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July 2012 Moms
lnd1031
member
Been MIA for a while.....
lnd1031
member
But I am "back".
Things have been crazy since October, and I've been a horrible non-existent J12-er to my fellow GA moms. And for that, I apologize.
To summarize, initially my absence started out with new work rules. I was told that I needed to "focus more" - even though in the same breath it was stated that I do great work and nothing was suffering....just "focus more". So there was that.
Then, I began dealing with depression again. I've dealt with it before, and was always proud of the fact that I managed to avoid PPD (It was a constant concern for me). However, looking back, I realize now that I did have PPD, it just wasn't manifesting in the ways I was looking for....until it got really bad. I also discovered that I have moderate anxiety. Again, I have always "had" it, but as it was only triggered by being in large crowds, it was always written off as over-stimulation. But with the addition of a baby, it has presented itself in new and escalated ways. These have been hard truths for me to deal with, and I do have an appointment set up with my Dr. to discuss hormone balance testing, the anxiety, etc. It has been difficult for me to admit that I cannot deal with this on my own.
On top of all that, was the deterioration of my marriage. We had gone through a very rough patch before, but had come through it. However, with the onset of all the other stuff, it went downhill again. We sought counseling, and are slowly working on things...but it is slow.
And then there was just regular day-to-day life that has been abnormally busy.
All of it together is far from being "fixed" but I am working very hard to push through the anti-social blanket that covers me when things get rough like this. So again, I apologize GA J12. I have missed you all, and there have been times that I have wanted to post my toddler issues, but just couldn't (I wish I had a better way to explain it).
I'm not the best at putting my thoughts and feelings into words, so this will have to suffice. I hope you will accept me back into the fold.
Things have been crazy since October, and I've been a horrible non-existent J12-er to my fellow GA moms. And for that, I apologize.
To summarize, initially my absence started out with new work rules. I was told that I needed to "focus more" - even though in the same breath it was stated that I do great work and nothing was suffering....just "focus more". So there was that.
Then, I began dealing with depression again. I've dealt with it before, and was always proud of the fact that I managed to avoid PPD (It was a constant concern for me). However, looking back, I realize now that I did have PPD, it just wasn't manifesting in the ways I was looking for....until it got really bad. I also discovered that I have moderate anxiety. Again, I have always "had" it, but as it was only triggered by being in large crowds, it was always written off as over-stimulation. But with the addition of a baby, it has presented itself in new and escalated ways. These have been hard truths for me to deal with, and I do have an appointment set up with my Dr. to discuss hormone balance testing, the anxiety, etc. It has been difficult for me to admit that I cannot deal with this on my own.
On top of all that, was the deterioration of my marriage. We had gone through a very rough patch before, but had come through it. However, with the onset of all the other stuff, it went downhill again. We sought counseling, and are slowly working on things...but it is slow.
And then there was just regular day-to-day life that has been abnormally busy.
All of it together is far from being "fixed" but I am working very hard to push through the anti-social blanket that covers me when things get rough like this. So again, I apologize GA J12. I have missed you all, and there have been times that I have wanted to post my toddler issues, but just couldn't (I wish I had a better way to explain it).
I'm not the best at putting my thoughts and feelings into words, so this will have to suffice. I hope you will accept me back into the fold.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Been MIA for a while.....
Our door is always open
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
*tries not to get blubbery*