Clothing gift in wrong size — The Bump
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Clothing gift in wrong size

If someone buys you clothing in the wrong size do you tell them or just deal with it on your own?

I may have posted about this in a randoms a while back, but I was curious what you all think. I feel like my MIL is having a passive aggressive war on me. She always buys me a small. I wear an XL. Anyone with eyes can tell its the wrong size. She's always like, "Tell me if it's the wrong size and I can exchange it." I generally just donate the clothes because 1. I don't necessarily like them anyway. 2. She buys places I can't easily get to in order to exchange them myself.
3. I somehow feel like it might be rude of me to ask her to exchange them. And mainly 4. I feel like she is just waiting for me to say, "Hey, I just realized I'm fat." What say you?
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Re: Clothing gift in wrong size

  • I would have DH remind her of your proper size before your next bday or holiday. If she still buys the wrong size id just donate.
    Mil doesn't really buy me clothes, usually gift cards, but she buys the kids stuff all the time. It's generally the correct size but sometimes I just don't need any more clothes for the current season, so I have no problem exchanging. She always gives a gift receipt though so it's easy.
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  • Dh's family is very anti gift receipt. Not just for me, but for the kids too. It's annoying. How hard is it to include a gift receipt? I think it's awkward to have to go to someone and ask for a receipt. 

    As for the very obvious size issue, I would have dh give her your real size on the next holiday.

     





    ~Mama to two daughters and baby #3 coming soon~
  • I'd have DH address not only the sizing issue, but the passive-aggressive disrespect issue.

    lala5507[Deleted User]discobelle
  • My aunt used to do that to me as a teen, she would buy an 8 or 10 after being told that I was a 0 or 2. It got really annoying so I started getting my mom to buy their family obviously wrong sizes as well. We did always give a gift receipt.
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  • If this is the only P/A thing she does, I probably would not make it my hill to die on and just donate. However, if she does a lot of that crap, I would make DH deal with her. I just don't understand not including gift receipts, we always do but rarely seem to get them, especially not from the IL's and not for gifts for DS
  • Just come out with it! It sounds like it's a frequent enough thing that "I hereby through the power of The Bump give you permission to use a little snark" to say "Hey, this is the wrong size, I know these clothes are spendy, but they're always the wrong size and can I either get a gift receipt in the future or just a gift card to purchase something that'll fit and is more my style." (notice - not a ???, but a ".")... I'd rather have someone be honest with me when there's an issue than ignore confronting it. Granted, I don't buy clothes unless it's for kids and I'm always aware of the family's lifestyle and preferences before I do it because it was annoying as heck the first years of DD's life to constantly get gifted hand-me-down clothes that didn't fit and WERE NOT even close to fitting our lifestyle... When I finally confronted it, the issues pretty much resolved themselves... 

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  • If you don't want to tell her and the tags are still attached to the clothing, some stores will give you store credit without receipt.  That's what I have done in the past.  That's assuming you know where she got it.
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  • MIL does this all.the.time.

    She offers to exchange if its the wrong size.
    If its clothes for me, they are usually NMS and not my size.

    The stuff she buys for DH is often not HIS style.

    And what she buys for DSs she usually buys sizes equivalent to their current age, which is too small for both of them.

    I've asked her to not buy me clothes, but a gift card instead. She still buys the kids clothes.

    She offers to exchange if its wrong. I quit asking for mine to be exchanged because it just gets exchanged for uglier clothes.
    The kids' stuff just takes 3 months to get it.

  • I don't want sound ungrateful, but we had DDs bday party Sunday and pretty well everyone asked us beforehand, what size clothes to buy for her. I said "12-18 would be great by the time the weather warms up she'll be ready for that size" well...... All the clothes were either 12 month or 24! Why do some people even ask?? Lol oh well it's the thought that counts right?!?!
  • Ugh. Luckily MIL doesn't really buy me clothes (she considers it too boring of a gift). She gets DD stuff when it's on sale and presumably too big for DD, holds onto it, and then gives it to us when it's either too small or when it's the wrong season and will be outgrown by the next time it's wearable. Then she says "it's probably too late to return, but let me know if it doesn't fit and I can probably give it to someone else.... or do you want to hold onto it for 3 years when the baby you're expecting will be that size and I can get something else for her.". Or well I got this months ago (when there was no gift giving occasion around), meaning to give it to her right away (why? It's not a gift giving time?) And then we didn't see you for soooooo long (reproachful looks) so bow it may be too small...

    She often misplaces things. She also never gives gift receipts, I'm not sure if it's because of the losing things issue or if she just *has* to know if something is being returned. She likes to guilt family members into doing what she wants them to do, and I'm getting sick and tired of it! (She cries at the drop of a hat to get my FIL and DH to do her bidding. I'm so over it.)

    I guess I'd have DH tell her your size and/or before the gifting occasions launch into some monologue about how I just have sooo many clothes, I need a bigger closet, etc. Maybe she'll take the hint?
  • I'm glad I'm not alone, but I guess I'm not glad there are so many passive aggressive relatives out there. She's not passive aggressive in general, so I don't know what the deal is here. I will have to see if I can work something into conversation or have DH say something. This is why I don't buy other people clothes.
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  • Google the barcode. This tells you what store she got it from so you can return it. If it really bothers you have dh talk to her about your size or suggest a gift or ask if she wants to contribute to x,y, and z. Maybe he could tell her that all Irish wants is a night out, can you watch the kids so we could go....
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  • Omg!!
    @dmurrie reminded me,... MIL 'misplaces' stuff ALL.THE.TIME!!!!

    She just gave me several pairs of pants and shirts that she bought before Christmas (on clearance) for DS1. It barely fits him now, and will be packed up in a couple weeks because it will be too small.
    She expects he will wear 24 month clothing this fall, but he's wearing it now.
    So,... He will get lots of stuff too small for his birthday and Christmas. Sigh....

  • My MIL got me size M workout clothes two Christmases ago. I was 6 months pg at the time. I kept them (with tags as gift receipts attached), and they finally fit now.

    Last Christmas she bought me size S. I was still a L then, am maybe a M now, and will probably never be a S. I don't know what to do with the clothes. They have gift receipts attached, but it's a lot of work to get to the store with kids to exchange/return.

    I think my mil just genuinely thinks I'm smaller than I am. And I have a feeling she doesn't want to hurt my feelings by buying something too big.

    I guess I'd either ask her to exchange them once or just donate.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Kimbus22 said:

    I usually just donate/give away if I don't get a gift receipt.

    God I'm glad my MIL doesn't give clothes.  DH told her flat out as a teenager that if she bought him clothes as a gift, he would always return them and she might as well just give him the cash and save him the trip to the store lol.  She listened.  She buys clothes for Joey but calls to ask his size before she shops.

    As teenagers, my sister and I would pick out new clothes, and my mom would save some to give us for Christmas/ Birthdays a few weeks later. It was always fun since we'd forget what we picked out, and we always got clothes we liked.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
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