April 2014 Moms
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Invasion of the inlaws

Anyone else being driven crazy? I try my best to appreciate their help but they have taken over my house! They seem to think they are in charge of my 2.5 year old because I'm busy recovering from my csection and nursing my newborn! I appreciate the extra help but they need to show me some respect! They are awesome at cooking, cleaning etc but they also constantly bend my rules, talk about me in front of me in another language, and don't ask how I'm doing at all.

Anyone else want to vent?
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Re: Invasion of the inlaws

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    Oh dear!  That sounds awful.  So sorry.  
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    When my FIL was over here for the first week, I was ready to ring my own neck. he was non stop giving me his amazing advice on how this child should be raised. he was awful, if the baby sneezed he would like 20 illness that cause sneezing or any other little thing my son did. I understand why he was doing it but my god. Enough was enough.
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    ksulliksulli member
    edited April 2014
    My MIL is acting like a toddler. DH told FIL on Thursday want we might invite them for dinner on Saturday because my parents and his brother would be here, but we'd wait to see how I'm doing. I told DH that was wishful thinking.

    So Saturday comes, and I'm not up to host a dinner party for 7 (shocking at 6 days pp), and he calls to say it's a no-go at 3pm. MIL was all put out because she'd been told "to keep the day open". Uuum, no, you were told *maybe* we'll have you for dinner, *if* your 6 day PP DIL can handle it.

    the ILs usually watch DD1 on Wednesday, so I called MIL on Monday to talk about what we'd do this week since my mom is down to help. No answer. Tried the house, no answer, sent a text. No call back. So I called again on Tuesday, spoke with FIL who said we can keep DD. I invited them to come play for the afternoon and stay for dinner to see both grandchildren, and I get, "oh, we were going to head into NYC for the day. We'll let you know". 9am Wednesday, "yeah, we'll come over around 3:30".

    what, you didn't get your way on Saturday so you want to essentially take your toys and go home? Get over yourself. You have no 'right' to come to my house when I'm recovering and establishing BFing. I know it's your grand kid, but it's my vagina and boobs.

    I'm SUPER excited to see them in a few hours.
    that feels better- thanks! Good luck with your ILs.
    *Married 10.10.08*
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    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
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    Mine just left town after visiting a week! WOOHOO!!
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    This is why MIL is not invited to stay with us right after dd is born. She would just gossip about me in another language and try to bribe my toddler and hold the baby constantly. Luckily she hasn't offered to visit anyway
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    Mine live here...so while they can go home to their house, I am afraid they are going to turn up randomly - esp MIL as she doesn't work.  DH says they won't, we will see.  I feel like MIL already has had boundary issues with this pregnancy.  She touches my belly without asking - fine whatever - but then appologizes for doing it, says she won't do it again - and then does....

    We went away with them after Christmas for a week and while DH was showering and FIL was hiking, she asked me - over breakfast mind you - how long we had to try to get pregnant...UM NOYB and that's TMI for me to share with you....

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    My mil decided to text fil ( they are divr ed) that my husband and I weren't doing well. Bitch- I just had a baby, was induced due to severe pre- eclampsia, almost had to have a blood and platelette transfusion, baby was in the nicu for 12 days and I spent my days there after I was discharged. You told us Tuesday that you were flying in on Thursday. Drove myself in to the ground, had to clean my house and entertain her after she insisted on coming a week after she was birn( and still in nicu) oh and did I mention that my husband is deploying three weeks after she was born. So I'm sorry that tensions were fucking high while you were here for your visit. Fuck in laws all together
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    my il's are only welcome for  the afternoon to meet him and then they will be sent home. My parents will come for a few days when DH goes back to work. I'm so irritated with my IL's already that i've refused to see them until after the baby is born. 
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    OP, at least they are giving you some help. My MIL lives a mile away and she's pretty much completely abandoned me this entire pregnancy. Never returns my calls, never calls to see how I'm doing, never helps me out with anything.

    Am I evil for feeling like I want to do the same thing to her after the baby arrives and she suddenly descends on us? I feel like I never want her to watch the baby, out of spite, but also because she is resentful of her other DIL and gets pissy about watching the kids, so I don't want to depend on her so she can talk shit on me to my SIL, like she has done with me.

    I wish my family lived here because they would actually provide me with a little moral support and help.
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    Have to join this conversation: I had my 7 year old son before me and DH got together. Since then, he has adopted DS. The IL's do not treat him badly, but they make no effort to see him or be part of his life. Every time we have asked them for help with him, they have flaked on us at the last minute causing us to cancel our plans. Now they have wanted to come to the hospital and our house every day to see their first "natural" born grandchild, and I have called bullshit on that. There is no way you are making the 7 year old feel like shit and coming every day to visit the newborn. They will have the same amount of contact with the newborn that they have had with DS #1 the last six years...very little!
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    @Abcollins57‌ good for you!! My stepfather's parents never treated my brother and I like my half sister (their "blood" and it always hurt. Don't out up with that BS!!

    Ladies, i am losing my mind with my inlaws here! They are finally leaving tomorrow! Yesterday they took my son (2.5) to the children's museum while I was napping without telling me. My husband lost it on them.

    Also does anyone else with a second+ baby fund the grandparents uninterested in the little one? They are annoying me on so many levels! I had a special plate set tucked away to give my son as a potty training incentive and they found it in the cupboard and gave it to him this morning!! And they told my husband they are mad at me for not putting any pics of them on Facebook. Give me a BREAK! I am 7 days postpartum and adjusting to life with two and I don't have time for that kind of pettiness. Please send me strength to get through the next 24 hours without tearing out my own hair! They have completely taken over my house and have no boundaries!! I basically stay up in my room with Leo all day recovering from my csection and they never ask how we are doing. I can't wait for my mom to arrive on Sunday, who will actually help with good intentions! End rant. Sorry just had to vent!
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