Grandparents and Photo Holiday Cards

hopefuldog

After a discussion on the grandparents thread, I'm wondering how Feb 14 feels about their LOs appearing in photo holiday cards sent out by the grandparents...

ETA: this is assuming they would use a decent/good photo of all parties involved.

hopefuldog

ChiaWombat said:

SS: It would depend on the picture, and I would want veto rights.

I guess I'm assuming the picture is a decent picture. Is this what you mean? You'd want to make sure everyone looks good?

Flyingtoast

ChiaWombat said:

SS: It would depend on the picture, and I would want veto rights.

+1

ziggy903

DH's aunt sent out a card last year that has her and her grandkids with Santa, at the playground, etc. Just her and the kids.
IMO... Inappropriate. If it had been the whole family, with the parents too, it would be okay. But hers just weirded me out a bit.

sdlaura

We had a photographer take family photos during our extended family vacation last year, and the grandparents used them for their holiday card. My mom had me design it for her. There was a group shot then an individual photo of each grandchild. I'd probably be annoyed if they used a bad picture, though. DH and I are paying for the photographer again on our vacation this year, which also means we get the digital files first and can get rid of any photos of anyone that are super unflattering

RondackHiker

My parents send out photo collages with their kids/grand kids. I'm fine with that.

We do request that my MIL run her very detailed Christmas letter past us before sending it out. She once included our address... And the address of DS's daycare. It made me uncomfortable.

ziggy903

RondackHiker said:

My parents send out photo collages with their kids/grand kids. I'm fine with that.

We do request that my MIL run her very detailed Christmas letter past us before sending it out. She once included our address... And the address of DS's daycare. It made me uncomfortable.

WHAT

ramfan05

RondackHiker said:

My parents send out photo collages with their kids/grand kids. I'm fine with that. We do request that my MIL run her very detailed Christmas letter past us before sending it out. She once included our address... And the address of DS's daycare. It made me uncomfortable.

I would be extremely uncomfortable with this, too. Especially DS's daycare. How does that even make it into the Christmas letter anyway?!

RondackHiker

ramfan05 said:

RondackHiker said:

My parents send out photo collages with their kids/grand kids. I'm fine with that.

We do request that my MIL run her very detailed Christmas letter past us before sending it out. She once included our address... And the address of DS's daycare. It made me uncomfortable.

I would be extremely uncomfortable with this, too. Especially DS's daycare. How does that even make it into the Christmas letter anyway?!

She couldn't understand what was wrong with saying something like "DS attends the Kindercare in CITY NAME and loves it there. Even better, it's close to their house on XYZ Street!" She felt since she didn't put an address number it was okay. She does not understand google.

djtippietoes

It doesn't bother me if they use his picture.

The year we got married, my in-laws used one of our wedding pictures (of just me and DH) as their holiday card.  I think that's a lot weirder than using grandkids.

emm57

I have no problem if the grandparents wanted to use a pic of my kids as thier Christmas card. I guess I look at it as if my mom and in laws want to show off my kids it's because they are proud of them and us.

To me it's no different than when my grandparents would send out their Christmas newsletter that mainly talked about the grandchildren and the 4x6 picture of us. My grandparents were always proud of us and this was the one time they got to show us off. Perhaps bc this is/was the norm in my family it doesn't bother me.

littlepig2

@RondackHiker‌ what?! I'd lose my mind!!!

I wouldn't mind if it included DD's cousin too but only on my side. I don't like my MIL and she thinks every person she's ever walked past is her best friend, so I don't want a lot of random people getting a picture of DD. I think pictures of LO's with just the grandparents in kinda weird unless it's a photo collage and has a couple pics of the family with LO's. I personally wouldn't send them out but we get one from a family every year and theirs is so cute.

inluv4life2

As long as they don't use the picture I want to use, they can so pretty much do whatever. But the GPs in our lives would probably ask for clearance first.

SuzyQq02

Neither of our families send Christmas cards, so it's a non issue (though we'll probably start now that we can send photo cards of lo). If they wanted to, Id be fine with it so long as they asked / we knew which photo they were sending.

hopefuldog

greenbunny79 said:

I really don't get the big deal.  Its just a card, and they want to show off their family.  The cards only really go to other family like aunts and uncles anyway.  So what?

Now if they included addresses and stuff, thats cray.

This is how I feel, although based on the poll, it does seem like we are in the majority. I was starting to wonder if my way of thinking was way off.

Obviously if they want to use an unflattering or inappropriate picture, that makes sense not to approve. I was mainly interested in the general idea of grandparents using LOs. Giving out addresses and other personal info is understandably not cool.

I'm pretty sure no one in my family asks for approval before sending their photo cards. And I never thought anything of it. But they are using appropriate, flattering photos, and just showing off their grandchildren.

sdlaura

I don't mind when people start sending cards after kids, but I think it's funny how pets get squeezed out once kids come along. This is the case for us - we used to send a 'family' shot of us and the two dogs, then when we had a baby she was the main picture plus a small dog one, and last year they were pushed off entirely because it's too hard to coordinate a toddler and dogs in a picture. Poor dogs

SuzyQq02

I totally see where you're coming from, @RosiePeare, but honestly, it's more because we know there are family members who won't see her often who have/will ask for photos and it's an easy/socially expected way to do it. My extended family has a big Christmas party each year and it's expected that people hand out their cards/pics of their LOs, especially for the older set there. (As much as they love me, the only thing that's changed about my appearance in the last 10 years is my hair color... repeatedly...so they don't have the same expectation of getting a similar photo of me each year). ;-) It  would be weird if we opted out. So while we're at it, we'll probably send them to our friends, too.

RondackHiker

About the not sending cards till you have kids... In my family's social circle we only got cards/photos/ letters from others with kids. Single adults or couples just didn't do them (other than a couple that had three indoor pigs and two st bernards--seriously).

It wasn't until I married dh that I saw some couples do holiday cards. It surprised me. It wasn't that I don't think of them as a family before kids or that I think they only want to AW their child, but more that in some circles it seems like it's just not something you do till you have kids.

My yearly favorite letter is from a high school friend and her H, who send a VERY badly written poem each year. I mean, comically bad. It's a highlight of my season.