October 2014 Moms

Already stressing about Thanksgiving (need opinions)

OK... yes I am a plan ahead type of person.... Here's the problem:

I am due Oct. 19th, so around Thanksgiving LO will be about a month old.  Every year for Thanksgiving my side of the family always goes to my grandparents farm (think no tv, no phones, no ac, no locks on doors, out there in the country farm).... It's my side's one big holiday (We do Christmas and New Years with his side, not an option not to).

So my question/problem is do I take LO to Thanksgiving, and instead of staying the night like we would just go for the day and come back after dinner, or should we go to DH's side and forego the farm for this year and suck up not seeing my family?  -- Grant it this all depends on if people are sick (if anyone is sick we wouldn't be going there!)  Thanks for the input!

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Re: Already stressing about Thanksgiving (need opinions)

  • How far away is it?  If you're talking about going and coming back in one day I assume it is not too far?  I might just plan on going--with the caveat that if people are sick, or you have not recovered enough, you would be able to back out gracefully.
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  • I also have to apologize for not seeing the dilemma? What reason(s) do you have for not wanting to go?

    I think that farm sounds wonderful, actually! Wish I had something like that to go to :)
  • I'd go.  It sounds like the place is pretty remote.  If it's not that far of a drive (for me that means less than about 2 hours), I'd come home that night though. 

    I'd hope that if someone is sick, they'd have the courtesy to stay home for everyone's sake!

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  • Not sure why you wouldn't want to go (as long as no one is sick and you're feeling good of course), especially as it sounds relatively close by?  I would plan on going right now   :)
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  • I am a FTM, so I don't really know. My mom's advice to me has always been not to let something be "hard" because people say it should be. My boss, however, checked out of all holiday stuff and his kid was born in September. If you ever had a good excuse to avoid a family function, now is the time. However, if you want to go, then go!

    FTM - BFP: 1/23/14 - EDD: 10/5/14 - DD Born 9/13/14

  • Sounds like a fantastic opportunity to spend time with family and get some fresh air and sunlight (both awesome for newborns). :) I would go and have a great time!
  • I would plan on going and you can decide if you want to spend the night later after the baby is here.
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  • I would definitely still go. I may not stay the night but I would definitely go. I don't think it would be fair to your family to forego the one holiday you spend with them simply because of the lack of amenities.  

    **TTC since 10/2009** **BFP 4/15/12- Dx Molar Pregnancy- Surgery 5/15/12 & 5/22/12** **BFP 1/23/14- 1st Beta (1/24/14) 171 2nd Beta (1/28/14) 860** Pregnancy Ticker

  • I would definitely go.. esp if that's the one big holiday a year your family gets together.. but im kind of crazy and dont mind taking kids/babies places like that :) good luck!
  • I would plan on going. I had my son a week before Thanksgiving and we still attended family functions. Really at one month old it is so easy to travel with them. They are still in the eat/sleep/poop stage where they don't do much else and location changes don't bother them.

    As long as no one is sick and people have had their whooping cough vaccine I would go.
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  • Go and enjoy the holiday and your family. I'm excited that my maternity leave will be over the holidays and that I don't have to worry about working!
    ~Miss K born 1/8/2011~Miss I born 1/3/2013~2 angels~
    Baby #3 is on the way!  EDD 10/29/14

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    DS was born 12 days before Thanksgiving and we attended Thanksgiving festivities with DH's side of the family. They are local though so we didn't have to travel. I don't remember anyone being sick but if anyone was, I would just ask them not to hold the baby, not forgo the outing entirely. And I made sure that DH, myself and my Mom (who stayed with us for 5 weeks when we had DS) all had the whooping cough and flu vaccine but didn't bother with anyone else. I didn't feel the need to make anyone get the vaccine if they were going to be around the baby for just a few hours.

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  • I would go for the day and if it was within reasonable distance go to DH family house after!
  • I would go! Let me tell you, newborns are 10 x easier than a toddler. They sleep most of the time, especially at only a month old. If that's what you typically do, I would say stick with the plan.


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  • You all must have well adjusted families!

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  • I would probably try to go for the day if it's pretty close by.  
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    Nicb13 said:
    I would go! Let me tell you, newborns are 10 x easier than a toddler. They sleep most of the time, especially at only a month old. If that's what you typically do, I would say stick with the plan.
    Ha! Mine didn't sleep at night at a month old. I was up all night with him. That's the only draw back I could think of in this situation. Being up all night with a newborn.
    Just wanted to add that at that age, most babies are really sensitive to stimuli and usually react to new situations with extra fussing, sleeplessness etc. If you do go, be prepared for an extra fussy baby that night which might make being in your own house a lot easier than being somewhere else. So my caveat is that I would go but plan to travel home that night - I think you will be much happier in your own house.

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  • I also don't really see the problem.

    We did a weekend at my IL's less than 2 weeks after LO was born.  Their house is a 2.5-3 hour drive from our place.  It was kinda nice to be able to hand the baby off to someone I really trusted so I could nap, to be perfectly honest.  
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  • I would go and just be prepared with whatever baby gear you need.  For us it would have been a moby wrap, Pack n play or rock n play and a battery operated travel-sized swing (total lifesaver by the way).  We did a lot of camping while I was on maternity leave with DS and as long as he was in the moby wrap, swing or attached to my boob he was happy.

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    TTC #3 since October 2017

  • MollyC20 said:
    my concern would be it's it's a long drive, general dirtiness (we're not dirty people.. but it's a farm), dogs everywhere, 30 people around a one month old... I just can't remember what it was like when DD was that young and how "fragile" they are then?  But all of y'all sound like it's a no brainer so I'll plan on seeing my family!  Thanks for the smack in the face! :)
    How long is the drive? Just asking in case you were planning on staying only for the day. If it were really far (3+ hours, which would make it 6+ hours roundtrip), I could understand choosing to opt out. But I'm also a big baby about car rides...I hate being cooped up for that long!
  • My only concern would be if you have a section and crappy recovery. I was still not loving car rides 4 weeks after my surgery. But for otherwise I would go.
  • The car ride might be a factor for me b/c DD screamed in the car non-stop for the 1st 7 months.
  • I would go. Sounds fun. My nephew was 3 weeks old at Thanksgiving and my brother and SIL brought him over with no problems. 

  • I would go. Babies are super adaptable at the newborn stage so won't care where they are :) Sounds relaxing!
  • I totally thought this thread was going to be about stressing out about cooking Thanksgiving dinner while taking care of a newborn/ 1 mos old....That is what I am concerned with as well as my mother and my mother in law behaving themselves and getting along...I REALLY want to order food or go to a restaurant but I don't know if they will even entertain this idea...
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