breastfeeding or bottle feeding?

Kelmaz323

Hi Moms - Im a FTM and I have no clue if I should breast or bottle feed. I know that there are obviously a plethora of benefits to breastfeeding, but is it too much of a toll on a new mom? How often do you feed? How often do you pump? If you do breast feed, what do you have to register for? Any help, insight, tips, suggestions are much appreciated.

MrsHamon09

I am a FTM planning on breastfeeding. I am curious as to the responses you will get.

MBano

Ftm. Breast feeding until I can't anymore.

biokitty42

You should feed your baby however works best for you and your family.

That being said, since you asked for info about breastfeeding, here's what it was like for me:  It can be hard at first.  We had a lot of frustrating moments with both me and baby crying because she couldn't latch on.  It can hurt.  I was lucky and didn't have too much trouble with that, but other ladies probably have tips about helping with pain.

For awhile, the baby will breastfeed every two hours, and sometimes more frequently.  I have a friend who says that for the first two months you "sit on the couch and nurse."  It really can feel like you are constantly nursing.  But I think that holds true for formula-feeding as well; they eat all the time no matter what they're eating.  Honestly, everything felt like it took a big toll on me as a new mom.  :-)

I wasn't much of a pumper because I stayed home, and also because I got the world's crappiest pump.  I would register for a good quality pump if you're needing to pump to build a freezer stash.

Other things you might want to register for:  breast milk storage bags, bottles, a cover if you are uncomfortable nursing without one in front of others, Lansinoh or other cream for sore nipples, a nursing pillow to help support the baby, and breast pads to stick in your bra and absorb any leaks.

It can be really tough, but once you get going, a lot of women find it becomes second nature.  If you do try it and it's a struggle, try to give it a few weeks to see if things get better.  If you can't, don't worry.  It isn't for everyone, and whatever you end up doing will be fine for your baby.

Ashleyrfiles

I'm a FTM and will be breast feeding if I am able to. I know not everyone can, I have a friend that tried and her milk never came in. As long as I can I will be pumping when I return to work.

BethanyAnn27

So...another FTM here adding in a question: is a breastfeeding pillow (like a boppy) necessary? I was just planning on using whatever pillows we had around to support my arms while holding baby. If I need one, I would like to put one on the registry so I don't forget about it... 

aliciak316

I nursed my DD for 15 months and I'll be the first to say it's really hard in the beginning, it hurts, you feel like they can't do anything else, your exhausted all the time, you leak and I'm sure I'm missing something. But I absolutely loved it. It's free (formula is 25 bucks) the bond is incredible, and I think there are tons of health benefits. My daughter as never had an ear infection, never had the flu, has no allergies, the worst thing she's had is she got pink eye from the boy down the street. There is a lot of information out there to help you and some things I personally think are must haves are nursing pads, a pump, a nursing pillow I have a boppy, storage bags, and nipple cream in the beginning. I would at least try you can always quit later but I'd give it about 6 weeks.

SmarieMcB84

I will be breastfeeding #3. It can hurt, it can be frustrating, I don't want to scare any FTM so I won't go into details but it can also be a joy. 

You can pump and store to have milk on hand, for others to feed the baby with a bottle like DH if you want to take some of the load off your shoulders. You just want to be careful with using bottles along with BFing if the baby is having issues latching or they could develop nipple confusion, so this is something you could slowly introduce once you and baby have got a good rhythm going.

Newborns usually BF every 2 hours for a little while and the time periods will extend as they get older. Pumping schedule depends on your needs and body schedule. Lets say you have to go somewhere for a day without baby, and you've left pumped milk for baby to be fed by someone else... well you will have to pump as often as baby feeds regularly from the boob if he/she is not with you. Otherwise, you will feel it... boobs getting filled up and hard and your nipples tingle lol.

Register for breast pads, nipple cream (this stuff will save your nipples if you have any bad latch experiences), boppy pillow (I liked mine), pump if your insurance doesn't cover, nursing cover if you feel you might like one (even if noone buys it for you - completion discounts!) . 

Hope this helps!

JSS1002

STM here -- I breast fed for 4 months and then switched to formula before going back to work. I had a wrist injury that made it very difficult to nurse and it wasn't healing. I had a love/hate with it but it was rewarding... Until it wasn't anymore. Once I was back at work it was great to be on formula because my husband was 50/50 in terms of motn feeding...

I hope to do it longer this time but I also know that once I'm done I'm done and I'm at peace with that.

Whatever you do, the important thing is that your baby gets fed, in the way that works best for your family. I'm a big believer that happy mom = happy baby... Do not let anybody make you feel bad about your choices!

megs2011

I breastfed twins till they were 14 months old (they are 18 months now) and I plan on breastfeeding this one too (of course pumping as well) Do what works best for you. I had to start out pumping and bottle feeding till they were strong enough to breastfeed and then I EBF. As for info on my pumping. I pumped every 3 hours when I EP then after I started nursing, I'd pump after the nursing sessions.

TexasTwinMom

STM. I pumped for a while with my girls, then went on to Breastfeeding and at about 6 months, called it quits and went to formula. Do what works for you. Give anything you want a shot. There's no good answer.

jmolr

My advice is give breastfeeding a shot.  It doesn't work for everyone and that's ok, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  I was all set on breastfeeding.  I read The Art of Breastfeeding, I had a fancy expensive pump and all breastfeeding accessories.  All my friends told me about the amazing bond I'd have with my baby from breastfeeding not to mention the nutritional benefits of the baby getting breast milk.  I was stoked.  Fast forward to after I gave birth and actually tried breast feeding.  My son latched pretty well but he was too lazy to suck out the milk so he'd fall asleep before he finished it.  I went to a lactation consultant who told me that after an hour of nursing he only took 1 oz from me.  He was always hungry and ended up losing weight so we had to supplement with formula.  I ended up with double mastitis and post partum depression.  I decide to stop breastfeeding and pumped for about 3 months but my son was a really good eater so we supplemented with formula often.  We got some snide comments and sideways looks when we decided to solely formula feed but I didn't care.  The point of my story isn't to scare you but to tell you that you have to do what works best for you.  It's worth it to try breastfeeding.  You might love it, some babies are naturals.  Despite everything I went through I still plan on trying to breastfeed my next baby.  Good luck!

JackieB15

I planned to try for 6 weeks just so I could say I tried, and here I am still nursing my 16 month old. Everyone's pretty much covered the registry stuff. Make sure you have plenty of nursing bras and tanks. And have some easy snacks around. You'd be surprised at how hungry you'll be after that 2:00 am feeding. Also, you burn extra calories, but generally most women hold onto about 10 lbs of fat or so until they stop nursing. I got super depressed when I couldn't lose my last ten lbs until my doctor told me that.

MrsLaLaBug

Try also reading some of the articles on Kellymom or LaLecheLeague. Real life mamas with real life examples.

JSS1002

JackieB15 said:

I planned to try for 6 weeks just so I could say I tried, and here I am still nursing my 16 month old. Everyone's pretty much covered the registry stuff. Make sure you have plenty of nursing bras and tanks. And have some easy snacks around. You'd be surprised at how hungry you'll be after that 2:00 am feeding. Also, you burn extra calories, but generally most women hold onto about 10 lbs of fat or so until they stop nursing. I got super depressed when I couldn't lose my last ten lbs until my doctor told me that.

Also some good nipple cream and breast pads.

AbbyAlwan

Kelmaz323 - I love this blog/newsletter & today's 18 week update was about breastfeeding. If you scroll about halfway down the page you'll see her **Breastfeeding** advice. www.lucieslist.com/your-life

portentosa

If you want to breastfeed definitely give it a try and never quit on a bad day...it can be tough at first. If you decide to call it quits after a couple months or a couple days or even decide to formula feed from day one do not beat yourself up about it or let anyone else make you feel bad for your decision. Bfing, exclusively pumping, and ffing all get that baby fed!!

beck12803

The beginning can be rough. I nursed my first for 22/23 months and my second just turned one and she's still nursing. Just to add to all of the great advice already given:

If you really do have your heart set on nursing then stick to it. Especially in the beginning. If you supplement with formula before you guys get established with breast feeding, it can really hurt your milk supply. Your body will learn how much milk to make based on demand. And as tiring as it may be, if you skip feedings, you are likely to decrease your supply.

Good luck!

chardonnay24

I tried to BF my son but he couldn't latch, despite multiple visits to several lactation consultants and finally, a feeding disorder specialist. I was pretty committed to giving him BM, so I pumped for 6 months until my supply dried up, and then we switched to formula.

I am definitely planning on nursing this one. It was a pain to figure out a pumping schedule, wash pump parts, pack enough milk and bottles for outings, and then, eventually, pack and clean bottles of formula. Also, it was expensive. My pump was around $200 and my insurance didn't cover it, plus I had to buy milk storage bags, and then, formula. I would far prefer to just nurse on demand with supplemental pumping so that others can feed the baby when I'm not there.

As far as supplies, it really depends on if you are going to be working or staying at home. If you are staying at home, a manual pump and a package of milk storage bags may be sufficient, while if you are working, you may need a double electric pump and lots of storage bags, plus a cooler if you don't have a refrigerator at work. Whether or not you will be working or SAH, you will probably need lanolin, nursing pads, cooling gel pads, and a couple good nursing bras and tanks. 

CplusJ=S

I am still BF my 25 month old DD and will do the same for this baby. I am a SAHM and only pumped for 5 weeks and hated every minute of it. After that I exclusively nursed her on demand. The first 5 weeks were rough, but with the help of an amazing lactation consultant we worked out the kinks and it has been smooth sailing since. I will say that BF was never painful for me until I got pregnant. I knew I wanted to BF because of the health benefits, the bonding, the comfort it offers baby, and the fact that I'm lazy (no bottles to mix or wash in the middle of the night).

Don't be scared to give it a try. Remember that it takes a few days for your milk to come in and don't be pressured to FF right away. A newborn's stomach is the size of a marble and colostrum is all they need the first few days. It may feel like your baby is attached to you all day in the beginning, but cluster feeding will signal your body to produce more milk. If you supplement too soon your body will produce less and less which will cause you to have supply issues. Supplementation leads to more supplementation which is usual the end of BF.

Here are some things that are crucial to be successful at BF, IMO:

Support from your spouse, The Nursing Mother's Companion and/or the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding books, My Breast Friend nursing pillow (rather than the Boppy), a lactation consultant, La Leche League group/leader or an experienced nursing mother who you can turn to for help, and kellymom.com.

hfgiles920

Look into a local Le Leche League (LLL). That group is extremely informative and supportive. Not only will you have experienced moms to ask questions, but new moms as well to compare notes with. My mom was a LLL leader for over 20 years ave she was also a certified lactation consultant for those who needed a little extra help getting started. The benefits of breastfeeding are substantial so I highly recommend it, but of course it's your decision to decide what works best for you. Good luck!

braybee

@Kelmaz323‌ I think once your baby comes, you will be able to decide what is best for you and your family. For me breastfeeding was not painful or frustrating. I definitely consider myself one of the "lucky ones" though, considering how many different experiences I have heard, but everyone is different! I would recommend nipple cream and heating/cooling pads. I tried staying on a feeding schedule as much as possible (every three hours), and I used a breastfeeding app to help keep track of feedings. This helped me to remember which side to feed on and to keep track of how long baby fed for. If your child is underweight or not gaining consistently, your doctor will ask you these questions. I actually preferred not wearing a nursing bra and used old tanks as my "nursing" tanks. At the time, I was able to stay at home full time with baby up until DS was a year old. If you plan on pumping, I would recommend researching all pumps before you buy one and of course adding storage bags to your registry. Good luck on whatever you decide!

@BethanyAnn27‌ I had a boppy but often found myself using whatever pillow was close to me. For me, it wasn't a necessity.

MMason12

As a FTM my intention is to breastfeed. However, if for some reason it doesn't work out I will have no issues stopping when and if I feel is necessary.

cmumama

Do what works for you and don't let anyone make you feel bad about whatever decision you go with.

JackieB15

SmileyGirl18 said:

I tried to BF and I didn't produce enough milk, so we FF and I have zero regrets.  There are benefits to BFing, that is not a question. But, my Pedi told me the following.... a BF child with a weaker immune system can be sick more often than a FF child and a FF child with a strong immune system may never get sick at all.  DS is almost 17mos and he had a stomach flu once.  No ear infections, no respiratory infections (and he was born in Nov) 

I agree with this.y BF (daycare attending) daughter has caught almost everything imaginable in the past 16 months - Pneumonia, Croup, Impetigo, multiple colds and stomach viruses, RSV. She doesn't get all that sick and recovers quickly, but she still catches everything.

A recent study has found little long term benefits to breastfeeding. Previous studies compared kids in different families and didn't necessarily take onto account other factors (genetics, socio-economic factors, etc). This new one studied kids in the same family where one was breastfed and one not.

nilvero

I'm a FTM and I am going to try to BF. I will be going back to work after baby so I will have to pump. My para had a hard time with pumping and she felt awful when she had to stop. The more experienced moms at my job told her that all that matters is baby is getting fed and is healthy. So if I have to stop, I'm going to keep that thought in my head.

MMason12

I think its sad that women now a days are frowned upon or even scolded for not breastfeeding. Most of time people have zero clue whether Mom physically can or was able to breastfeed or just decided not to. Either way, @nilvero is right, as long as baby is being fed I'm not sure what the big deal. Its a super personal choice and its sad that those who decide not to or can't are treated so poorly by others because of it.

SingleMom31

My DD BF for 7 months. I'm glad that I did it, even though it was really frustrating at times. I'm going to try with this one too, and see how it goes.

Soogerplum

With DD I didn't really know what to expect with BFing. It was a little painful at first and I had my ups and downs and different struggled (later finding out because she was tongue tied) but overall, it was the best experience and I'm so glad that I did it. The conveinence of it is wonderful. It's so much easier to roll over in bed in those first few weeks and feed baby rather than going to the kitchen and making a warm bottle. I could instantly soothe my daughter no matter the situation whereas a bottle doesn't always offer that. Being someone who struggled with BFing for a long time before it actually got better, I wouldn't change a thing. I know that some women can't for various reasons, but I think it's so worth it to give it your very best effort before switching to formula.

AmandaR204

I tried to bf DS, I only lasted a month. I didn't make enough milk to satisfy him and it was hard not being about to sleep all night. Having to wake up every hr or so to feed him was killing me. When I switched to formula baby and I were happy and doing well, so no regrets. I will attempt to bf baby number two, but if it's not working I won't beat myself up about it. I. Trying to be realistic., I know it's hard, I, also not a person who keeps up with eating and fluids so that contributes I'm sure.

LisaKF3

I read all the books. Watched all my breast feeding moms and asked for all the suggestions. Sat in the hospital as all the nurses were all over my boobs to get the baby to eat and despite a good latch she didn't want to eat. She could be naked, having her feet tickled, water on her and she wanted to sleep, not eat. My baby lost 1 pound when we left the hospital and it took a month to gain it back. She was so miserable, never happy or content and I started to get very sad. I finally tried formula and she seemed content for once. We supplemented for an additional 6 weeks and then strictly formula till a year. I will try again this time, but now I know, I won't make us both be miserable for a year/starving the baby because I was too afraid of formula.

kleigh926

I really didn't like breastfeeding. We did it for 10 months but we had lots of issues. I actually think it negatively impacted our bonding because of all the problems and the fact that I just did not like it. The only reason I am considering doing it again is because of the cost of formula. DD was on formula for a couple months after we stopped BF'ing and it was so expensive, even getting the generic stuff. If I do try and we have problems or I don't like it again, I'll stop and not feel bad about it at all.

NYGirl02

I BF till my daughter was 22 months. It was not too much of a toll for me. The first week was hard (though anything with a newborn is hard in the first week), but I was nursing in public (covered) at a hibachi grill next to strangers by the time DD was 2 weeks old. The things that helped me the most were going to the hospital breastfeeding class, reading up on breastfeeding a ton, and going to LA Leche League meetings. Some people in the LLL can be extreme, but they start every meeting off by saying "take what works for you and leave the rest." I live by that mantra and if you want the best possible info for BFing success, that's where it's at. For me, just being around women breastfeeding at the meetings and such was helpful. I used to be uncomfortable with breastfeeding in general because I was raised to believe it was tacky. So being around it more made it seem a lot more normal. I used a Medela pump I style advance pump and it was fine.

bgmom730

cmumama said:

Do what works for you and don't let anyone make you feel bad about whatever decision you go with.

This. I tried and tried to BF and if didn't work out...combination of a not latching well and little to no supply. I wasn't comfortable taking domperidone to increase supply and natural remedies (fenugreek, diet changes..) weren't working. I had stressed and dwelled on it so much that it was making me depressed and worried what people would think. While still pregnant a friend asked if I was BFing and when I replied yes they said, "Good I didn't want to have to not like you. People who don't are selfish."  

When I finally stopped and accepted that it just wasn't working I felt so much better. Who cares what other people think? I know I'm doing the best I can and that's what matters. Its the 2 am snuggles and rocking them to sleep that forms a bond, not just BFing. Choose what is best for YOU and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise or make you feel bad.  

Ceridwen21

I have hypoplasia (underdeveloped breast tissue) so cannot supply enough milk for my babies.  With DS I breastfed and supplemented with formula, and I hope to do the same for this kiddo.  I will not go to any heroic measures to breastfeed though because formula is awesome.

Milo5181

Breastfeeding is hard. Formula feeding is expensive. Your kid will be fine either way! I BFed until my kid was 14 months and OMG never again. I loooooved getting my body back, being able to take cold medicine or excedrin, not having him always be rooting around when we'd be in bed together. Breastfeeding is great, you don't have any bottles to wash, its super convenient, but if money were no object I would probably formula feed after a few months. We don't have the cash to spend on it, though, so I'll be breastfeeding and pumping until 12 months.

Djcieply

This is so much more refreshing to read, I am a fan of the Leaky Boob on FB and I love the woman that runs the page, she has a lot of good advice on breastfeeding. The women that comment on her page on the other hand are like breast feeding nazis. Its nice to hear woman be nice about breastfeeding than scolding women for not doing it long enough or needing to supplement with formula.

I BF DS and had a hard time with it in the beginning mainly because I had a low supply. If I didnt have the one nurse that was determined to help me in the hospital, it would have been a lot harder for me. I regret not figuring out who she was and personally thanking her for all her help, but at the time I didnt realize how much she helped me.

I fed on demand, which sometimes feels like its all day everyday. DH gave DS a bottle of formula at night to give me a break, we never had any problems with nipple confusion. I loved my boppy and using a nipple shield in the beginning really helped (my wonderful nurse was the one that suggested it).  My goal was to do it for a year and DS was still nursing once or twice a day at 24 months. I was ready do be done and have my boobs back and it took about a month to get him to not be interested in doing it anymore. I plan on BFing LO and hopefully it goes a little smoother this time, but every child is different so who knows how its going to go! You just cant beat yourself up over it if it doesnt go the way you want it to, thats when it becomes miserable.

WIAgrrrr

I planned on breastfeeding both kids I already have. 

Kid #1 was a stinker and we did poorly at nursing. She fought it. I pumped for a long time but I struggled with supply issues. She had a lot of formula. She turned 5 yesterday and is one great kid.

Kid #2 was a champ at nursing. I nursed her til 14 months with pumping during worktimes so she had bottles at daycare. I loved the experience. 

I plan on breastfeeding this one. I'm hoping my job situation will change so I don't have to pump as much but we'll see. 

I wouldn't register for TOOO much stuff. You can always buy things after baby is born. I thought having a pump right away coming home from the hospital was helpful. I used my boppy quite a bit. Nipple creams are a must if you are nursing. It was very painful for me both times for at least about 6 weeks when baby was latching on. 

Djcieply

Oh and if you dont want to buy or register for a pump, look into renting one, those are medical grade and also have a better suction which could help boost your supply in the beginning. Thats what I did and then when I knew BFing was going to work I went and bought a small single electric pump. 

JackieB15

reverey said:

Random question and forgive me if it's been asked...for those who breastfeeding and then either switched to formula or had to pump, how did you go about incorporating a bottle? I'm going back to work 10-12 weeks after the birth and depending on how BF is going, I'll have to go the pump or formula route. Is it best to start incorporating pumped milk in a bottle or supplementing with bottles formula a few weeks in along with breast? Or wait til right when I go back to work? That's my biggest concern and I'm just unsure how that nipple to bottle transition works as a FTM.

It really is different for every baby (I know people say that about everything, but it's true). I got really lucky and my baby would take anything we gave her. We went to a party after about 5 weeks and gave her a bottle of pumped milk and she just took it. I know there are a lot of other people who stuggle to find a bottle baby will take. My doctor advised me not to try a bottle too early as it could cause "nipple confusion" but I wanted to be able to leave for two hours if I needed to. And there were one or two nights in the first couple of months where I was just so exhausted DH gave a bottle to let me sleep for four hours straight.

I know that was not at all helpful.

Jayhawkali

I breastfeed ds for 20 months. He had bottles from 5 months- a year a couple times a week while I attended college classes. He ate every 3-5 hours towards the end but every 2-3 in the beginning. I loved it and always wanted to breastfeed. It was easy for me bc he was with me 90% of the time. I don't know how well it would work if I was working full time but I know lots of women do it and even extended breast feed while working.
I would pump using a hands free bra in the car or on break at class usually took 20 mins.

Get a good pump check what your insurance will cover. Nursing pads, nipple cream, bottles it may take a few trial to see which one baby likes. We used the medela and the tomee tippee . Nursing bras but wait until after milk comes in for right size. Nursing cami tanks loved those for around the house.


Also check into a breastfeeding class. I didn't go and felt like I had a lucky time with how well he did with nursing. Also lachtachian consultants in the hospital and support groups. The bump ladies were so helpful for me