April 2014 Moms

Getting sad

It's been almost 2 weeks since our LO was born. My parents flew in from FL the night before her birth and will be leaving tomorrow. My DH just moved to MO March 1st and we are in the sticks. I hate it here and feel sooo far from everything and especially family, which I am very close to. I am getting really sad and cry every time I think about having to say good bye to my parents tomorrow. My husband is at work all day and it will just be me and my baby home, who I love to pieces!! I guess I am just going to feel overwhelmed because I've had SO MUCH help- my mom has been getting up with me at all hours of the night to help with feedings and changings and calming our daughter when she is fussy at 3am. Now, I am on my own! DH will be able to help more on weekends, but he works all day and needs his sleep.

Plus, we are new to this area and only here until end of Oct (thank goodness) and we are literally in the middle of nowhere and it's kind of a depressed town. We are temporarily here for his work only. But, when we move in Oct there is talk we may have to go to CA now...even further away!! I just feel so alone :o(  I've always hated being far from my family but was able to deal with it. Now, it's even harder (on both ends), this is the first grandchild and they are hating to say goodbye tomorrow as well.
Lilypie - Eu0n
BFP: 12/3/15     EDD: 8/11/16     IT'S A BOY!!!
MAXIMUS POWERS   8♥5♥16
 
Lilypie - pXE7
BFP: 8/5/13      EDD: 4/13/14     IT'S A GIRL!!!      
AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

Re: Getting sad

  • (((Hugs))) I know, it sucks. We had just moved to upstate New York when my first one was born. It was the most miserable place ever, I knew no one, and we had to be there for three years. You don't know what it's going to be like once your parents leave, once you establish a routine it may not be so bad. And just because people aren't physically THERE doesn't mean that they aren't there when you need them.
     






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  • Do you have any way to set up Skype?  My sister has an account (she lives 14 hours away from all of us), so she and our parents have daily skype sessions.  It's comforting even if you don't do a lot of talking, to know that your support system is just right there.  (or of course you can facetime often)
  • So sorry. I am so glad we moved back to where my family is before we had our baby. That would be very hard. Im sure in a few days you will get in the flow with u our baby and it will be just fine. Happy thoughts your way!
  • <--- in Ca! (Not the pretty part though)
  • Thanks all... we have Skype all set up & trips planned from now until end of summer so that we see each other as often as possible. It just still stinks :o( Whenever I see my family I always have a hard time saying goodbye. But, now it is so different with a baby.... I want her to grow up around her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I pray that by time she understands and by time we have more kids we will be closer. At this time in my DH's career we have to move around alot and I was OK with it at first but now it sucks. Our last rotation with his job was in Charlotte and I loved it there. It wasn't too far from my fam in FL, was a great area and lots to do and I had some friends there. Now, I am in the middle of nowhere- it takes 45min to get to a mall, a Target or anything I would want to be at. And the airport is 2hrs away which makes it tough to travel. I just pray the time goes by fast here and that our next move is somewhere better and closer or more easily accessible to family. I've never felt so isolated in my life. :o(
    Lilypie - Eu0n
    BFP: 12/3/15     EDD: 8/11/16     IT'S A BOY!!!
    MAXIMUS POWERS   8♥5♥16
     
    Lilypie - pXE7
    BFP: 8/5/13      EDD: 4/13/14     IT'S A GIRL!!!      
    AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

  • This sounds so much like me with dd1. We had just moved a month before her birth from Boston where I was 7 miles from one sister, and 5 from the other, 45 min from my parents, and I had a handful of good friends around. We landed in suburban NJ, I didn't know anybody and didn't know my way around, so I didn't even make grocery runs without DH.

    I second (or fifth) the point to get your DH involved, even if he has to go to work, he can have interrupted sleep. Also tell your OB and be on the lookout for PPD.

    Find the library in town/the county and start going to story hour- LO is too young to enjoy it, but maybe you'll meet someone, and if nothing else it's some social interaction. If your religiously inclined find a parish/temple/whatever and join a group there. Even ask your OB if they know of a moms group.
    *Married 10.10.08*
     image
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
  • Thank you all for your support and advice! I've looked for any sort of mommy and me type things and there is literally nothing. This little town is depressed and most moms are 16 here, I look like a grandma at 34 here! The nearest town with civilization is about 40ish min away, I suppose I could check there even if I made a once a week trip down. Also, I do plan on getting back into the gym when I am feeling better (recovering from c-section)... I am actually a fitness instructor too but had to stop teaching a few months ago when I started having complications I had to stop. I am hoping to maybe pick up a class or two and just start working out on my own to start working out again and get those positive endorphin's going. I am trying to keep a positive mind, but when I stop and think about it I just cry...

    I am worried about PPD, I don't know if that is what is happening, or if I just am sad. What signs do I look for? My next OB/GYN follow up is 5/8 so I can see how I feel by then because I should be adjusted to normal life again.
    Lilypie - Eu0n
    BFP: 12/3/15     EDD: 8/11/16     IT'S A BOY!!!
    MAXIMUS POWERS   8♥5♥16
     
    Lilypie - pXE7
    BFP: 8/5/13      EDD: 4/13/14     IT'S A GIRL!!!      
    AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

  • I bet going back to the gym helps a lot! Just be open and honest with your ob. They should ask you screening questions for ppd. Obviously if you feel like harming yourself or the baby get help ASAP, but other signs are stuff like not getting enjoyment from things you used to enjoy.
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm in the same position as you,although baby isn't here yet, we are living in the middle of nowhere with my family miles away. Just moved here too, all for DH job. I have just joined netmums.com and put my name on the meet mums and bump, their are lots of others in the same position and post on there to meet new people.
    It's all been a good experience for me so far.
    Hope this helps
  • Thinking about you! Sounds like you have a good plan. Try to build a little structure into your day- tummy time, walk around the block, drive to a starbucks, heck go to the grocery store! I think getting out and getting some fresh air is key for mommy and baby. We're here to listen too!
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
    image
  • I was like that with DS! I made it a point to leave the house once every day, even if it was just to the grocery store. I went to fitness classes and its a good thing we are having our babies in the spring as it will be summer soon. You can go on walks and I started a small garden.
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