Creative Discipline — The Bump
April 2013 Moms

Creative Discipline

I understand that kids will be kids sometimes and there's no possible way of getting them to behave perfect all the time. But I've always wanted to be the mom that holds the respect of their children in that when asked to do something or when told no they don't put up a fight. What parent doesn't want this?

I believe it starts young and starts with training your children correctly. I've seen parents that all they know how to do is spank their children's behind and yet the kids keep doing what their mom just spanked them for 5 minutes ago. I'm not against spanking (4-5) swats on the tush only. But if you have to repeatedly do it and the child isn't listening then hey I don't think it's working.

I only have 1 child and she is only 1. So I'm not spanking her. And the only thing I'm correcting her on is things she shouldn't be touching. Dogs food, electric chords, box floor fans, etc... And the only approach I know is to be stern in saying No and Don't Touch That. With a little flick on her hand. But she isn't really catching on. I understand some of that might just be her young age.

But I believe a lot of it is also being creative in how you train and discipline your child. Smacks on the hand and "No!" dont work for every child. But that's how I was raised and it worked on me. But may not work for my child.

As I said this is my first baby and I'm no professional so go easy on me. Any suggestions how to how to not get her to touch things she shouldn't? And she's also getting to that phase where she will start to pick up on being defiant. How do I nip that in the bud? I'm not going to be that mom that constantly spanks her kid over and over and still has a problem on her hands. I'd like to explore more options. But need suggestions. Thanks ladies! Or any book recommendations on raising a well behaved child?

Sorry for a long post and for any misspelling. I'm typing this on my phone.

Re: Creative Discipline

  • Well, like you said, she is 1. She will continue to do it until it catches on with her and sometimes some kids are slower than others to catch on and that is okay. What works best is keep redirecting to what she -can- have. When she touches the cords, tell her "no cord/wire"and hand her a toy and move her out of that area. Most important thing is to keep at it. 

    I know it is irritating because at this point it just seems like I am telling him "no," "stop," "don't do that," etc. There are some times when I can watch him and he will hover his hand over the cord to my laptop and then think about it then move away. 

    They are little explorers... also they like to see actions/reactions. Negative reactions are reactions and if they are feeling ornery/bored they might just keep doing something to get some entertainment.
     
     
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  • Of course you want a respectful child who grows up to be a good person, but I don't think the situation you're describing is that realistic. Every child is going to test boundaries. Every child is going to be defiant sometimes. Every child is going to go through phases where he is disrespectful or doesn't do what you ask. I think all you can do is keep being firm, setting expectations high, reward good behavior and have consequences for bad behavior. I'm no expert as I'm on my first kid, too, although I do have some nannying experience. At the end of the day, kids push boundaries because they want someone to tell them no, and if you do the best you can to be loving, firm, and consistent, chances are your kid will grow up to be a good kid. Having said that, sometimes kids grow up to be bad people and there's nothing the parent can do about it. Trying to plan everything out in advance just doesn't really work... I think you have to play it by ear.
    Amanda

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  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    I gotta ask my parents how they did this stuff, because at 36, I'm still afraid to disobey my parents, I've pretty much always done what they told me, and they didn't spank or anything.


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  • I agree with love and logic. That is the parenting philosophy we will be following

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  • I usually make an "ahh ahh ahh" sound to get baby's attention then offer a really good distraction. They don't really get it at this age. They are more into cause and effect. Sometimes they just do stuff and study your reaction and then try it again because they have never seen you make that face before or use that voice. They aren't out to piss us off or defy us (at least at this age). I would also just try to remove anything that you don't want them to get into if possible- remove temptation.

    Like others said there is no one size fits all. My DS ignored me when I said "no" at 1 but if I say no to DD she will start crying. Parenting is hard work- I would read a few books and find an approach you feel comfortable with when the time comes to discipline your child. I read "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and found a lot of good information in there about how the mind of a toddler works. I think discipline is a lot easier and more effective when you can understand where the behavior is coming from. Over time you'll learn what triggers your child and how sensitive he/she is.
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  • I'm going to look into these. Logan knows what he can and can't play with. He will give me his mischievous look and do it anyway. Flicking doesn't work, he thinks it's funny. If I tell I'm not to do something that's exactly what he will do.
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  • doeie04 said:
    I'm going to look into these. Logan knows what he can and can't play with. He will give me his mischievous look and do it anyway. Flicking doesn't work, he thinks it's funny. If I tell I'm not to do something that's exactly what he will do.
    Stephen does this too. I say "no, no" and he looks back and me, waves his little finger/hand and says "na, na, na." But he knows he is not suppose to (pull the night light out of the wall) and will look at me as he is about to touch it. I tapped his hand yesterday and said "no, no" and he then also tapped his hand and again said "na, na, na." lol At least he is comical. 
    Married July 2008.  TTC 2010.
    Stephen James born 4/24/13 after 27 hours of labor and 2.5 hours of pushing!
    Due with #2   4/16/15


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