Parenting after a Loss

Intro- sunshine mentioned

Hello. I've been lurking and the ladies on the Loss board recommended that I intro here.

So a little bit of info on our family. On March 15 my family was in a car accident. We lost ds due to placental abruption. He was 27 weeks. We also have an almost three year old dd.

We are trying to find our new normal without our son, Benjamin. Our dd is also struggling and has been acting out. Hitting us, crying fits that last half an hour, and using baby talk or mumbling when she can speak fine, etc. Is this normal? We have an appointment next Friday to help us figure out ways to help her cope. Any book suggestions in the mean time?
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Re: Intro- sunshine mentioned

  • I have no advice but wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.  Big huge hugs.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • Thank you, ladies. @ncchnat‌ we have that one and something happened. We really like the we were supposed to... So much that we want to offer some copies to our local hospital for other families who might need them.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

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  • Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, but it sounds like you are taking the right steps towards getting some help. (Hugs)
  • I am so very sorry for the loss of Benjamin. I am sure that you are all hurting, but it must be terrible to watch your daughter go through this. I hope that you are able to find some help to guide her through this difficult time. I also hope that you are able to to take the time you need to heal. You and your family will be in my prayers. (((HUGS))) to you all.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)


    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • I am so sorry for your loss!! My heart goes out to you. I have no advice but wanted to give you big ((hugs))
    As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen - Winnie the Pooh

    Married 8/22/09
    Pregnancy 1- EDD 11/21/10 NMC @ 6 weeks
    Pregnancy 2 - Rainbow DS born 1/15/11
    Pregnancy 3 - EDD 5/2/14 NMC @ 6 weeks 9/4/13
    Pregnancy 4 - EDD 6/11/14 BO @ 9 weeks D&C 11/8/13
     AF arrived 12/18/13
    BENCH IS BURNED 2/2014
    TTA until May/Jun
    WOW!!! I'm pregnant!!! BFP 6/8/14 Rainbow on the way EDD 2/14/15
    If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever -
    Winnie the Pooh

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet Benjamin. My heart is just breaking for you. I wish I had some advice, but I do think you are taking the right steps. Please know that we are all here for you, to support you in any way we can. Sending lots of prayers and big, huge, ((((HUGS)))) your way.

    You Made me a mommy... 

    Ticker id: ARvP

     Lilypie - (KAFM)

  • I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet Benjamin. When we lost our son, our DD was almost 5, so a little bit older. She went through a period of acting out as well where she wet the bed again, would talk baby talk, etc soon after our loss. We just let her talk about him as much as she wanted to, and made sure she stuck with her routine as much as possible. We also made sure we got in extra hugs and snuggles, which helped us as much as her.

    Huge hugs again, handling their grief as well as you own is so tough.
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