Another Day Care Question (Long) - UPDATE

Codypup

UPDATE

So, interesting and positive turn of events here. I showed up to get W, and the director immediately pulled me aside to talk. Apparently, Ms Tammy sensed my unease this morning, and let the director know I might have concerns.

The director assured me about a few things. First off, three days per week, they have 2 teachers in the room for the majority of the day, Tammy works 6am - 3pm, and the second teacher works 9am - 6pm. On the other two days they have floaters (including the director herself) who are constantly in and out of the room. 

She also mentioned how I happen to arrive every morning during a naturally hectic time. The babies are awake, hungry, and active, which is why things seem crazy. She said that this morning, right after I left, she herself was in the room for over an hour to help, after which things calmed down a ton.

I felt kind of stupid talking to her about it, like I was being THAT mom... but I do feel more reassured. As I was leaving, some random teacher from the 2 year old room stopped me so she could say goodbye to Willa. Apparently, she spends time in the afternoons with the infants and has taken a liking to my baby. I didn't even know other teachers spent time in there, and the fact that they do really makes me happy. 

So, I'm glad I talked to her, or rather, I'm glad she cared enough to talk to ME preemptively. She clearly cares about her kids and their parents, and I do feel better about the entire situation. Obviously, I wish the ratios were different in this state...but that's an entirely different point.

Original Post:

Sorry in advance if this is a bit long and ramble-y. I'm kind of unsettled about the situation, and I'm not really sure what I'm asking, but just wanted to run this by all of you. Hope that's okay.

W goes to a day care that overall, I really like. The director is awesome, her teachers are great, and it's affordable. It's close to home and work, they provide everything. I make a point to stay for about 20 minutes when I drop W off, because it takes her a little bit to adjust to the noise and chaos. While I'm there, I chit chat with the teacher, engage with the other kids, etc. 

What I don't like is the 1:6 ratio, and I wish there were something I could do about it. Every single morning, the room teacher is completely alone with 6 babies, and she usually seems overwhelmed. She's a wonderful person and I know she's doing the best she can, but she's only ONE person -- she simply can't be everywhere at once. This morning, for example, she was spoon feeding one kid while another was sitting there crying because hungry. A third kid was screaming to be picked up because he was over tired, and a 4th had scooched down off her boppy and also had snot running down her face and into her mouth. At that moment, kid #5 bumped his head, and so the teacher had to stop everything to attend to his bump.

I get that all of that is normal stuff - snot happens, bumps happen, babies cry, kids can't all be fed at the exact same time. But it was clear that the teacher could have used an extra hand, ya know? And I can't help but worry that because W is such a quiet baby, she's overlooked because the other, older kids are way more active and vocal. 

This morning, I asked the teacher if she wanted me to send someone in to help -- and her response was "No, they hear the kids crying...they know it's chaos in here." The way she said it made me feel like she WANTS help, but isn't getting it. (Or maybe isn't asking for it?)

I believe I'm being a bit of a FTM worry wart, and I think my expectations are probably too high. I realistically know that if I want more one on one care for W, I'd have to quit my job or hire a nanny, neither of which are feasible options. Overall, I trust the center and I believe W is being cared for. I guess I'm wondering...is it worth a discussion with the director, to see if they could put a floater in the room more often? Am I being "that mom" who needs to calm the F down, and realize that this is just the nature of day care? 

If you made it this far, thank you. That turned into a rambling vent. It's so hard to be away from my baby, and I just want to know she's in the best hands possible, ya know?

sandraanddrew

I'm assuming this is a centre. What are the state/province guidelines for infant ratios? If you are concerned (which I would be too) I'd speak to the director. But make a point to emphasize how well the teacher is handling it. That way it isn't seen as her not coping well.

hopefuldog

My state has a 4:1 ratio for infants. You should look into that. I can't imagine having 6 infants alone. Usually our daycare has 2 teachers. Yesterday, at drop off, there were significantly more car seats in the hallway. I was happy to see 3 teachers in the room when I went in.

MamaAllison

I'm surprised she is allowed a 1:6 ratio. In my state, PA, that ratio is not allowed until the kids are three. 1:4 is the standard for babies. Have you checked your states required ratio?

ras26

Whoa.  1:6 for infants?  That would be pretty tough.  I don't have a good answer if that is the state minimum ratio; it's unlikely that they are going to consistently put a second person in there, because from a business standpoint, it doesn't make sense to if they are meeting the "requirements" as is.  That being said, drop-off/pick-up times can be the most chaotic, and there's a chance it calms down later in the day and she has things more under control, so maybe some morning help would be do-able. It might be worth a quick chat with the director to see if maybe at the times when multiple kids are likely to be needing attention (like feeding times) if they could send someone in.  An infant room is probably almost always going to have someone crying for one reason or another, and I get that.  I only have 2 kids now and sometimes one of them  just has to cry for a couple of minutes while I'm helping the other one, but I'd see if they can send in some help during the most difficult times of day.

djtippietoes

You are in georgia, right? The 1:6 is in fact the ratio here for the people that were asking.

It wouldn't hurt to mention it to the director if it's something that concerns you.

djtippietoes

Also it's worth looking for another center that has a better ratio if you want. Just because the state law is 1:6 doesn't mean they all have that. The one we go to is also 1:6 but I looked at one that was 1:4.

Codypup

Thank you guys for your input - I was worried I was being over dramatic, but it makes me feel better to know you think it's worth a conversation.

The state required ratio is 1:6, which I also find crazy. Infants are obviously needy and completely reliant on adults, unlike toddlers who can at least (usually) feed themselves. W's teacher is wonderful at what she does, but she just one person! I feel like she's so busy keeping kids fed and changed that there's no time for interaction or snuggles. And selfishly, I want them to engage with and love on my baby, not just maintain the status quo, if that makes sense. And this is really stupid...but it really bothers me that they can't find time to wipe noses. I don't care that babies are snotty, but it makes me sad to see it just sitting there on their faces.

They do have another infant teacher who overlaps with the main teacher, but from what I can tell, it's not consistent. I've also seen the day care nutritionist in the room, helping out. But the majority of the time I'm there, it's just that one teacher alone.

@tyrannosauruslex - how would I approach the director without being offensive or rude? Would it be out of line to say "So, I've noticed that the infant room seems really chaotic in the mornings when I drop W off, and it seems like Ms. Tammy could use some help. Would it be possible to get an extra set of hands in there, or how do you guys handle that?"

1linedrawing

Agree with PPs, address your concerns with the director.

Codypup

ETA - Besides this issue, I really do like the day care center. The director is approachable and friendly, and very professional. All the employees are also constantly engaged with the kids, and seem to like their jobs. I don't doubt that W is safe or anything. I also know the director is anal about following guidelines and rules, and she does continual training for herself and her staff. 

So this isn't a make or break issue, I just wonder if I should mention my concerns.

slwprincess

djtippietoes said:

You are in georgia, right? The 1:6 is in fact the ratio here for the people that were asking. It wouldn't hurt to mention it to the director if it's something that concerns you.

1:6 is state mandated in GA but most centers that I've used or visited stick to 1:4 as their own policy.  In fact, our current daycare posts their center policy ratios on the classroom window just so there is no question that they are exceeding State requirements.  OP- I would definitely mention it to the director and ask them if they always do a 1:6 ratio or if this is just a matter of scheduling and the second teacher hasn't arrived yet?  Either way, I do think they need a floater.    

sdlaura

6 infants for one teacher does seem like a lot. In CA, where we use an in home daycare, she can have up to 6 kids but no more than 3 infants if there are 6 kids. If she only has 4, all 4 can be under 2. She intentionally staggers the ages quite a bit in order to make sure she can give the babies appropriate attention. So DS (3 months) will be the youngest, and the next youngest is 10 months. I think that very experienced providers can take care of a lot of kids at once and do it well, but since you have observed things you're not comfortable with, I would talk to them about it.

boogerbearoriginal

While they may be compliant with the law, I don't see how one adult can consistently give quality care to 6 infants. That just seems like too much for any one person to handle. FWIW I don't mean this to be critical of you @codypup, but babies are very needy and it seems unfair to burden one caregiver with six babies.

I think your approach of saying it as compliment towards the teacher, and go from there. I don't think your concerns are unwarranted, she sounds like she's understandably overwhelmed.

courtls22

I don't have much to add but wanted to say I agree with TLex and other PPs. I'm the lead infant teacher at my center. Our state ratios are 1:4 but we're a small center and luckily always have extra staff when needed. Yesterday we had 6 babies and it was nearly impossible with 2 of us so we had a float staff help us most of the day. The 1:6 ratio is just not feasible and I wish that you didn't have to deal with that. In my opinion even 1:4 should be lowered because it pushes the teacher's limits. I'm going to be completely honest, if I lived in a state with 1:6 ratios, I would quit being a daycare teacher. I would be way too stressed out. What a blessing it is for you to have teachers at your daycare that seem to truly enjoy their work and do the best they can because I'm not sure how well I would handle it if I were them. The teacher's comment about others hearing her but not helping is very relatable- I imagine the other rooms are just as busy and maybe there isn't an extra staff available at that time? Thinking of you and I hope talking with the director helps your situation out!

courtls22

What a great update! Willa definitely goes to a great daycare center when the teacher knew you were concerned even before you brought it up.  The fact that she went to the director knowing you felt uneasy is awesome.  I'm glad you got the information you wanted and that others are helping her main teacher out throughout the day when needed! 

Noethola

Sounds like a great place for her to be after reading your update!

keags5496

Awesome update.  They seem like super kind and caring people.  High five!