Help! Anti-crib all of a sudden

jennifertewart

I know that most of us are over sleep posts so I have been resisting posting this but I just don't know what to do.

N has been a pretty average sleeper and seemed to be on his way to sleeping through the night consistently.  All of a sudden on Saturday night, he wont let us lay him down.  No matter how long we rock him or how asleep he is, as soon as I start the motion to lay him down he begins to squirm.

I have been convinced that he is gassy to teething and now I believe he is having sleep attachment issues.  DH really wants to let him CIO but I hate the idea of him crying alone in pain from teething or feeling abandoned.  I believe he is teething (drooling, EVERYTHING goes in his mouth, irritable, rubbing face when not tired, I think I see them? but don't really know what to look for) so I have been giving him tylenol at night but isn't making a difference.  After many attempts to lay him down, I always resort to sleeping with him on the couch.  The hardest part is that I have no support from DH.  All he wants to do is leave him to cry himself to sleep because that is what other people have done.  But like I said before, if N is having separation anxiety I do not want to just let him cry.

So I guess I am asking if this has happened to anyone else or what could possibly be the problem?  I guess today I am not going to let him nap on me and only in his crib and see how that goes.  TIA!

[Deleted User]

J has been the same way. He was doing awesome in his crib for past month- waking maybe 1 between 8 pm and 6 am. As of last week he is waking ALL the time again. He seems to be really uncomfortable and tossing and turning a lot. I let him fuss it out alone, but when he cry cries I get him. I just figure it's another growth spurt, teething etc and this too shall pass...right?

mwhipple77

This started happening in our house about a month ago.  I believe it was because of teething as her two bottom teeth have now popped through.  She had been STTN for about 3 weeks.  About a month ago, she started waking up anywhere between 9 and 12 and is impossible to put back down in her crib.  So I started bringing her back to bed with me.  She sleeps great the rest of the night.  

E is almost 5 1/2 months, and I feel too young to let her CIO.  I really enjoy the extra snuggles, so it doesn't bother me to have her in bed with us.  My DH is fine with her being in bed with us though, so it's helpful having his support.  He also doesn't want her to CIO.

No words of advice, but I understand what you are going through.  I figure (hope?) it's just another phase that babies go through and she will eventually get back to STTN in her crib.  And for now I'm going to enjoy all the snuggles.

cagoldi

No CIO. I don't like that H's reasoning is that other people have done it. Other people have spanked their kids and washed their mouths out with soap, that doesn't make it a good idea.

I get annoyed when I hear someone's H just wants to to leave the baby to cry alone. Everyone is exhausted, I get it, but you need a plan that works for everyone in the family, not just the adults. Tell your H how desperate you are feeling and that you have to come up with something that doesn't include CIO. Also, CIO does not mean you do one round of ST and he will magically STTN every night. You would likely end up doing it all over again when he has a tough time with teething, after illness or travel, while working on a new developmental milestone, etc.

It doesn't teach your LO to self-soothe, especially at this age. They do fall into a deep sleep after CIO but it's as a result of psychological trauma.

Bedshare if you like but sleeping with him on the couch is dangerous. If you want to bedshare do it safely.

We had a terrible time with sleep regression between several colds, the 4MW, and going swaddle-free cold turkey. We saw anywhere from 6-8 wake-ups each night for awhile. We moved a mattress into his room and would stay there after his first wake-up so we could settle him more easily.

Have your H help you so you can find time to squeeze in a nap or sleep in on the weekends.

We gradually got back to one MOTN feeding and then STTN a few nights a week.

I know it feels endless and it's enough to make you crazy, but it will eventually get better.

AlisonM12

Just throwing this out there, could he have an ear infection? I've heard that a lot of times that causes them to not want to be laid down flat.

cagoldi

AlisonM12 said:

Just throwing this out there, could he have an ear infection? I've heard that a lot of times that causes them to not want to be laid down flat.

This is a possibility. How is he acting when you lie him down @jennifertewart‌? When A had an ear infection he went down just fine but each time he rolled to his side and put pressure on his ear he would scream bloody murder.

jennifertewart

@AlisonM12 I have though about the ear infection, but I keep taking his temp and he doesn't have one.  Can they have ear infections without fevers?  And he hasn't had a cold in so long either.  I read that ear infections typically follow colds.

@cagoldi I do agree, I do not want to let him CIO.  I just wish DH would support me.  I guess if this continues I will just have to move into the guest room with him.  I don't trust bed-sharing with DH since he moves so much in his sleep and doesn't even realize when he crushes me.  I just have to maneuver so N doesn't realize that he is out of my arms.

I guess this is just a phase, I just felt like I was doing something wrong by holding him in my arms all night.  DH keeps saying I spoil him, but so be it if I am.  I will enjoy the cuddles in the meantime! Thanks!

mwhipple77

My mom made a comment about E being spoiled last weekend.  I told her if 'being spoiled' meant my child is loved and well taken care of, then yes, she is spoiled.  Give them all the cuddles!

cagoldi

Nope, not spoiling him. He wants to be close to you and you're meeting his needs. Babies need physical affection just like they need food and sleep. It's normal and healthy for them to want to be in close proximity to you.

It sounds like your instincts are spot on, so go forward confidently with the understanding that nobody else knows what N needs the way you do. Tell DH you need his support and explain to him why CIO is damaging.

Brew lots of strong coffee.

jennifertewart

cagoldi said:

Just throwing this out there, could he have an ear infection? I've heard that a lot of times that causes them to not want to be laid down flat.

This is a possibility. How is he acting when you lie him down @jennifertewart‌? When A had an ear infection he went down just fine but each time he rolled to his side and put pressure on his ear he would scream bloody murder.

It is really like he knows that he being laid down and hates it.  As soon as I stand next to the crib he starts squirming.  If I pull him back to my arms he is out like a light again but if I continue to lay him down he starts flailing his arms and rubbing his face.  I have tried touching his ears to see if it bothered him and he didn't seem to notice.  It is really like he just doesn't want to be away from me, which I guess isn't the worst thing! But I will still be on the lookout for an ear infection.

daniann333

We are in the same boat.  C will not sleep anywhere but with me.  We have a finished basement (thank God) and DH sleeps down there.  C and I co sleep in my room.  We still make sure that we have "adult time", but this is just the way it is.  I figure he will go to college one day and won't want to sleep in the same bed as him mom....lol.  For now, I just do what I have to do to make sure we all get some sleep.  Good luck, and your right....this too shall pass.

[Deleted User]

L won't sleep in his crib unless I move him to it after he has been asleep for more than 20 min. He used to sleep in the rnp or swing but is too big for them now so he goes to sleep laying next to me in bed then when he's out I move him.

Zilly13

I would suggest taking him into the pedi for an ear check just in case.  The few times my DD1 had them she didn't have a fever or a major cold.  The primary reason is that you indicated it happened all of a sudden.  Hope things get back to normal soon for you!

Mum2Be28

I haven't read the rest of the posts yet (but I'm going to). W is 6 months next week and I want to say he started doing this about 3 weeks ago? Time just all rolls together so I can't remember exactly. But he went from me being able to lay him down drowsy, but awake, to refusing to let me put him down. I started just rocking him completely to sleep and then after he was asleep rocking an additional 5 minutes or so. I laid him down very slowly and patted him or held his legs still if he started to stir. If he did wake I had to start over. He's fine now though and we are back to being able to lay him down drowsy.

I think our issue may have been related to teething/and/or transitioning him from swaddle to arms out.

He's been a pretty great sleeper all along so I can't get on board with the CIO- even at 6 months. I let him fuss a little but when it turns to cry I always go to him.

Mum2Be28

*snip snip*

It is really like he knows that he being laid down and hates it.  As soon as I stand next to the crib he starts squirming.  If I pull him back to my arms he is out like a light again but if I continue to lay him down he starts flailing his arms and rubbing his face.  I have tried touching his ears to see if it bothered him and he didn't seem to notice.  It is really like he just doesn't want to be away from me, which I guess isn't the worst thing! But I will still be on the lookout for an ear infection.


Ok this is what W has done too. Ill get him asleep rocking and then as soon as I stand and make my way toward the crib he will pop his eyes open. Or, ill lay him down and he will start flailing. I just experimented with how I had my hands positioned when I laid him down to move him as little as possible. I lay his head down first and then slowly the legs. I typically pat his bottom while holding him so I continue to pat as I lay down his rear end/legs. If he does start to flail I hold his legs still. This typically works but of it doesn't and he full out cries then I pick up and start over.

I think this phase only lasted about 2-3 weeks -- if that. Again it's hard to say- time just meshes together for me. But good luck! I hope your LO gets back on track soon!

jennifertewart

@Mum2Be28, I tried the head down first then legs... and it has really helped! Thank you!

1sloqwen

Our LO cut his first tooth so he wakes up once a night and then we give in and let him sleep with us. He is a lot more clingy but that doesn't bother us. As for the crib sleeping, we still aren't there yet. He is only comfortable in the pack n play. I've tried to have him nap in the crib to get use to it, but to no avail. As soon as I get up and walk 20 or so paces to the crib he rousts about and is wide awake.