Leave a child in the car while you run into the store to do an errand (think post office or bank, not grocery shopping).
This poll was prompted by a conversation I had with my husband last night. I was supposed to drop a package off at the post office and I decided not to becasue DS (age 2 1/2) had fallen asleep in the car and I did not want to try to wake him up and manage him and the baby and the package in the post office. He said I should have just left him sleeping in the car and run in with the baby. I said he was too young to do that.
I couldn't do this. Maybe at like 8? I would love to do things during the day, but then decide not to bc I don't want to buckle them in, take them out, buckle them in again and take them out. It's a pain in the ass.
My mom left me in the car once with it running (6 or 7) and I put it in reverse and rammed into a pole. I'd like to avoid all things related to that for as long as possible.
I've just heard too many horror stories to take doing this lightly. I think I would wait until I was comfortable with leaving them at home alone before letting them stay in the car alone. This may seem extreme and I may change my tune later in life but... .for now... none of those ages make me comfortable!
See this is me too. I am firmly in the never camp - I cant even leave them alone in the car to return my shopping cart unless I am parked directly next to the shopping cart return corral. DH (and several of my friends) think this is extreme. I am glad to hear I am not being too unreasonable.
I do remember my mom leaving us in the car when she would run into the store and nothing happened but It was a very different world 30 years ago.
It's illegal to leave a child in a car, running or not under the age of 13. If they aren't legal to be home without supervision then you can't leave them in the car either. I agree that it's a pain in the ass to run errands and have to do the in and out of the car a bunch but it's the safest way to have your kids with you. Plus cars can get super hot even in mild weather and you never know who might see your child alone in the car as an opportunity. Especially if they know how to get out of their seat and open doors you don't know what could happen.
My mom left me in the car once with it running (6 or 7) and I put it in reverse and rammed into a pole. I'd like to avoid all things related to that for as long as possible.
I did this too, actually. I think I was 7.
But I'd say 8. All of those ages are way too young!
California, and yes I believe there is. Obviously if you have a mature child close to that age I think it's reasonable to use your judgement for short periods of time. As one of four children I know I was left home alone before that age but like pp have said we live in a different time.
My mom left me in the car once with it running (6 or 7) and I put it in reverse and rammed into a pole. I'd like to avoid all things related to that for as long as possible.
Totally did this too. I say 8 or 9 without the keys in there.
I put never, but really I would not do it until my child was 10-11 yrs old. It is illegal in my state (Nebraska) to leave a kid under the age of 8 (or some age around there) in a car unattended. I have heard SO many stories about people running into the gas station for a hot minute and having the cops called b/c they left their child alone in the car. Now those people have to fight with CPS. While it is a huge PITA I'll be taking my girls with me for a long time.
You guys all made me feel better about not being comfortable with this. I really dont think I was being unreasonable but DH was upset that I didnt just drop the package off (it was something that is time sensitive so I understand his concern but I was just not willing to do it.
@Bookshelves to be honest it is a concern that I have now, and will be a topic of future discussions between me and him. He already knows how I feel but like I said earlier he things I worry too much about things sometimes. It has never really been an issue before and honestly the times he takes the kids anywhere without me are very few becasue he works crazy hours and usually when he is alone with the kids it is in the evenings when not much is open or he is taking them to his parents house where I know they have eyes on them.
When DD1 was the only child, never. Now that I have 2 I will run into the post office. But I always turn the vehicle off, and lock the doors. I take the keys and my phone with me. The post office is the only place I'll do this, and only if I have to grab the mail out of the box, not grab a package. I feel safe because I have my keys with me, they're both buckled in carseats and the door are locked. Once DD1 gets older and can get out of her booster seat and unlock the doors I won't leave them alone anymore.
ETA: If it's hot outside I won't leave them alone for even a minute. Then I just skip the post office errands or make DH do it.
I think it is illegal here in Ontario to leave them under the age of 12 but I don't know for a fact. I think I heard that in the news a couple years ago. We are lucky that DS1 would stay asleep if I had to transfer him. It is a pain but it is something you get used to and plan around. We won't leave kids in the car until they are teenagers. But I hope they like us enough they will come with us at that age.
I vote never per those ages. A teenager? Maybe? Just recently a 6 yr old was left sleeping in a car near me and the parents ran into the store. When they came back she was gone. It's sad that there are so many sickos in our society. They are so vulnerable when sleeping too. Its well worth the tantrum to wake them verses the alternative.
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It depends on where you live. I would say probably 10 or 11 for my kids, but I grew up in a tiny neighborhood on what was once an island so my parents definitely left me in the car earlier when it came to errands in our neighborhood.
12/26/2012 U/S #2 8w6d - No more heartbeat, MMC; D&C; Chromosome testing normal; male RPL testing normal
4/3/2013 DX Asherman's Syndrome caused by D&C, hysteroscopy done
June 2013 IVF #4 planned
5/12/2013 SURPRISE BFP! Natural cycle
7/11/2013 Panorama results Normal!!! Team Pink, partial previa moved up in 2nd tri9/5/13 (19w) AS scan shows short cervix, 2.5 cm 9/19 (21w) Cervix is worse 1.87cm, bed rest 10/26 & 10/27 steroid shots 12/19 (35w) DX: SGA Baby went from 57% percentile to 18th percentile in 6 weeks. Weekly BPP and NST until she is here. 1/17/18 Growth scan puts Abby below 10th percent in size, low amniotic fluid, and less movement. Time to induce! 1/18/14 2:11am Abigial Morgan is here! 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches of pure cuteness!!!
I say never for those suggested ages. In Philly we have kiosk parking. I have to walk 1/2 a block to feed the meter sometimes. I agonize over leaving them in the car when I do this. If I have to walk more then a car length I freak and unless it's cold or bad weather - they come with me or I have eyes on my car the entire time and lock it like 40 times. This is when I'm 10 steps away - can't imagine going in somewhere
Not until they are teenagers. I won't even do it in my driveway.
A couple weeks ago a woman left her sleeping 2year old in the car to run into the gas station bc the credit card scanner was broken at the pump, and a man hijacked her car and took police on a statewide chase. No thank you.
Ok so I never ever would if the car was out of my sight. But honestly, I thought about it once. I didn't actually do it, but am still not sure what was the better option. So all of you that said never ever, I want your opinions:
I had my newborn and 2 1/2 year old with me. We went to pick up pizza. I had already ordered it and paid for it online. I parked right by the front door and the pick up is 5 feet from the door. So all together, I was going to be 15 feet (approximately) from the car. No one was in line, so it was going to take me 1-2 minutes to walk in say my order, they grab my pizza and back to the car. Still daylight out.
So I could get both of the car. Get pizza. Now walk back to car with infant seat in one hand, pizza in the other. No free hand for toddler - I am left walking towards a parking lot, just reminding her to stay close, not to run away. Obviously, if I had to, I would have dropped the pizza to chase and grab her.
But in this particular case, is the safest option really to bring them in? I am not talking about how annoying it is to get both girls out of the car, I will do it, if it will keep them safe. But what's more likely - someone to run by, break a window of my car, hot wire it and drive away in under 2 minutes in the middle of the day. Or my toddler to see a balloon 10 miles away floating away, or a random dog across the street or whatever it is that might catch a 2 year olds attention, then her dart into the parking lot and get hit by a car.
FWIW - I went with option 1. And the cashier took pity on me and walked the pizza out to my car for me so I could hold my toddlers hand.
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BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
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BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10 "Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
Ok so I never ever would if the car was out of my sight. But honestly, I thought about it once. I didn't actually do it, but am still not sure what was the better option. So all of you that said never ever, I want your opinions:
I had my newborn and 2 1/2 year old with me. We went to pick up pizza. I had already ordered it and paid for it online. I parked right by the front door and the pick up is 5 feet from the door. So all together, I was going to be 15 feet (approximately) from the car. No one was in line, so it was going to take me 1-2 minutes to walk in say my order, they grab my pizza and back to the car. Still daylight out.
So I could get both of the car. Get pizza. Now walk back to car with infant seat in one hand, pizza in the other. No free hand for toddler - I am left walking towards a parking lot, just reminding her to stay close, not to run away. Obviously, if I had to, I would have dropped the pizza to chase and grab her.
But in this particular case, is the safest option really to bring them in? I am not talking about how annoying it is to get both girls out of the car, I will do it, if it will keep them safe. But what's more likely - someone to run by, break a window of my car, hot wire it and drive away in under 2 minutes in the middle of the day. Or my toddler to see a balloon 10 miles away floating away, or a random dog across the street or whatever it is that might catch a 2 year olds attention, then her dart into the parking lot and get hit by a car.
FWIW - I went with option 1. And the cashier took pity on me and walked the pizza out to my car for me so I could hold my toddlers hand.
Delivery
I'm 33 DH is 36
Married 6/27/2009 Together since 10/22/2005 TTC since 8/2010 (off BCP since 8/2009) Unexplained Infertility
12/26/2012 U/S #2 8w6d - No more heartbeat, MMC; D&C; Chromosome testing normal; male RPL testing normal
4/3/2013 DX Asherman's Syndrome caused by D&C, hysteroscopy done
June 2013 IVF #4 planned
5/12/2013 SURPRISE BFP! Natural cycle
7/11/2013 Panorama results Normal!!! Team Pink, partial previa moved up in 2nd tri9/5/13 (19w) AS scan shows short cervix, 2.5 cm 9/19 (21w) Cervix is worse 1.87cm, bed rest 10/26 & 10/27 steroid shots 12/19 (35w) DX: SGA Baby went from 57% percentile to 18th percentile in 6 weeks. Weekly BPP and NST until she is here. 1/17/18 Growth scan puts Abby below 10th percent in size, low amniotic fluid, and less movement. Time to induce! 1/18/14 2:11am Abigial Morgan is here! 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches of pure cuteness!!!
Ok so I never ever would if the car was out of my sight. But honestly, I thought about it once. I didn't actually do it, but am still not sure what was the better option. So all of you that said never ever, I want your opinions:
I had my newborn and 2 1/2 year old with me. We went to pick up pizza. I had already ordered it and paid for it online. I parked right by the front door and the pick up is 5 feet from the door. So all together, I was going to be 15 feet (approximately) from the car. No one was in line, so it was going to take me 1-2 minutes to walk in say my order, they grab my pizza and back to the car. Still daylight out.
So I could get both of the car. Get pizza. Now walk back to car with infant seat in one hand, pizza in the other. No free hand for toddler - I am left walking towards a parking lot, just reminding her to stay close, not to run away. Obviously, if I had to, I would have dropped the pizza to chase and grab her.
But in this particular case, is the safest option really to bring them in? I am not talking about how annoying it is to get both girls out of the car, I will do it, if it will keep them safe. But what's more likely - someone to run by, break a window of my car, hot wire it and drive away in under 2 minutes in the middle of the day. Or my toddler to see a balloon 10 miles away floating away, or a random dog across the street or whatever it is that might catch a 2 year olds attention, then her dart into the parking lot and get hit by a car.
FWIW - I went with option 1. And the cashier took pity on me and walked the pizza out to my car for me so I could hold my toddlers hand.
This was kinda my husbands argument. In my case the post office was not crowded and the whole front is floor to ceiling windows so I would have been able to see the car the whole time. The package I was dropping off had a prepaid label on it so I did not have to pay any shipping costs. He was annoyed that I did not just run it in and back out - would have taken under a minute. I can logically understand his point of view but in the moment it just felt wrong becasue of all the "what ifs". His response was that I was being a little paranoid and despite all our best efforts there is never going to be a way to prevent everything that "could" happen. My response was simply "but I can prevent this."
Re: At what age is it okay to...
I do remember my mom leaving us in the car when she would run into the store and nothing happened but It was a very different world 30 years ago.
our little flower born 01.13.14
But I'd say 8. All of those ages are way too young!
My boys are 6 and 7, they aren't that bad to bring into the store/post office/pick up pizza, etc. My 3 YO is the PITA to take inside anywhere.
DS1 born 11/3/06 * DS2 born 3/29/08 * DD born 3/15/11
Scarlett Mae born 1/14/14 Our family is now complete!
@Bookshelves to be honest it is a concern that I have now, and will be a topic of future discussions between me and him. He already knows how I feel but like I said earlier he things I worry too much about things sometimes. It has never really been an issue before and honestly the times he takes the kids anywhere without me are very few becasue he works crazy hours and usually when he is alone with the kids it is in the evenings when not much is open or he is taking them to his parents house where I know they have eyes on them.
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14
We are lucky that DS1 would stay asleep if I had to transfer him. It is a pain but it is something you get used to and plan around.
We won't leave kids in the car until they are teenagers. But I hope they like us enough they will come with us at that age.
BFP #2 (5/18/13) due 1/26/14. Grow baby grow!
Its a surprise! Team green!
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
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BFP #6 01/11/15 EDD 09/22/15 M/C 03/09/15
TTC since 8/2010 (off BCP since 8/2009) Unexplained Infertility
12/10/2012 U/S #1 6w4d - heartbeat EDD 8/1/13
1/18/14 2:11am Abigial Morgan is here! 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches of pure cuteness!!!
ETA: I've done it in my driveway but to me that's different. In my head anyway.
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A couple weeks ago a woman left her sleeping 2year old in the car to run into the gas station bc the credit card scanner was broken at the pump, and a man hijacked her car and took police on a statewide chase. No thank you.
I had my newborn and 2 1/2 year old with me. We went to pick up pizza. I had already ordered it and paid for it online. I parked right by the front door and the pick up is 5 feet from the door. So all together, I was going to be 15 feet (approximately) from the car. No one was in line, so it was going to take me 1-2 minutes to walk in say my order, they grab my pizza and back to the car. Still daylight out.
So I could get both of the car. Get pizza. Now walk back to car with infant seat in one hand, pizza in the other. No free hand for toddler - I am left walking towards a parking lot, just reminding her to stay close, not to run away. Obviously, if I had to, I would have dropped the pizza to chase and grab her.
But in this particular case, is the safest option really to bring them in? I am not talking about how annoying it is to get both girls out of the car, I will do it, if it will keep them safe. But what's more likely - someone to run by, break a window of my car, hot wire it and drive away in under 2 minutes in the middle of the day. Or my toddler to see a balloon 10 miles away floating away, or a random dog across the street or whatever it is that might catch a 2 year olds attention, then her dart into the parking lot and get hit by a car.
FWIW - I went with option 1. And the cashier took pity on me and walked the pizza out to my car for me so I could hold my toddlers hand.
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
TTC since 8/2010 (off BCP since 8/2009) Unexplained Infertility
12/10/2012 U/S #1 6w4d - heartbeat EDD 8/1/13
1/18/14 2:11am Abigial Morgan is here! 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches of pure cuteness!!!
This was kinda my husbands argument. In my case the post office was not crowded and the whole front is floor to ceiling windows so I would have been able to see the car the whole time. The package I was dropping off had a prepaid label on it so I did not have to pay any shipping costs. He was annoyed that I did not just run it in and back out - would have taken under a minute. I can logically understand his point of view but in the moment it just felt wrong becasue of all the "what ifs". His response was that I was being a little paranoid and despite all our best efforts there is never going to be a way to prevent everything that "could" happen. My response was simply "but I can prevent this."