Success after IF

Mama Drama

Mrs.AmyDylanMrs.AmyDylan member
edited March 2014 in Success after IF
So I feed weird posting this, but as I've established previously y'all are my peeps.

 A mom-friend (qualified by saying we weren't friends before kids) has been doing a lot of last minute cancellations on any sort of plans (25-50%). Part of me is ready to dust off my hands and be finished. But the other part of me knows that we sort of clicked more than any other moms I've met, our girls share the same bday (super fun!), and she she 27 weeks pregnant with an oops #2. 

 So without giving a blow by blow account of the range of excuses, latest being work on their house (she was supposed to come to our house), instead ended up at her moms all day. (Edit: It was 3:30pm and I asked when they were planning to head over) 

 What do I do? I'm pretty curious to see what you all think since even my mom said something about the situation when she asked what we did yesterday (hubby is oot, so I try to plan afternoon fun).
TTC Since 3/2010
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

image

Mama Drama 33 votes

Say something?
24% 8 votes
Get over yourself, shit happens when you have kids, cancellations are part of the game.
39% 13 votes
Something else...
36% 12 votes

Re: Mama Drama

  • ccamccam member
    I agree with @kzawisl - I wouldn't say anything but I'd put the ball in her court. Who is the one making these plans that she's breaking?

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • mnj05mnj05 member
    I agree, let her make the effort now. I can be pretty passive aggressive though and just all of sudden fall off the planet if someone keeps standing me up. I just simply stop trying and do other things until they decide they want to follow through.

     imagePhotobucket

    TTC #1 since 3/2011
    DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
    DH is a testicular cancer survivor
    IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
    ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
    Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
    Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal

    IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.

    FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216  Beta #2: 823


    Baby Boy born 7/10/2015


  • I think you've gotten great advice from the other pp's. I just wanted to add that sometimes I make plans and then the day of, I feel like shit and really just don't feel like going anywhere. Being pregnant with a little one is draining and that could be what she's dealing with. At least I know it is in my case.


    After 4 years, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs our surprise miracle is here!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    My Blog

    TTC # 2 BFP 03/02/13 = CP, BFP 05/14/13 = CP, BFP 08/09/13 = CP

    RPL testing = normal

    TI Cycle #1, 50 clomid days 3-7, 150 iu Follistim days 8-11 = BFP! EDD May 22, 2014

    Betas: 13 DPO = 79, 15 DPO = 149, 19 DPO = 788, 22 DPO = 2031

  • I don't know, I hear the excuse a lot that this kind of thing just happens a lot with kids but I have four of them and have never cancelled plans so although I can see it as a once in a while thing, I just don't buy it happening all the time.  I might not say something and just let her be the one to suggest the next get together.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

  • Thanks guys. @ccam, we both make the plans. I sent her a have a good weekend and let me know if you are up for something text and I will leave it for now.
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

    image
  • I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't say a word and stop making plans with her till she tried to set something up

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • Thanks guys. @ccam, we both make the plans. I sent her a have a good weekend and let me know if you are up for something text and I will leave it for now.

    Good for you. I also keep my plans and hardly ever cancel so this would upset me.
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