November 2012 Moms

feeling the SAHM pain

the pain that comes with realizing the more you do the more is expected of you, and feeling like the work and time you put into everything is very under appreciated.

NOW I may have an opportunity to work PT with the glimmer of a full time management position as an outcome and he is very warm cold about the idea of me working...which also makes me wonder if its worth it to be out of the house..... so many things to think about... and all I really want is a thank you and for him to come home and focus on HER......baseball season or not

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Re: feeling the SAHM pain

  • __vent over__
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  • It sucks that you feel that way about Staying at home. Raising a child is a team effort. Not all men act like that so maybe you need to sit him down and have a long talk about expectations. 
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  • I totally get it.  I'm not a SAHM, but when DD was born DH and I had some major arguments about how things should get done at home.  It also sounds like you have some thinking about with the possible PT work.  
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  • I'm sorry you feel this way. I know that I am very blessed to have DH that involves K in every thing that he can. Tonight, "they" washed the motorcycle; K played in the water. If he has an errand to run, she goes with him. I usually have SD at home due to homework reasons. If she is done, they all go.

    As for housework, maybe try saying something but be gentle. He may not realize what is happening. You are both getting used to the situation still. Like @persephonerose‌ stated, have a talk about expectations.

    As for the job, I think it would do you good to get out of the house. You strike me as a social butterfly (sorry if I am picking up the wrong vibe). It makes you no less of a parent if you want to work. It may also help you get out of your roomie situation sooner.

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  • Oooof. I'm happy you vented because it sounds like you need to and this vent seems very well deserved.

    As a working mom who feel intense guilt every morning I leave the house...and spends most of my days feeling like I completely underserve my daughter, I have to say the idea of coming home and zonking out to baseball is just unthinkable. I mean, I'm not against me time for your DH or anything, but I figure I see LO for an hour in the morning about 2-3 hours at night if I get home on time. Some days I only see her an hour and when I travel for work I miss her for days. If you think your DH isn't spending enough time with her then, he likely isn't - which is a shame. She is going to pass through your home faster than he can fathom. He needs to get as many good bits as he can while she's here. AND - she needs him too.

    Anyway, sorry to hear you are having a frustrating time. 
  • Thanks for all the replies. It was a bad couple days ... and I needed to vent. I actually feel very lucky in the DH dept... he does alot. We had the talk about finding the right balance and sammie's needs and all is good... as far as working...I love being home with LO and am happy to be with her... but pretty sure I'll be working before too long...if only to better our living situation.
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