A preschool mom friend of mine is going through some tough stuff right now. It's the 1st anniversary of the loss of a parent. She and I talk outside of school and she's talked to me about it. Well, when we saw each other at drop off this morning, I asked how she is doing, I meant just in general, but she immediately started crying. She tried to hide it from the other moms but a few noticed and asked what was wrong. She just told them she didn't want to talk about it. They left her alone then but at pick up, everyone kept glancing at her, as if waiting for her to share. While the reason isn't a secret, she doesn't really want to talk about it at school, it's still very emotional. She asked me how she could tell the moms, politely, that she doesn't care to share. I have no idea what she could say. Help?
If someone approaches her she should just say that's "it's an emotional time for me right now since it's the anniversary of my dad's passing" and people will give her their condolences and move on. It's that simple.
Yeah, in this case I think it's better to say it quickly like PP's mentioned above, than to say nothing at all or be too vague about it being "private". When people see someone crying they often start speculating and then gossiping, especially if someone's said something's "private".
I'd just say it was the anniversary of my dad's passing. You hear the "Oh I'm so sorry" and then people leave you alone. Much easier than the onslaught of looks and speculation if you try to be secretive about it.
My dad's been gone almost 6 months now and I find the quickest thing is always just to say he's died. People get awkward and pull back, which is easier for me to deal with than endless, "Oh well if you change your mind and you wan to talk..." or "Are you sure there's nothing I can do..."
Re: How to POLITELY tell others to mind their own business?
Sorry for your loss.
Cnon