Overbearing Grandmothers -_-

CopleyCarrier

SO and I recently shared the exciting news with my mother that we are expecting! Upon telling her, she became so excited and we immediately went to look at baby neccesities, which was great bonding time. Now a week has passed and I understand she wants to be apart of her grandchilds life but she has invited herself to our first ultrasound. Did you all have your mothers present at your first ultrasound? I feel like the first ultrasound is a time for SO and I to take a step closer to our baby and should be shared privately between the 2 of us, and of course I'll call our families and share pictures/videos . Apart from that my mother has also invited herself into the delivery room, which really hit a nerve with SO. I want my mother to be close by but not in the delivery room, what are your views?

CopleyCarrier

Bump

CopleyCarrier

Bump help!

dholsapp

I'd be more inclined to answer if I had given birth to my son, but since I didn't and felt so incredibly honored to have his birth mom ask me to be there for every single ultrasound and in the delivery room with her, I feel I may not be the best to answer... plus no Zayn. I might even settle for shirtless Michael Bolton on this one.

dholsapp

Just kidding! We never settle for shirtless Michael Bolton around these parts!

zandriafaye

Say no. You love her support but not so much you're being smothered and made uncomfortable by it.
Boundaries and communication are healthy things.

hopanka

Yes, my mom was at my ultrasound and I loved it. I'm very close to her. She opted out of the delivery room, but was the first visitor after I gave birth.

Amee12

My mother mentioned to DH that she wanted to go to the US and she keeps making comments about delivery. We're due in February so I have a few months to figure out. But what DH told mom was "if your daughter wanted you there, she would've invited you and this is a very special time for us and that we'd call her first and come show her the US. This worked and she realized she was imposing on our special day.

silverwings72

DH and I were at our first ultrasound since it was with the wand. Not exactly appropriate place for my mother. My mom will be in my delivery room, however when baby comes.

bohemianlc

There's really no "right" answer because every woman has a different idea of how she wants the birth experience to be. I'm very close with my mother, but DH and I wanted to be the only two present when our son was born, and I'm glad we followed through with doing things how we had imagined them. You're not being a jerk by wanting to be alone with your husband at your ultrasound and in the delivery room, but you need to be honest with your mom sooner rather than later, IMO. 

nbf7

My mom was in the delivery room with me and turned out to be a huge support.My husband got all panicky when he saw in how much pain I was so my mom relaxed him which worked out perfectly for me ;;)

hetispagetti

Only me and my oh was at the scan! I didn't want anyone else there as I would always feel like I left someone out (my dad, my mil and siblings.) At the birth I'm having my oh and my mum there by my choice! If you don't want her there then you need to have a word with her! When you are pregnant people will always have views on everything and feel it's ok to share them with you....it's up to you how you handle them!

savvychas

My mother tried the same thing and i couldn't even imagine my mother being in there she would be yelling at dh or the dr. No way you can turn her down gently that is a time for you and SO.