1st Trimester

In-Laws Trying To Force a Middle Name On My Child...

I was wondering how I you can help me handle this the right way. I dear In-Law are trying to "force" me to give my child a middle. I told them If I have a girl  I do not want her to have a middle name because I just don't like it and my hubby and I agree to this. If we are having a boy we told them his middle name will be my hubby's father name. My father-in-law kept insisting for me to give my daughter his mother middle name, I was smiling to be nice to see if he will shut up and then he kept on so so I said I will think about it. He still kept insisting and I said yes to shut him up -- it worked. The problem is I am NOT going to give my daughter a middle name and I sure as hell will not name her after my mother in-law; she doesn't even really likes me and thinks I'm the worst thing that cross his path. I am wondering how I should go about this. It was obvious in my face that I did was not thrill about giving my daughter a middle and I just said yes to shut my father in law up. Should I just not say nothing and not give her a middle name and let them find out when I give birth. I hate drama. I'm even having drama in people trying to demand they will be the godparents. What is up with this people. All this baggish is coming from my hubby's side.

Re: In-Laws Trying To Force a Middle Name On My Child...

  • Well, I agree that your daughter should have a middle name. And it should probably be your MIL's.

    J/K. I think this is one for the husband to handle. His pushy parents, his duty to step up and tell them to back off.?

  • Well, to be honest I think you kind of made a little mistake when you told him yes, even tho it must of been a giant PIA with him pressuring you. I think I might wait & see if it comes up again, and let hubby say, "Oh, we decided together that we like the baby's name without the middle name" - or you can just cross your fingers and pray it's a boy!!!
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  • Tell them they had a chance to name their children & you'll name yours.

    This is my response to anyone & everyone who comments on our name -- and so far it's shut them all up! :) 

  • I agree that your DH needs to step up and tell them to back off, that you're going to name the kid what you want to name it.
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  • It sucks that you told him yes. It will be worse now when you don't. You should have just said "I'll think about it" or "We'll let you know" then just do what you want.

    Stop talking about names with them. If they bring it up, see above comments.

    I love how people think they have a right to tell you how to name your child. My dad told me at dinner that it would make him so happy if I made his last name our child's middle. I smiled, thanked him, and will inform him what the baby's name is once WE decide what it will be.

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  • I fail to understand why this is a problem for you. Tell them she's not going to have a middle name. Period. End of conversation. It's your baby, and therefore your choice. They can be pissed if they want, but they have no right to be.

     Make DH deal with it.

    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  • imagecaliforniaclaire:

    Tell them they had a chance to name their children & you'll name yours.

    This is my response to anyone & everyone who comments on our name -- and so far it's shut them all up! :) 

     I absolutely love this response. Straightforward and simple.

     

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  • imagecaliforniaclaire:

    Tell them they had a chance to name their children & you'll name yours.

    This is my response to anyone & everyone who comments on our name -- and so far it's shut them all up! :) 

     I like this, filing it away to use in the future!

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  • I agree with pp. Just tell him your not going to give her a middle name and that's it. If he gets pissy tell DH to take care of it.

    My MIL is trying to name my child! I said the name Kyle (if it's a boy) and she said " My grandchild will not be named a crazy name", She is an old school Italian lady who doesn't speak English very well and she wants to name him some authentic Italian name and can't even begin to try to spell.

    That ain't happening!

     

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  • imagealy401:

    My MIL is trying to name my child! I said the name Kyle (if it's a boy) and she said " My grandchild will not be named a crazy name", She is an old school Italian lady who doesn't speak English very well and she wants to name him some authentic Italian name and can't even begin to try to spell.

    That ain't happening!

     

    UGH. I want to kiss my MIL every time I read a post like this. I don't know how some of you ladies refrain from killing your inlaws.

    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  • I would say something like "I understand you'd prefer she have a middle name, but my husband and I have talked about it and we decided not to give her a middle name." If they keep pushing you can say "I understand how you feel about this, but we've made up our minds. I care about you as a family member and don't want to argue about this. Let's talk about something else."

    You are going to have a lot of people telling you about how to parent and what they think is best for your child. Think of this as a great opportunity to practice asserting yourself! Stay positive and calm (i.e., try not to get angry to let it escalate) but just be firm. You can do this! Smile

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  • ITA, it's your hubby's place to correct his family, but if your put on the spot you should defend yourself. Your children are your children. Name them as you wish. If you give in now you will be setting the stage for future situations where you will be expected to do the same. Hope things go alright, stick to your guns though!
  • imageJason'swife:
    imagealy401:

    My MIL is trying to name my child! I said the name Kyle (if it's a boy) and she said " My grandchild will not be named a crazy name", She is an old school Italian lady who doesn't speak English very well and she wants to name him some authentic Italian name and can't even begin to try to spell.

    That ain't happening!

     

    UGH. I want to kiss my MIL every time I read a post like this. I don't know how some of you ladies refrain from killing your inlaws.

    Yeah, let's just say she is a piece of work. It's hard keeping my mouth shut sometimes but for this, I will not budge.

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  • Thanks so much for all of your help. Trust me I wouldn't mind shutting my in law up; but since a put my dh in the spot and told his father we decided to not give her a middle name he didn't stick up for me ( he doesn't like arguing) and i said yes I didn't know what to do but I'll let him totally deal with it. Thanks again you all.
  • Why does your MIL think that your mom wouldn't like to have her name be the middle name- that would be unfair to your mom. ?I think you put your foot down and blame it on hormones if you have to-haha!?
  • imageCAROLINA_JOSE:
    Thanks so much for all of your help. Trust me I wouldn't mind shutting my in law up; but since a put my dh in the spot and told his father we decided to not give her a middle name he didn't stick up for me ( he doesn't like arguing) and i said yes I didn't know what to do but I'll let him totally deal with it. Thanks again you all.

    You unfortunately have a H problem not an IL one. I'd tell them the idea of a middle name is so great you've decided to name her after your own mother. Nobody is going to hold a gun to your head to name your baby. Do what you both decided. btw how far along are you at this point? You don't want them driving you crazy the entire time. 

  • i never had a middle name and i am glad. ?they really arent important or useful. ?i feel like the only purpose is to honor someone... which is totally fine. ?growing up people always asked me what my middle name was and it always made me feel like an original to not have one.
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