October 2013 Moms
apritchett50
member
Upset, need to vent! NBR
apritchett50
member
My freaking parents gave there dog up for adoption this weekend, without telling anyone. I saw it on the shelters FB page. He's like 10+ years old and heart worm positive. Last week they took him to the vet because he was having trouble eating and the vet said it was from an abscess tooth, but nothing about heart worm. I don't know if they knew he was positive or not but l'd like to think they didn't. They aren't "those" kind of people. I'm just in shock and pretty sad! We got him when I was a young teenager so I lived with him most of his life. Now I want to go adopt him, but with two dogs and a baby already I feel it'll get crazy. Plus treating him for the heart worm! I called my mom and her excuse was bc my dumb ass 19 year old sister is pregnant and moving back in with them, she just won't have time to take care of him. Otherwise my parents are great, but this was a total asshole move and it ruined my day! Am I an asshole too for not going to get him?
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Re: Upset, need to vent! NBR
We have 2 dogs too and a bird and LO. There is no way I could add a third.
euthanized? Ugh my heart hurts for him, he has no clue why his humans abandoned him :-(.
I understand you not wanting to take in another dog but maybe you could help find him a new home. Poor pup
Hopefully you can convince your parents to take him back.
Eleanor 9.30.13
But your parents had the time and energy to take care of the dog before your sister got knocked up and decided to move back in and had your parents take care of her and the baby. It is not like your parents made the choice to get pregnant and now are putting the dog up for adoption because "omg! Baby!"
They didn't have any choice in your sister's pregnancy, other than agreeing to take her in and help her out in this incredibly stressful teen pregnancy situation. Hardly the stuff that assholes are made of, in my opinion. If they had cited their old dog as the reason they didn't have the time or energy to help their pregnant teenage daughter, I would definitely say they were assholes.
If you want to adopt the dog, go ahead. If you want to take in your sister and the new baby, so your parents can focus on their dog, do that. But otherwise, it seems like you can't really know how stressful their lives are about to get...
But I have such a soft spot for people who basically drop everything that is going on in their lives to help out friends and loved ones in need. In an ideal world, they would be able to take care of the pregnant teenager and new baby and also handle a medically fragile dog. But if it is an either/or situation, I think they made the right choice--and I think their grandchild will appreciate that they didn't choose the dog over them.
I can't imagine how stressful it would be to think all your kids are adults and out of the house, only to find out you were about to start all over again, thanks to your daughter's poor decision making. What a challenging situation. And they did take him to a no kill shelter. And didn't pressure their other daughter to take on the dog when they knew she couldn't handle it either. I just can't hate on them for this, based on the facts in op's post.
@petdocd -- I just don't think this was a situation where it was the dog owner's careless actions that led to them being in a situation that was just too much to handle. They are doing the gracious thing by taking in the pregnant teenage sister. They didn't know they were going to have to do this and basically start over in raising a baby when they got the dog 10 years ago (when their youngest kid was 9).
To me, this is completely different than the previous posters on this board who got a puppy when they first got married, and then a year later want to get rid of the dog because they are now having a baby and don't want to deal with the dog anymore. In that case, those posters knew they eventually wanted to have kids and chose to get a dog first--they should own that decision. But this is a completely different situation because the parents never thought they were going to be raising another baby and have their daughter and all her issues, whatever they are, back in the house again.
I am ALL for personal responsibility. And if the teenage sister were on this board, and acting super ungrateful for what her parents were doing for her, you are correct that I would ream her and tell her to grow up. But I just can't see the anger for the parents on this one. It is a super sucky situation and I am sad for all involved. And I feel very bad for that sweet dog. But I stand by saying that babies and human children have to come first, if a person feels like there is no way they can take care of both their human and dog responsibilities...
And people are not more important than animals. That kind of attitude is what makes people think they can abuse animals...and give their elderly dog to a shelter. Awful.
And I will have to absolutely 100% disagree with you here.
Everyone has different opinions, but I honestly can't believe that anyone believes people are not more important than animals... I am a huge animal lover. I can barely kill flies (like, sometimes I trap flies in water glasses and take them outside to release them...I am weird like that). But if I had to choose between whether to save my baby or my dog in a house fire, I wouldn't even have to think twice.
Who knows what kind of stress those parents are dealing with, trying to make their house ready for their teenage child and her baby to move back in. I don't--so I can't judge. All I know is that their excuse was they couldn't handle both the sick dog and the extra responsibilities of their child and grandchild. And for me, that is enough. Animals should be loved and treated humanely and with dignity. But I DO believe people come first.
Egocentrism is not a good quality for humans to adopt.
I would save my kids because my kids are, in every aspect conceivable, more valuable and important to me than my dog.
I love my dog like crazy. She was sick when we rescued her from the shelter, so I know all about that, and she sleeps in my bed. She's my buddy.
But she is not my child and there are things I would do for my human family members that I just wouldn't do for my animal family. Not because I don't love them. But just because, to me, human family really does come first. That is not "egocentric"--that is just the reality that I live in.
I get that you disagree, and that is fine. But since we are coming from such different philosophies, I doubt we will ever be able to really understand each other on this one.
It is heartbreaking what the parents did to that poor, old pup. I think it is a piss poor excuse to claim the incoming grandchild is the reason they can't care for their dog. Hell, my baby is sick and refuses to be set down for even a second right now an yet I have no trouble taking care of my 4 animals while carrying along a baby on my hip. It sounds like op's parents are not wanting for anything and could easily afford to hire a dog walker or another service to help take care of the dog if they truly couldn't handle both tasks.
In this case, the fact that the 19 year old pregnant sister is obnoxious and irresponsible doesn't make the burden on her parents who are allowing her to live with them any less. In fact, that kind of attitude increases the stress and responsibility that the parents are feeling in this sucky situation.
And also, This is OP's childhood dog, and she is not planning to go rescue it because she has a lot on her plate with her dogs and new baby. If OP really believes that dogs really are as important as human family members, then she is essentially letting a sister or brother be given away/possibly euthanized, rather than doing the "right/hard" thing by taking care of this "sibling" she grew up with.
Not saying I agree with that--because I don't. I think people have to do the best they can with the mental/physical/emotional resources they have. And I tend to give these parents the benefit of the doubt because their life is about to get even harder. I have seen teen mom. I know that the parents of the entitled, obnoxious teenage moms get stuck with pretty much all the responsibilities of raising a child, with none of the upside. It is a thankless deal-- but they chose to allow her a place to stay rather than turning her away to do it alone. So they get a pass in my book.
As for getting the dog, I wouldn't blame you if you decided you couldn't, but I probably would if it were me. Dh and I have two dogs and one is really difficult. We regularly say no more dogs but if something happened where his parents couldn't take care of their dog, we wouldn't be able to leave her in the shelter.Good luck to you, op. It's a shitty situation to be in.
May Siggy: Baby in disguise
:: chiming in late:: I'm so glad you contacted the shelter. Our senior adoptees are part of our family, no question. I agree with PPs that the odds of someone adopting Dusty are slim -- our pooches were 6 and 10 when we adopted them and it's the best thing we ever did.
Side note: it's actually my lifelong #ifmoneywasnoobject dream to have a rescue for senior dogs.
We have three dogs, all with myriad inherited health issues due to negligence that require constant vet trips, an asshole cat, a fish, a gigantic garden, oh -- and a baby. I honestly don't know how we take care of everything, but we do. Trust me, you'll get into a rhythm and you'll figure it out, too! (And have no regrets in the end.)