Baby Shower Etiquette

tacosandtums

Is there a rule, like with bridal showers, that my mom shouldn't throw me a baby shower? I'm only 11 weeks but she just told me she wants to host a shower for me. 

This quote below is from Emily Post- I'm confused between the Traditionally/Today wording. My mom lives an hour away (on the other side of the beltway) from where I live, so  I don't know if I qualify as "out of town". TIA!

Hosts and Honorees

Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or coworkers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers.   Because gifts are central to showers, hosting by a member of the honoree's (or husband's) immediate family appeared self-serving. Today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there's a legitimate reason. For example, some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host a shower so that longtime friends can attend.

A&DPritchett2be

I am currently 17 weeks along and my mom is planning a shower. It won't be for another 3 months so I am hoping that others offer to help out and co-host. My mom claims that her mother hosted hers, so I think she feels like it is a right of passage as the mother of the mom to be. I also live out of state from my family as my DH is in the military. I have gone back and forth over the etiquette especially because DH comes from a small southern town and I was accused of not doing everything by the Emily Post way with our wedding. Ultimately, I am honored that anyone would throw me a shower and I am thankful for my mom so I am standing by her on this issue. I will have DH address it with his family if any etiquette comments arise.

LucilleAustero

My mother and MIL hosted mine. I think it has become very common for the MTB's mom host the shower.

With so many other gross breaches of ettiquette becoming the norm, I don't think anyone would have an issue with this.

 

Helenahhandbasket

My mom hosted mine.  She also hosted my bridal shower.

I think this is one of the "rules" that has evolved over time as baby showers evolved from really simple gatherings into catered events.

jtmomma13

My mother, MIL and sisters hosted my baby shower. I didn't realize that this used to be taboo. 

tacosandtums

Thank goodness so many of your moms hosted your baby showers! My mom was so excited when she told me she wants to give the shower that I cannot imagine telling her no.

@AbbyMMM I totally think you made a fair point about making sure not to plan it myself, Pinterest style, through her. Trust me I have no interest in planning a baby shower. I gave one for my friend in 2012 and I made it as un-baby shower like as possible- we had no games, haha! I did "activities" like leave a wish for the baby, a raffle for a big gift I made for whoever brought a pack of diapers, and some other things, but none of the traditional (well-loved, but NMS) baby shower games. Trust me, I want nothing to do with planning a shower  

dufferoo

What she means by "traditionally" and "today" is that there is a traditional rule in place that a family member shouldn't host, but these days it's more and more common to breach that etiquette rule. That doesn't mean the rule is dead (just ask Miss Manners!) but you just won't get side-eye from as many people.

divinemsbee

I'll be another to say that you just have to know your social circle. It's still a big no-no in my family for the mom or MIL to host the shower, but with my family my aunts pretty much take turns hosting things for each others' daughters. But I also wouldn't bat an eyelash if someone's mom hosted their baby shower.

mjberube89

My mother and I will be co hosting my sisters shower. That's pretty much how it goes in my family and social circle. In fact, I've never been to a shower that wasn't hosted by the MTB's mom.

kimberpoo

my mom and MIL co-hosted both my wedding and baby shower. I don't think I've heard of, or been to, any shower not hosted by a mom/mil. it also seems like they've become big enough events (in my area at least) that anyone further related wouldn't want to throw down the cash to host unless mom/mil weren't around or involved in mtb's life.

jf198400

Every baby shower I have ever been to was hosted by the MTBs mom or mil.

kimberlymautz

I had two showers, one that my mom hosted and another that my boyfriend's mom hosted. I don't see anything wrong with it.

ArgyleBride

jociejones said:

What she means by "traditionally" and "today" is that there is a traditional rule in place that a family member shouldn't host, but these days it's more and more common to breach that etiquette rule. That doesn't mean the rule is dead (just ask Miss Manners!) but you just won't get side-eye from as many people.

This.  It is not correct, but almost everyone is willing to overlook it these days--most do not even know this rule.

ajhamb

In my circle of friends, we are all mostly transplants in our city, so all the MTB's live at least a 3-hr plane ride away, so I haven't been to a single shower that was thrown by any of the mothers or MILs-- just close friends. 

So long as every is happy to be there (most importantly, you) and no one has their feelings hurt, should it matter who throws it?