October 2014 Moms
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Baby Shower Etiquette

So let me start this by saying that I am not from this country so I have only been to a couple of baby showers and don't really know how the planning works.  I have two very sweet girlfriends here who would like to throw me a baby shower and want to start the planning now but I would like to contribute to the cost as I feel uncomfortable having people give me a bunch of presents without me "hosting" to a certain extent.  I also don't want my girlfriends to have to pay for everything as them doing all the planning etc is enough of a gift.  Is it ok to suggest that we do it at my place and I provide the food and drink?   
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Re: Baby Shower Etiquette

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    I agree with PPs. They wouldn't offer if they didn't realize they would be paying for it. I don't see anything wrong with volunteering your home if they haven't already found a location but I wouldn't volunteer for anything else.

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    ss265ss265 member
    There is certainly nothing wrong with offering but it is normal for a friend to host and provide food and beverages. Perhaps you provide a nice gift for each of the hostesses?
    This! I was in a similar situation (not from this country and no idea what the norm for baby showers is). I asked my friend who was hosting if I could help pay for anything and she declined. In turn, I just got her a hostess gift.

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    jcsumm0jcsumm0 member
    Having it in your home is fine, but let them do the rest.  The reasoning here is that it is essentially a party for people to give you gifts, so it's inappropriate to host your own shower at which people are showering you with gifts.  Does that make sense?
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    lrobi13lrobi13 member
    Yep, let them shower you!  But giving a nice hostess gift is always a nice gesture.  I personally love giving monogramed things (got all sorts of goodies from the Knot shop last year for my wedding!)
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    SusieBWSusieBW member
    I agree with everyone else - doing it at your house is cool, and offering to help with other stuff is cool, but let them take the lead.

    Hostess gifts are certainly a nice way to thank your friends for the effort and money that they're putting into throwing the shower for you.
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    The gifts are a great idea, I don't know why I didn't think of that and I like the way you all explained it. Thanks guys!  
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    I think PPs all had some good thoughts. One other thing to keep in mind that depending on how far along you are when the shower is, you may not feel up to getting your place ready for a shower and handling the food/drinks. I vote for a nice hostess gift for your friends! Good luck!
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    BeanNutBeanNut member
    You should let them plan it how and where they want.  If you are concerned about them spending too much money, just talk to them and let them know you are ok with something that is not too big or flashy.  Otherwise, let them have their fun!


    Peanut 1.23.11 ~ Bean 9.06.12 ~ Little Boy 9.24.14
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