April 2014 Moms
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Easter lunch - what would you do? (long, sorry!)

Hi everybody. I am a FTM, at 39+3, due on the 18th.

It seems like nothing is moving, so I am pretty sure my LO won't be here for at least another week.
Anyway. I don't really know what to do for Easter. At this point you all know how a woman feels at 39 weeks pregnant. My main problem is low BP. If I stand too long, I have to lay down on my left side. When I have lunch or dinner, I get queasy and have again to lay down. I have short spurts of energy, when I try to do as much as possible in terms of housework or groceries, or getting things ready for LO. Luckily husband is very helpful.
For Easter (which is 2 days after my due date), I told my mom, who lives about 1 hour away, that I won't be there, since I don't feel comfortable being in the car for that long.
So, my BIL has booked a lunch at a fancy restaurant, and MIL is all happy that husband and I will go to the restaurant with them and SIL. I have tried to explain that I am not comfortable sitting for too long, and that if my BP gets low I have to lay down, but nobody seems to care. Husband said that in the worst case, he can take me home before lunch has ended.

I am a bit bummed, since if MIL wanted to be with us, we could have Easter lunch at her place, where I'd feel much more comfortable. She is always complaining she never has chance to cook for us! I feel it's a bit egoistical from MIL and BIL to expect me to be there at the restaurant for what will be at least 3 hours. Not to mention at this point I am not appreciating food that much, it's just a matter of surviving until delivery! I understand husband would be happy to have lunch with them, but would feel bad if he had to go alone (and I'd feel bad sending him alone too!)

I don't know... am I too whiny? Should I just see how I feel that day and leave the restaurant if I feel sick, or just opt out and send husband alone?
What would you do?

 

Re: Easter lunch - what would you do? (long, sorry!)

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    Wait to see how you feel.
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    pineconey said:

    I'd wait and see. I stopped making solid promises to people around 38w and just do what I can. Some days I feel unexpectedly awesome, others I feel horrible. One day at a time....

    This exactly. I never guaranteed anything more than an hour in advance in the last few weeks.
    Double ditto.
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    pineconey said:
    I'd wait and see. I stopped making solid promises to people around 38w and just do what I can. Some days I feel unexpectedly awesome, others I feel horrible. One day at a time....
    Same. I'd tell them not to count on me being there. Some days it's all I can do to get dressed, let alone leave the house. Reasonable people will understand!

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    Yea I agree with everyone else. See how you feel that day and go from there. I am being induced tomorrow and already told my SIL not to expect us at their Easter dinner on Sunday. If I feel great and baby is doing well then we might go to surprise them but in no way was I going to tell them we're going and get their hopes up!

    They were disappointed but have already said that they're going to pack up a ton of leftovers and have MIL deliver them so at least they're being understanding and supportive.

    I've learned to speak my mind around the inlaws and not beat around the bush. Has made life much easier and our relationship stronger.
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    Brigie029Brigie029 member
    edited April 2014
    I would let them know that you can't make it, in my humble opinion. Honestly, I'm only at the tail end of 37 and I can't imagine doing anything let alone two weeks from now. I had a similar situation with a family member trying to make plans with us but on their schedule and not really getting it, so I cried pregnancy and said I wasn't going and sorry it didn't work out. End of story. I'm usually the extreme opposite and want others to feel comfortable but you have to do what's best for you and plus, you want to relax and be comfy and it doesn't sound like they are hearing you. Bottom line, apologize and say see you next year at Easter ;-).
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    Ehhhh......you're being kind of whiny. There is no reason why you would need to be at a restaraunt for three hours, and if you don't feel well they would understand if you had to leave early. And your mil doesn't owe it to you to have a meal at her place just because you're pregnant. Besides, your original plan was to visit your family, your backups shouldn't have to make arrangements just for you. I don't mean to be harsh, I have low blood pressure and I know how you feel. EVERYTHING is exhausting. But make going to this thing a priority. If you wake up that morning and feel like hell don't go. But there's no need to decide almost a week before that you can't do it.
     






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    I'm due 4/16, but we're currently scheduled to have early Easter dinner at a restaurant with my family very close to home if I'm still pregnant. I know my MIL will have something to say about us not being with DH's family (everything is a competition to her of us picking one over the other), but I'm not traveling the hour and a half during a holiday to probably sit in traffic as well. If I don't feel well or if I have the baby we will stay home and if people want to visit AFTER they have Easter lunch/brunch/dinner then come on by! I can send DH to maybe get a cake & ice cream for dessert and coffee if people want to come by.
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    I don't see the big deal with them wanting to go out. And you are due two days before Easter - what if MIL planned to make a big dinner at her house to accommodate you and you end up having your LO and can't be there? Just like I think it's fair for you to be noncommittal at this point in PG I would not expect the family to make plans specifically to accommodate you either as you have only about a 50/50 chance of being there.

    So in your shoes I would just say I will be at lunch if I can. DH seems prepared to take you home early if necessary, or if you are not feeling great that day he can go without you altogether.

     

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    See how you feel but don't fret over it. On a side note have you tried a glass of OJ if you get a sudden dip in BP? I've had really low BP all my life and that's been recommended often by drs along with constant balanced snacking. Just some ideas to hopefully make your last days better :)
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    I am not in any way expecting MIL to arrange a lunch just b/c I am pregnant - but surely her place is more comfortable than a restaurant! She is so tired, lately, b/c she is in full nesting mode, just like my husband (I guess she wants her house to be perfect for LO :) ) that I understand her wanting to relax to a nice meal she doesn't have to cook.

    I guess I am just afraid people won't believe if I am too sick to go, or if I have to leave early, but the best I can do is wait for the day and see, as you all suggested and husband said too. Besides, BIL was smart enough to book for five but tell the owner that we could be between 3 and 5 people that day :).

     

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    mrsB68 said:
    See how you feel but don't fret over it. On a side note have you tried a glass of OJ if you get a sudden dip in BP? I've had really low BP all my life and that's been recommended often by drs along with constant balanced snacking. Just some ideas to hopefully make your last days better :)
    Thanks for the suggestion - I'll try. I usually err on the side of salty snacks when I feel awful, just like 3-4 small salty things (yesterday I bought cashews and had 6-7 of them). I find the salty snack works in about 10 minutes.

     

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    chirico3 said:
    mrsB68 said:
    See how you feel but don't fret over it. On a side note have you tried a glass of OJ if you get a sudden dip in BP? I've had really low BP all my life and that's been recommended often by drs along with constant balanced snacking. Just some ideas to hopefully make your last days better :)
    Thanks for the suggestion - I'll try. I usually err on the side of salty snacks when I feel awful, just like 3-4 small salty things (yesterday I bought cashews and had 6-7 of them). I find the salty snack works in about 10 minutes.
    Protein like nuts work fairly well but for a quick recovery from BP drop you definitely need some fast acting sugars, followed by some protein. 
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    I'd start the day with a salty breakfast since blood pressure is lowest in the morning. You'll be less inclined to back out because you don't feel well. I usually have a can of soup for breakfast, and I function so much better.
     






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    Make a game-time decision.  You might feel great (and even want an excuse to get out of the house and do something), or you might feel awful.  Or you might be in the hospital having a baby by then :-)

    Let her know that you plan to go, but that you may end up staying home or leaving early if you don't feel up to it on the day of.  
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    Wait and see.  With this pregnancy (granted I delivered early so I wasn't huge yet) I drove 4.5 hours to my niece's birthday party 5 days before I delivered.  Last pregnancy I did the same drive for my nephew's birthday 2 days before I delivered.  Honestly, 2 days before delivery both times I felt just fine and it was nice to get out before being stuck at home with a newborn. 

    Why would you have to be there all 3 hours anyway? Why not go and just plan on coming home if you feel badly?

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    Why would you have to be there all 3 hours anyway? Why not go and just plan on coming home if you feel badly?
    That's usually how long lunches at restaurants last here (at least)... I could go home earlier anyway, it's not like they'll tie me to the chair :) !

     

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    I'd start the day with a salty breakfast since blood pressure is lowest in the morning. You'll be less inclined to back out because you don't feel well. I usually have a can of soup for breakfast, and I function so much better.
    Never tried this, I'll give it a try!

     

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    Oh right you're in . . . Italy?
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    Oh right you're in . . . Italy?
    Yes, where the sun shines, food is great, and holiday lunches last 3-5 hours

    :))

     

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