A good friend at work asked me who in my family was throwing my shower. I told her nobody since this is my second and she seemed surprised. I told her I think it's tacky to have a shower after your first (whoops, no filter). I think I hurt her feelings...first because she had 2 showers for 2 different kids and second because (I later found out), she and a couple of other friends were planning on throwing me a shower this time around. I feel badly for my blunt reaction, but don't expect a shower. So I guess my question is which is worse: having a shower for a 2nd child to be polite and gracious to a friend who wants to throw it or follow etiquette with not having a shower and hurting a friend's feelings? (She truly is a generous and selfless friend. She's not do it out of obligation or for recognition.)
DH & I: 29
TTC #1 4/2009 - DD 2/5/10TTC #2 since October 20112IF issues
7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim + Ovidrel = BFN
8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim + Ovidrel = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45 Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm!

Re: Declining an Offer for a Baby Shower
If it comes up again, just say thanks, but no thanks.
TTC #1 4/2009 - DD 2/5/10
TTC #2 since October 2011
2IF issues
Glad you apologized. It is okay to say "thank you for you generous offer, but I would prefer not to have one ." If asked, you can just say that second showers are not done in in your family/ circle of friends and you would not be comfortable with one.