Taking a baby to a funeral

tondraluv

Ok I promise this is my last post.  Has anyone taken their little one to a funeral?  Brayden is a big "talker" and I could see him babbling during prayer or something.  Would it be inappropriate if we just sat the service out but went to the repast?  I feel like we need to pay our respects and I need to support my husband.  Finding a sitter in not an option because all my sitters will be at the services.  Any advice/suggestions, wwyd? 

Kate_C

We didn't take our kids to my H's grandpa's funeral because they're loud and can't sit still. But we also had daycare so it was NBD. Could your H go to the service without you and then you and B meet up with him later?

burneyonboard

I don't think it's disrespectful to hold out on the services but go to the repast. Or you could try to get him to sleep (keep him up during the day) or sit in the back of the service and sneak out if he starts getting fussy. Sorry for you and your family's loss. T+P your way.

TuckleUp

Kate_C said:

We didn't take our kids to my H's grandpa's funeral because they're loud and can't sit still. But we also had daycare so it was NBD. Could your H go to the service without you and then you and B meet up with him later?

This, or you could go together and if B is loud, you could excuse yourself until after the service. This is likely what I would do.

skidderdo

We brought Warner to my grandmother's funeral. My sister brought her toddler. You can always just quietly step out of the service if needed. I think the babies brought a bit of joy and a sense of the circle-of-life to an otherwise pretty depressing event.

nearly_klo

Sorry for your loss. Both of my grandmothers passed away in the last 6 months. We took both girls to the first one, and my 2 nieces were there too. My nieces are nearly 3 and 6 months old now. They did chatter briefly, it was NBD.
It even brought a brief smile to my cousins faces.
For the second one we each took the little, and booked the big girls in to some care. They squawked, noone cared. My gran loved the girls, she wouldn't have minded them making a noise - they are babies and know no better.
Distraction/occupation is key - something that will buy you even a minute or two.

AprilloMom

I agree that it will bring a bit of light and needed distraction to a sad time. You could sit in the back of the service and slip out if he gets upset. Take snacks...my squirmy son is great at being still if he has a snack to munch on. Sorry for your loss! 

minerswife17

I'm so sorry for your loss. We took DD to my sisters funeral, and she behaved sooooo well. We were at the viewing from 1-8 but brought her home for about an hour and a half to eat and nap, and then went back. The day of the funeral, she was just as good. I was worried she was going to cry and run to me while I gave my eulogy, but she was great. I think she could sense everyone emotions and she knew something was wrong. She didn't cry one time, either day.

Also, I think she really helped everyone and was a little bit of sunshine on such a hard couple days. 

24ladybug

I took Ashley to my great aunts service last week. She was amazing. Yes she babbled when everyone was praying but everyone loved having her there.
I sat at the edge so I could leave if needed but she was so good I didn't.
Plus I asked my grandfather and he said to bring her she will make everyone smile.
So I vote to take the kiddo and he will spread smiles.

love4b

B came with us to my husband's mom's funeral when she was two months old. She was fine and actually was a real light for so many of my husband's family and friends. When she got fussy at the reception, more than a few older women just about sprinted over to us and asked/demanded to hold her. It was actually a really sweet thing on a really sad day. 

I was unsure whether she should wear black or not, and ended up putting here in a really nice light pink and cream floral dress, which I think made her stand out as a kind of light amidst the darkness even more. Funerals are rough, but I know your husband will be happy that you and Brayden are there for him.

JSS1002

mrandmrsk91011 said:

From a pastor's perspective - Brayden is an important part of your husband's grandmother's legacy and I hope that he would be welcomed at an event that not only mourns her death but celebrates her life. I always tell parents of young ones that they are welcome to have their children participate as fully as they can and that the noises kids make during church are holy. But, as a mom myself, I completely understand being uncomfortable when baby/toddler gets fussy and know that sometimes mom or dad want to take them out for a break for a few minutes.

Thats my shpeel for Sunday's, weddings, and funerals.

My kid is usually the loudest and she likes to crawl/walk up the aisle to visit me during church so thats just how we roll, hehe.

Prayers for your family during this time.

I really enjoyed reading this perspective

pinottoparenthood

So sorry your family is going through this.

BellaBean76

Sorry for your loss. I agree to take him. I took G for my grandmothers funeral and my mom was very happy to have her there even though she was being a bit loud during the eulogy;)

vthokie317

A friends dad's lifewas taken a few months back. We brought Scarlett because we didn't have an options for babysitting. She was only 5 months old. She did make a few noises and at one point I walked out during the ceremony (and eventually back in). Overall she was/is a good baby. We did have many people that actually thanked us after the service for bringing her because she was representing the happier side of life. I think if your baby is halfway good they can be as therapeutic as a dog during a big tragedy.

tondraluv

Yes thank you @mrandmrsk91011‌ I loves seeing it from a Pastor's perspective. Thank you all

MKC12/22/2006

We've had two funerals since L was born. For both, we brought him to the prayer service/visitation, which is a much more social time. We didn't bring him to the actual funeral because he is ridiculously loud in church.

08summerbride

We took both of our kids to my mother in law's funeral. It was out of town, so a baby sitter wasn't really an option.  I had lots of snacks and he did get fussy at one point and I just got up and took him outside.