teenagers/I would love a mama's boy!

Bwahahahaha!!!! No.

PrimRoseMama

I did have a preference at first. Then I lost two pregnancies in a row & stopped caring. At that point I just wanted a living child. **disclaimer: that is not meant to be Pain-Olymic-ish. Simply the truth from where I was at the time.**

My preference was to have a girl first & through sheer luck I got my wish. I wanted a boy next & again, the coin toss landed in my favor.

I can say I would have loved and do love any baby of either sex in any order. I want one more baby & either sex will do.

MNgirl326

I have always wanted a boy and a girl. 

I would love for the next one to be a girl.

But I am okay with two boys as well.  I have a few friends that have two boys and it doesn't overwhelm me as much as it used to.  I could get on board with a "brothers" household if needed

adoringangeldmb

As long as the baby is healthy. My sister really wants it to be a girl for me because she had three boys. I honestly don't mind either way just excited to start adding to my family.

Suparstarz714

I agree with as long as its healthy I am happy... but I also REALLY want a girl.  I feel like I am drowning in testosterone in this house.  I am SO ready for everything to be pretty in pink and girly :-)

AllTheTeaInChina

I'm hoping for a boy. We have a DD and I would like to experience parenting both. I won't be disappointed if we have another girl.

Ardmhs83

WhoCanItBeNow said:

Manateearmz said:

Healthy. ::side eye::

There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

It's an issue when it becomes your life's purpose and you hate your child from having the wrong genitals and keep popping out baby after baby until you get what you want.

Agree! First and foremost, I pray to have another healthy baby.  I do have a wonderful little boy and my DH and I would love one of each, but if the second one is a boy, we are done.  I only want two children, no matter what the sex of them are.   

AlanaB2010

EVERYONE just wants a happy and healthy baby.  No one is going to say "one sickly girl, please".  Seriously, people.  That said, feelings are what they are - I think I'd prefer a girl b/c of the close relationship I have with my mum.  That said, I've seen many friends with their little boys, and their boys adore their mums and they have such a sweet relationship.

WashingtonQueen

AlanaB2010 said:

EVERYONE just wants a happy and healthy baby.  No one is going to say "one sickly girl, please".  Seriously, people.

@AlanaB2010‌ , you clearly have not been around here for very long. Nice try though.

AlanaB2010

@WashingtonQueen - a girl can dream, right?  Wouldn't be terrible to cut this thread by 75% by eliminating the high horse healthy baby posts.  Someday I will wise up, I expect.

WashingtonQueen

AlanaB2010 said:

Wouldn't be terrible to cut this thread by 75% by eliminating the high horse healthy baby posts.

Excuse you?

Manateearmz

::steps off high horse::

Somebody hold my earrings.

AlanaB2010

Oh come on, now.  My point is this:  everyone wants a healthy baby.  Generally people on these boards have had a tough time conceiving, are very enthusiastic about finally being fortunate enough to conceive, etc.  It goes without saying that everyone wants a healthy baby over one sex or the other.  For the 0.1% of whom this isn't true...weird.  In response to an OP about the honest preference for one sex over the other (which might not feel great, and probably comes with guilt, but is an authentic feeling), posting "I just want a healthy baby period", with no other comment, implies a certain look-down-the-nose judgment, as though said poster is above such insensitive, selfish, unmotherly feelings such as hoping for a girl or a boy over the alternative.  I think saying "I just want a healthy baby" is redundant (we all do) and doesn't advance the conversation.  That is all.  Just a personal opinion - if you believe I'm wrong, I'll happily agree to disagree.

WashingtonQueen

You do realize that some people really do not fucking care at all about the sex, right? You are trying to look down on them for not having a preference. Pot meet kettle.

AlanaB2010

I genuinely have no judgment for people with no preference.  I guess it's a different perspective on these boards and commenting upon them.  Obviously I am new, and obviously I have a different approach than some.  If someone says "I have concern XYZ", if I do not have that concern, I don't comment.  Saying "oh, I don't have that concern" doesn't help the OP, and may make HER feel judged.  Or not.  But I don't respond.  That is all I'm saying.

ImJessesGirl

I have a 9 year old girl and would love to have a boy. However, if that's not what happens, I'm ok with that too. I have really enjoyed having a little girl and would enjoy another. All kids are different anyway.

abbyful

@AlanaB2010‌ - Why is it so hard for you to grasp that some people truly don't have a preference? And it's not just because they did or didn't have a hard time TTC. I got pregnant 3rd month with DS, 1st month with 9.5w m/c, and 2nd month with this baby. I don't have a preference; I will be equally thrilled with either sex.

Manateearmz

So you don't want me to comment in case OP feels judged, yet you're judging me and replying to my reply even though it isn't necessary.

My head is spinning.

I explained my side eye. I personally want a healthy baby and really don't care one way or the other.

AlanaB2010

You're right, we've each shared our opinion and don't need to address it further.  If I've offended, particularly for making a joke in my initial post re: something that isn't appropriate to joke about, apologies.  I unequivocally do not judge you for your lack of preference.  It's a personality/cultural difference I think that guides us in when/how we post.  Nothing wrong with that.  Best of luck to all.

WashingtonQueen

AlanaB2010 said:

I genuinely have no judgment for people with no preference.  I guess it's a different perspective on these boards and commenting upon them.  Obviously I am new, and obviously I have a different approach than some.  If someone says "I have concern XYZ", if I do not have that concern, I don't comment.  Saying "oh, I don't have that concern" doesn't help the OP, and may make HER feel judged.  Or not.  But I don't respond.  That is all I'm saying.

Maybe you should check the thread title again. Here, let me help you.
"Do you gave a preference for baby's sex?"
That is a yes or a no question not, "only comment of you have a preference."
And even if it was, people can comment wherever they see fit. You know, public forum and all. JFC.

GoodWitchBadWitch

but guise...at least she used "sex" instead of "gender"

Meery82

WhoCanItBeNow said:

emmyg65 said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

emmyg65 said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

Manateearmz said:

Healthy. ::side eye::

There's nothing wrong with having a preference.

It's an issue when it becomes your life's purpose and you hate your child from having the wrong genitals and keep popping out baby after baby until you get what you want.

Or put your son in a dress on his first birthday and take photos, as an old coworker of mine did. o_O

So you have issues with boys in dresses?

I'm guessing pink is pearl clutch worthy too?




Ha, actually, absolutely not. My DH and I participate in a running group that involves TONS of cross-dressing, and I have no problem with any gender expression. I do have a problem with a woman who wanted a girl so badly that she couldn't give up the dream and put her son in a dress not because he wanted to wear one (dude was a baby) but because she always wanted a little girl.


So you are judging someone for having mental issues. 

Aren't you sweet.

Dude. You're reaching.

Cbsmith8183

I have a daughter and two sons. I would like this baby to be a girl just because my boys are so close they are constantly wrestling and laughing at their gross little boy humor. Sometimes I feel that my daughter is missing out on that kind of bond with a sister.
And frankly I grew up only child and always dreamed of having a sister to share with.

Manateearmz

@RedFirePhoenix25‌ pearls to match the necklace my H gave me.

BA ZINGA!

Jenrileysmom

I really wanted another little girl, it's just what I'm used to. On my mom's side of the family  we have only 2 males actually born into the family and not by marriage and they are 30 years apart. My mom has 3 sisters, they each had daughters...the daughters had daughters, etc, etc. I have one daughter and now we are having a BOY! I was shocked. I am still a little terrified because I know nothing about little boys but we are just so excited and blessed. 

kristinat0807

Personally I would LOVE a little boy! But I have a feeling it is a girl. I keep on having dreams that my doctor is telling me it is a girl..but in my dream I am still super super excited. I just want a happy/healthy baby..that is good enough at the end of the day

LadyXaverian

I have a 3 year old daughter. Right now I find myself attracted to boy 'things' but girl names. I don't think I have an actual preference-- or it changes from minute to minute. 

eboyd83

I kind of want a boy because my eleven year old son said he would like to have a brother.

LnR70707

WhoCanItBeNow said:

I was unaware the tide had shifted and it was now cool to judge people for having mental issues.

Gotcha.

If someone is dressing up their son in dresses and taking pictures of them so they know what it would be like to have a girl, they have reached a point of gender disappointment where they need to seek some help.

 If someone had jumped in here and said they only wanted a girl and were still going to put dresses on the baby even if it was a boy because ZOMG so cute, you would have been all over that.  Throwing out mental issues for a comment regarding a single incident is a bit much.