October 2014 Moms

FTM: Is anyone freaking out a little?

I have been wanting a baby so badly and now we are pregnant. At first I was so happy and now that I've had time to let it sink in I am freaking out a little bit. Just thinking about the fact that our lives are going to change completely, we are going to be responsible for another human life, and that baby will be 100% dependant on the 2 of us... well, it's a little scary. Don't get me wrong, I thought about all of this before and I was fully prepared, but now I feel like a kid myself and I'm a little nervous about what we've gotten ourselves into.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has these irrational fears. And for all you moms out there that already have kids, do you have any words of wisdom/comfort?

Married: 7/9/11

TTC Since: 10/13

EDD: 10/29/14

Re: FTM: Is anyone freaking out a little?

  • I'm a BTDT mom, and I can say I certainly had those moments while pregnant with DS but once he was here, it was hard to imagine life without him.  Did my life change drastically?  Yep.  Did simple things I once took for granted become difficult or seem darn near impossible?  You bet.  And yet, it doesn't matter to me.  Having DS in my life is a million times better than all of the difficulties that come with it.  And those those things that I took for granted before like clothes shopping alone for example, I can still do them; I just appreciate them a lot more when I get the chance to experience them.

    So yeah, your feelings are totally normal.  Just hold on and enjoy the little things both before and after your LO arrives.  It's a fun ride.  I promise. :)

    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • Thanks for the feedback, ladies! I am beyond happy that this is happening for us there are just some times when my head gets the best of me and I get overwhelmed. I absolutely cannot wait for our baby boy to get here and I know my instincts will kick in. But it's nice to know I'm not totally crazy :)

    Married: 7/9/11

    TTC Since: 10/13

    EDD: 10/29/14

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  • When I was pregnant with DS, everything was fine & dandy, I knew I was going to have a baby, my house was full of baby stuff before he arrived. Then I started having contractions...holy moley! LOL I went to my doctors who checked me and told me I was 5cm...and that "we're having a baby today!" I immediately started crying b/c it hit me...a baby was coming. 

    It's totally normal to freak out...but you have plenty of time. Read all the "What to Expect" books, take your hospital classes. But just remember, your body will know what to do when it comes to L&D and soon after that, maybe not immediately, you will figure out how to take care of that baby without the nurses. But then the baby will grow and you'll get hit with all kinds of curve balls LOL. 

    Keep your sense of humor, laugh and remember your SO is there to help you, you're not in it alone :)

    Married July 2006

     MC Feb 2009 8 weeks

    MC Dec 2009 8 weeks

     MC Oct 2013 8 weeks

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  • I am a second time mom and I still have moments of panic and mostly over silly stuff. What if we have twin girls and my son feels left out?! What if we have boy/girl twins and the girl feels left out?! OMG what if its twin boys!!! It is going to be like raising a pack of stampeding elephants!!

    I always felt it was natural to worry. It is just a little taste of what it is like when they get here. Your mom instincts are kicking in!
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  • I'm a FTM. I wouldn't say I'm freaked out. The only thing I'm scared of is the actual birthing process, but once that's done, I'm totally cool with the idea of having/raising a newborn. I'm more nervous about when the child gets older and I have to start disciplining and teaching the kid to be a decent human being.
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  • I will be a FTM but this is my second pregnancy. And I must say if there is any bright spot in going to 20 weeks and having a loss it is that I don't feel scared or freaked out about anything other than the pregnancy. I feel ready and excited to have a child...both a newborn and especially an older child. 
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  • Yesss I'm freaking out like yourself!!! We planned this baby but the birthing process scares the crap out of me also I hear they don't sleep so that freaks me out a little . Those 2 things are what scares me . I'm afraid of the birthing being so painful it really does scare me but I'm so excited for my baby
  • Add me to the "totally freaked out" camp. I'm nervous about giving birth, but I am even more nervous about the life changes we'll experience. Luckily, we don't go out much so we won't really miss that, but I know we'll lose the convenience of being able to get up and go quickly. And, of course, money is a worry, even though we have enough in savings to last awhile! Obviously, this is normal, but big changes are still scary.
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    Me: 30 | DH: 4/12/85 - 6/16/14 | Quinn Patrick born 9/28/14
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  • I still sometimes can't believe we have a "baby" and my son is 2.5. I wouldn't say I was freaked out the first time, but it is definitely a lot to take in and process and to me almost surreal kind of thing.
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  • OF COURSE I'm freaking out! Aren't we all, even if it's only in the smallest sense? This is a HUGE change in our lives, even for those that have done this before! But what a beautiful change, what an amazing adventure we're about to go on. It's not going to be easy, but it will be totally worth it. (Sorry for the cheesy quote.)
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  • I'm a FTM too! The fear of having a problem with this pregnancy is what consumes me. I can't even worry about things after birth because I'm so scared of something happening. Ugh!

    I keep telling myself that the fear will get easier when the baby gets here, but I don't think parents ever stop worrying.
    ~First time mama, strikingly handsome husband, comedic pooch, krumpin' baby girl on her way~

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  • I'm not freaking out too much. But I've had several unexpected, difficult events to contend with over the past few years, so it's nice to have a challenge on the horizon that I know is coming, even if I don't know all the particulars of what to prepare for.
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  • I'm freaking out, I still feel like a kid, I'm a FTM and IT'S TWINS!!!! omggggg
  • The last 7 years I've nannied and getting pregnant I knew exactly what we were getting into. However many times I get really irrational thoughts and panic. Its natural. Change is scary regardless of what it is... but we adapt :)
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  • I have a 12mo old and more freaked out this time.. Guess I'll just figure out how to manage 2!
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  • I'll be 30 next month and I still feel like a kid. Hard to explain, but I've spent so many years trying NOT to get pregnant that I feel like I did something wrong. We were definitely trying to have a baby and are in a great place, so really there's nothing to be worried about in that area. Like you, I mostly worry about the responsibility of parenting a tiny person. I mean, 18 years is a long time, and that's just the period we're legally obligated to care for them! That's a lot of opportunities to mess up! When I get overwhelmed about how dependant a child is, I think about how I won't be in it alone. Hopefully you have family and friends that can help along the way.

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  • I think it's normal to freak out. When you have thoughts that you can't do it, think about all the people you know who have had kids and not totally screwed them up. I think of my parents. If they can do it, you can do it! And for fear of the actual birth, it obviously can't be too bad if so many people have multiple kids :) I remember a lot of my 20 month olds birthday, but I don't remember the bad parts as being so terribly bad. Vaginas and bellies heal :) for the most part. Usually. almost. Kind of :) you'll be fine.
    DD Caitlin 8/2012, m/c 8/2013, m/c 12/2013, Rainbow baby due 10/17/2014!!!
  • It is totally normal to get freaked out!  I feel like parenthood has to be about the biggest life change there is.  Even if you want it with everything you are it's still scary because there are so many unknowns.

    For me personally, I realized I am pretty worried about a) the pregnancy continuing and the health of the baby and b) childbirth.  However I am not freaked out about becoming a mother, having a newborn, older kid, etc etc.  I know it will be harder than I can even imagine right now but you know what?  Those are the challenges I want.  I am sure I have some freak out moments to come but I am ready to face those too.

    You can do it!  We all can.
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