TTM ABOUT tips on backing off bedtime

MoxyByProxy

I'm sorry if this has been discussed already.

LO has been passing out at 7 ish here the past few nights and sleeping till midnight or 1. I want to shift him a little later so that maybe he's waking up later in the night since he refuses to go back to sleep until around 4 and then sleeps until 7 or 8am.

I cant seem to get it down. I've tried giving him a bath and having play tome but he's so cranky that I give in because 7pm seems to be when his body is saying lights out. He's one of those guys that if he gets overtired there is just pure hell to pay and like most LO leads to horrible sleep at night.

Should I tough it out a couple of days and purposely wake him up at say 6 or 7 AM so maybe his nap times reset and in return getting him in a later bedtime pattern?

I wouldn't even mind if he was just napping from 6pm- 8pm and staying up later but the 3 hour awake time in the middle of the night is killing me. He fusses like he wants to get back to sleep but wont/can't and because I keep the lights low and only bedtime music. I try to make it clear that its not playtime. I'm all for taking his lead. If he's wanting earlier bed times I'll deal with it but I would love to eliminate that 130-4 awake stretch somehow.

inluv4life2

I'm mobile so I can't see how old your LO is but I bet if you give it time he'll work things out himself. But if you are desperate to move things Along you could try to wake baby just enough to eat a few ounces when you are ready to go to bed. (I think you said previously that you are bottle feeding??) Maybe he needs a top off with a "dream feed". I wouldn't start trying until at least 6 weeks or so though.

Also, read the 90 minute sleep solution. It is NOT about sleep training rather finding babies sleep rhythms and using then to establish a routine. That book changed my life!

MoxyByProxy

He is 8 weeks. I'll look into the 90 minutes.
Ty!

I am not sure if what I'm referring to is sleep training. Im really ok with taking his lead. (With this one exception because i want sleep too and i cant go to bed at 7! Lol) Do you think the dream feed would be enough to keep him in a sleepy phase if he's staying up that long stretch?

Maybe he's just coming too awake if that makes sense?

Edit to reword

Altreed

I agree with inluv- you can usually start trying a dream feed around 7 weeks. I would be tempted to go ahead and put him down at 7, wake him gently for a dream feed at 10-ish and put him right back down. It's worth a try!

slwprincess

DreamingBabies said:

I would focus on why its taking him so long to go back to sleep in the middle of the night. If you are changing his diaper after you feed, instead do it before or in the middle of feeding. Keep the lights and sounds low too. Eventually he'll catch on. Babies are babies though and you can only control so much. Good luck!

This is my thought too. What happens during this time that keeps him up so long? Here's what we do to make sure she goes right back to sleep after eating...
Lights stay VERY low for entire thing. Install a dimmer switch for this. Also white noise goes the whole time. She cries, DH changes her diaper while I pee and arrange the pillows. He reswaddles her and hands her off to me. I nurse while she's swaddled. If she falls asleep before finishing, I lay her down and usually she wakes enough to finish the feed. Once she's
done, I wait another five minutes and then lay her down. The whole thing takes 20 min or less. There is no talking or eye contact. Baby does not leave the room- even if bottle feeding. Either send DH to kitchen or get a bottle warmer in the bedroom.

MoxyByProxy

Thanks ladies!

I have some good things to try out over the next couple of days. I can see where some of what I (or dh) might be doing to make it worse.
I really appreciate the feedback!

kak808

Just a question for PPs -- why the age minimum for doing dream feeds? I was considering trying it with my 4 week old.

Altreed

Kaks- not so much as age minimum as the fact that under about 7 weeks there's just not a great deal of "pattern" in their sleep. You feed when LO is hungry and sleep stretches don't last a whole lot more than 3-4 hrs tops. So there isn't really a need for dream feed yet. For example, last night my 5 week old fed at roughly 8 pm, 11 pm, 3 am and 6 am. After the 11 pm feed he was put down for bed. But this was all his timing- I didn't wake him for a dream feed.

inluv4life2

Altreed said:

Kaks- not so much as age minimum as the fact that under about 7 weeks there's just not a great deal of "pattern" in their sleep. You feed when LO is hungry and sleep stretches don't last a whole lot more than 3-4 hrs tops. So there isn't really a need for dream feed yet. For example, last night my 5 week old fed at roughly 8 pm, 11 pm, 3 am and 6 am. After the 11 pm feed he was put down for bed. But this was all his timing- I didn't wake him for a dream feed.

Exactly this.

MissDemeanor

Clueless FTM here... What's a dream feed?

Altreed

A dream feed is an option when LO starts "sleeping through the night." Let's say you put LO down for bed at 8 pm. But then maybe he/she wakes up hungry at 3 AM. An alternative is for you to gently wake LO before you go to bed yourself (say 11 pm) for a dream feed. Then, maybe he/she is able to make it until 6 AM instead of 3. It's called a dream feed because you want to make sure to keep them very drowsy while doing this so that they will go right back down. Often parents won't even check a diaper. Just eat and straight back to bed.

MoxyByProxy

We didn't get the chance to dream feed last night but I did bring bottles to the bedroom. We don't have a bottle warmer so I used a coffee cup warmer and had extra water on hand to cool it down. I felt a bit mad scientist mixing half warm half cold water and then adding the powder all while being one eyed.

I took the suggestion of not making eye contact and he went back down within an hour rather than 3.

I'll see if we get a chance for the dream feed tonight. Ty all very much for the tips!

inluv4life2

Glad you had some success! Hope it's the start of a lot of good sleep!

slwprincess

MoxyByProxy said:

We didn't get the chance to dream feed last night but I did bring bottles to the bedroom. We don't have a bottle warmer so I used a coffee cup warmer and had extra water on hand to cool it down. I felt a bit mad scientist mixing half warm half cold water and then adding the powder all while being one eyed.

I took the suggestion of not making eye contact and he went back down within an hour rather than 3.

I'll see if we get a chance for the dream feed tonight. Ty all very much for the tips!

That's an awesome first try! A few more nights and he will have it down. Do you use powder formula? Try giving it room temp. Just have the bottle of water ready in the room and get a formula dispenser like this with the powder premeasured in it. All you have to do is dump it in and shake!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0009ET94A?pc_redir=1396039167&robot_redir=1

MoxyByProxy

Oh i have that!

I actually went online today and ordered the first years cooling/warming system. I needed to anyway. Here soon dh will leave for a month and I'll be on my own so I'm all about anything that is a little less work lol

Eta about dispenser

Altreed

I am so glad you had a better night! Fingers crossed that things keep trending in the right direction!

kak808

Altreedinluv4life2: Thanks for the clarification. I was just wondering if it made sense to make our last planned feed (between 9 and 10) a "dream feed" since she's usually asleep before then, in order for it to be more likely for her to go back to sleep. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter though since she's not going to sleep through the night anyway?  Normally she wants to eat at 2, between 4 and 5, and then again between 7 and 8.