Baby shower etiquette ?

PeachsMama

My best friend had an awful first pregnancy. Sick the whole time and lost like 40 lbs then She went into labor at five months and they were able to stop it but she was put on strict bed rest (only aloud up for 10 minutes a day). Her baby boy was born at 32 weeks and spent a few days in the NICU but is healthy now but just still really small for his size.

Well now she's pregnant with number 2!!!! Woo hoo! I'm so excited! And I'd like to throw her the baby shower she never got to have because of the medical issues. She's not sure because people still gave her things but she didn't get a shower. It would only be close friends and family that know why she didn't get the first one.

So yay? Or nay? She's really on the fence and I won't do it unless she's comfortable. But I wanted your guys input.

justmepreggo2020

I'd say yes, but she really has to be comfy with it. Maybe even just make a big BBQ out of it instead of a "typical" baby shower with family and friends in her name.

Mum2Be28

I think it's a great idea since she never had one the first time around. If it were me, I would probably ask her if there are one or two items she really needs this time around... carseat or something like that. And you could have everyone chip in for one or two things, but other than that just have it be more of a celebrate mommy and baby #2 party than a gift thing.

mmm50

I say yes to an intimate one-- especially if you share a group of friends. 

PeachsMama

Thanks guys! She's 15 weeks right now so obviously it'll be a while but her mom is pushing it on her and I would like to be able to tell her that if she did want to have one that it's not likely that people will side eye her for it.

dobrydney

I agree that I think it's fine.  Not every situation is black and white.  I'd just plan something a little more intimate than what some "traditional" baby showers can be.  If your friend is never about it, maybe do some type of brunch at a restaurant or something like that so there aren't tons of super showery decorations etc. involved.  I think you can make it nice without it being over the top and making her feel weird.

inlove0509

2013JEM said:

You are a good friend--- keep it intimate and let your friend know this is about memories, not gifts! Perhaps in lieu of gifts attendants could donate to the Nicu or a similar charity?!

Love what you said, @2013JEM! I feel that way too-- that a baby shower should not feel like a gift grab but about celebrating and making memories. Very sweet idea to contribute to the NICU.

OP, or you could throw a book baby shower rather than guests bringing gifts. Little kids books to read to the baby one day..