NWMR: IL vent

emberlee3

WHY are you complaining to me about your son's housekeeping and home maintenance skills/habits?  YOU raised him.  It was your job to teach him.  WTF.  Vent over.

chloebeth930

I always get the infamous, "I didn't raise my son to act like this." 

Well I didn't inherit him until he was 18 so ummm... ya you did.

SunAndRain

chloebeth930 said:

I always get the infamous, "I didn't raise my son to act like this." 

Well I didn't inherit him until he was 18 so ummm... ya you did.

haha!  My step-MIL said the same thing about her son!  I thought that was the oddest comment!  Sure she can't be held accountable for all his actions...but yes, SHE raised him and THIS is how he turned out!

Of course with mine it'll be different

fitmom82

I don't think that's fair.  When I get annoyed with DH about somethings and start to blame his parents, I think of his brother and they might be totally different in that regard.  Many adult siblings have a ton of different values or flaws, so you can't put it all on the parents. Even at 2 and 4 I see how different mine are, they have different temperments and personalities.  Although I'll raise them the same, they'll turn out very different.  If I followed my mother's advice I'd be totally OCD about cleanliness and putting everything away and in order.  I felt that growing up like that it was annoying, so I choose to live a little more laid back.

emberlee3

@fitmom82 there's a little backstory to my vent. DH did not do ANY chores when he was growing up.  None.  His "job" was to study.  His parents had never seen him wash a dish until he brought me to visit their home for the first time.  I automatically hopped up to wash the dishes after his mother made dinner.  He got up to help me.  Both his parents stood and stared with their mouths hanging open.

Avion22

Wow.   Not to brag, but this is why I'm SO GLAD that my husband WAS raised to help out around the house.  His parents did a great job making sure he knew how to do household chores.  I'm thankful every day for this.  

ss+el

As far as I can tell from the way his family works, my husband was also not raised to do most chores, though he does his share here. Sometimes when we go visit, his mother will expect him to fix something he knows nothing about, like a toilet that was improperly installed, even though he has zero experience and is terrible at assembling things, and she is surprised when he can't do it.

emberlee3

DH and his parents both told me that he never did chores. He helps with everything in our family, but he came to our relationship with zero knowledge of cooking, housekeeping, home maintenance, gardening, auto repair, etc. It would have been nice if his parents had taught him something about even one of those categories. But it really peeves me when they complain to me when they see him doing something "wrong."

DiveFrog

Well the grass isn't always greener. One of my biggest DH annoyances is that he knows how to fix and install and build everything and anything, which is great for us. BUT he also doesn't know how to say no. So, he is the one who ALWAYS gets the call to help his parents, my parents, his sister/BIL, his friends, his co-workers, his PARENTS friends (because they volunteer his services),and neighbors. He is "helping" someone do something at their house at least a 4-6 hours every single week.

emberlee3

Really my vent is not about my DH's lack of skills. It is about my ILs criticizing him (to me!) despite never actually teaching him any of those skills.