Concerns about the development of this board. — The Bump
November 2014 Moms

Concerns about the development of this board.

I am concerned about the development of this board. Having been a knot, nest, bump member for about 8 years I have never seen a board run with so many add on rules. 

Never have I seen another board require new posters to "get in with the cool kids" before posting. New posters seem to be required to learn how to dress, eat, and talk like the "cool kids" before they are allowed to post.  I find this unacceptable.  This is a public board with public thoughts and ideas. Yes there are specified community rules but I have seen so many posts being chewed up because of little "errors" in a persons ability to adapt to the said "cool kid" rules. 


The day of silence in particular is frustrating to me. There have been SO MANY losses these past 3 months. The day of silence was not held for all of the losses  but for 1 member of the board. Not only that, the day of silence was mandated  by a few select people. This was not something that was chosen by all of the members of this board or by The Bump gods. Trolling posts making sure people stay "silent" is unreasonable. If you want to be silent out of respect for someone you love that's a noble desire. But you can't expect the entire world to conform to the standards you set for your self. 

I am truly sorry for ALL of the losses on this board. I do not think one mama that has lost their baby would think that their loss was any less significant because of the manor that they lost their baby. 

I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way. 

Please, if you have concerns about these developments speak up. This is your forum to do so. 

If you have been someone requiring posters to conform to your rules that were not set by The Bump gods I ask you to reconsider the way you have been doing things. I believe this will contribute to a happier and healthier N14 board.  
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Re: Concerns about the development of this board.

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  • well written @carcrashheart You are able to articulate it much better then me!   :x
    stacyslo
  • I also believe that the best love and support you can give someone with a loss is long term. Not 1 day. I feel like we are saying "well the hardship is over now everyone back to normal". 

    Yesterday is most likely not the hardest part of Lisa's journey. 
  • shindylahoeshindylahoe member
    edited May 2014
    lisaren said:
    I never asked anyone to do anything and as a matter of fact I suggested just a thread of gifs. I feel equally sad for every mother who has had a loss here. I cry for them and with them. I appreciate the intense feeling of guilt you have now put upon me. On that note I think this is real fuckin shitty timing to post this. Real fuckin shitty.
     This is not directed at you. I know that you said everyone should continue business as usual. I should have added that as a side note to this post, i'm sorry. @lisaren
  • I also believe that the best love and support you can give someone with a loss is long term. Not 1 day. I feel like we are saying "well the hardship is over now everyone back to normal". 

    Yesterday is most likely not the hardest part of Lisa's journey. 
    Well I for one intend to keep supporting her! I don't think having a period of silence implies in any way that's the only form of support.
    I'm glad to hear it. 
  • i'm very sorry. honestly, there was never going to be a good time to post anything like this. and it's never the individual that is going through hell that asks for these things to be done. it's a board idea, and one that seems so awesome. it's just that nobody thought of it earlier.

    and like pp mentioned: long term support is crucial. in my own, not at all the same, experiences the rest of the world seems to begin easing up on support after about two weeks. grief lasts much longer than that. 

    the thing about BMB's also is that they are usually excessively large and not nearly as tight knit as other boards. so when something happens, not everyone is going to be aware. i read the post that asked for the board silence and OP even mentioned that there would be people that would post and bump threads and not to jump all over them. that's reasonable and fair. it's why i find it ridiculous that a thread was started to begin a spreadsheet of everyone due in november. 600+ people are not going to be 100% active on the board. BMB's have a lot more people that are sporadic in their involvement. that's just how they are. 

    and on a side note we should all be impressed with the activity on this board. after the massive fuckup TK/TN/TB went through a couple of years ago it killed most of their forums. most of TN is still pretty damn dead because everyone went off to the proboards (yuck). so the people behind TB are just thrilled as can be that people are actually posting here. they can all keep their jobs another day.
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  • KUinCBUS said:
    Hmm, this thread seems to suggest we should impose order while also critisizing those who try to impose order. While I'm only an occasional poster, here are my 2 cents. I like to go to restaurants. Shockingly, I do not love every item on every menu. So... I pick out the items I like and ignore the rest. Am I mad that the restaurant owner put foods I don't like on the menu? No. Do I order stuff I don't want? Also, no. This board is the same way. I treat the boards like a menu, I choose the threads of interest to me and ignore the rest. It keeps things remarkably simple.
    My problem comes when the posts that do interest me have a bunch of the wrong ingredients in them because someone in the line decided they didn't like the way the recipe was made. 
    (to make an analogy more complicated. :P ) 
    Miss Holiday
  • edited May 2014
    If I had my computer right now I'd turn this thread nachos, cake, and mean girls. Unfortunately, I still can't mobile gif. Thatisall.
    ETA: because "I don't like the recipe"
    Bwwaaaaahaaahaha
    RedBirdFly[Deleted User]MaelaraLongIslandMama1114
  • RedBirdFlyRedBirdFly member
    edited May 2014
    I can't mobile gif either.

    I can, however, get behind talking about nachos and cake.

    I am a big fan of both.

    And pie.

    Eta: this was supposed to be quoting @FirstBabyDoyle‌. 1‌ Idk what happened to the quote :( also my phone won't let me delete the 1.



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    [Deleted User]DoubleUp8
  • FhSTAR81 said:
    But was it really necessary to complain about maternity pants? It just couldn't wait?? You couldn't have talked about it on another board for just 1 day??
    The maternity pants post was made before "the silence"  I responded to a comment on my post. This wasn't the only post that was trolled. You can also see on the "laws you wish existed" post this happening too.  


    [Deleted User]
  • FhSTAR81 said:
    FhSTAR81 said:
    But was it really necessary to complain about maternity pants? It just couldn't wait?? You couldn't have talked about it on another board for just 1 day??
    The maternity pants post was made before "the silence"  I responded to a comment on my post. This wasn't the only post that was trolled. You can also see on the "laws you wish existed" post this happening too.  


    But you kept commenting on it. Like what was the harm of not posting? I don't get why you are makino this such a big thing. It was 1 day
    Honestly, when i skimmed through the PSA post (like I do most posts) I didn't read the silence part. I had commented on my posts early in the morning (pst) and then wasn't even on the board the rest of the day. I only saw the  "stop posting"  this morning when I jumped on. 

    I do think what I am concerned about still stands. I think that not everyone is going to follow the unspoken, or even some of the spoken board rules. I think people need to stop being so nit picky. 
    [Deleted User]
  • I'd like to add this thread pisses me off so bad!!!
    I felt like I was seeing RED when I read it. I've never been so pissed off by a comment on TB, even the ones were the ladies jumped down my throat over stupid baby shower etiquette.

    How can someone have the audacity to post this right after our moderator had to make a very difficult choice and is now mourning her sweet baby!? That's insane to me!

    Each active poster and some not so active has supported each N14 loss. Every loss thread is met with hundreds of sincere condolences. One mother even had a loss and everyone continued to post on it during the silence period. Maybe you should've asked the women who've lost so far if they felt any particular way first instead of assuming. 

    This post is a 1,2,3rd trimester board post. I may not have been on here for a decade but times change as with all things, you should very well know that. No one is excluded but asked to at least LOOK at the first page. It's the same request every board has! I've seen so many newbies flamed to where they're probably at home crying and none have been treated like this on the N14 board- the poster who was banned was a special case and she was harassing our moderator.

    I in no way feel like I'm apart of the "cool kids" or have I ever felt like I had to be. I mean my screen name is one of the most hated terms on TB.  And some of these ladies met prior to this board and that is perfectly fine with me.

    Step off the soapbox, and read that any non active/ newbie/ lurker that has posted a thread was welcomed with open arms. There was even a thread posted for Angel babies! 

    And as with any TB board you will be met with flames if you disrespect the moderator! Please I welcome you to try to disrespect Washington Queen or any of the other board moderators and see what happens...

    I stand behind the decision. She does so much for this board... we love Lisa our unicorn!
    I was in no way trying to disrespect Lisa as this post was not directed at her. 

    I agree with banning the OP in the case of her harassing anyone on this board.  


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