Ugh... no idea what to say.

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ChevelleRivers

How totally heartbreaking. I can't even imagine... Honestly, I would just bring them a wonderful home cooked meal. Maybe a few. I don't think there's any "right" thing to say in those sort of situations. Sigh.

SingleMom31

One of my coworkers had a kind of similar situation.  The were expecting twins and found out at their a/s that one had spina bifida (sp?), but they anticipated the other being healthy.  When they arrived at 28 weeks, it all went out the window.  Both came home after long NICU stays, but they're both special needs (at nearly 2.5, neither can sit up on their own and one's on a ventilator still).  Horrible outcome.  Anyway, why I'm telling you this... Most of the time, they'll tell you about them just like any other proud parents.  I'd go with anything that you'd normally say/ask: How are you feeling?  Are you doing okay?  Is there anything I can do to help?  How are the boys doing?  He's adorable!!  He really looks like (her/husband's name)!!! 

Jackiemxoxo

I agree with pp's. I think leaving food is a good idea and just letting her know you're there if she needs anything. I think she will open up when she is ready and sometimes people open up really quickly because they want to talk about it. Or she may not want to talk about it which is ok too. Hopefully she will continue to come to your mom's group and find support from you all. 

LittleFish1

That is a lot of change for her to adjust to (both expected & unexpected). Maybe something to the effect of: "Beautiful babies, so glad to hear that everyone is home safe. Let us know if we can help with anything. Looking forward to our babies playing together in the coming years at play dates."

You might want to mention TheBump (or online mesege boards) in general in a few days about how it has a bunch of different boards like the baby-gear, c-sections, parents of multiples, working parents, special needs, breast feeding, etc.

JessAnnJ

Treat her as you normally would any mother that just gave birth except maybe offer a little extra help because it sounds like she needs it. She is dealing with enough I think making her feel just like any other mom is the best thing you can do.