Shit my Toddler Says

LibberDuck

So I thought it might be fun for some of us STMs to share funny things our toddlers (or older kids) say so that the FTMs can have something to look forward to. Here are some recent, word-for-word statements my 3 year-old has made:

In reference to me coming into his room: "Don't come in here. It's my house. I didn't buy it, daddy bought it. Daddy's going to build me a new house like Bob the Builder."

In reference to me shutting his window: "Don't close my window! Molly [our dog] doesn't want you to close my window! I'm feeling sick. The wind will help me feel better. It makes me talk like Norman."

In reference to DH being busy at work: "Daddy's getting dirty mommy! Daddy's getting dirty! He needs to take a bath. He needs to take a shower! I don't want daddy to get dirty! Because I want to keep him clean! But I'm not keeping him clean now. He's going and playing in dirt without me. I'm getting bigger like daddy [while eating]."

In reference to a toy he wants, while driving: "You turned, mommy. We need to go to the store! I need that excavator! I don't have an excavator. I need an excavator!"

In reference to potty training: "Oooooh man, I can't get my poops out! Can you help me get my poops out?? It's hard work!"

What funny things have your kids said recently?

LibberDuck

katielou711 said:

I am dying at the poops one.

That one just happened. It was that one that made me think you guys might enjoy the rest. I love my kid, but sometimes he's crazy!

CarrieB.

This is what I've heard lately. DD1 is almost 3.

In reference to the spaghetti I made for dinner. "This looks good enough to eat."

As I brought up the laundry. "You washed my jeans Mom! That's awesome!"

Toddler compliments are hilarious.

barista411

DD the other day was going potty and this was our conversation:
Me: " Nana why are hitting your leg?"
DD: "I'm trying to push the poop out."

Then later she followed me into the bathroom and after I went she said: "Good job mommy! High Five! Do you want some M&Ms for going potty?"

She is also obsessed with Frozen so I asked her if she wanted me to do her hair like Elsa and she said: "No mama! I'm Anna not Elsa. Your Elsa, remember?"

She also completed acted out and sang the entire scene from Frozen of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman. It was so cute.

ETA: Everyday for the last 4 months she has ran into our room in the morning yelling Merry Christmas! Also yesterday was her birthday and any time someone said happy birthday to her she would say "Happy Birthday to you too."

CarrieB.

We are also obsessed w Frozen. I asked A if she like Ana or Elsa better and she said "Elsa, because she builds bridges." I thought that was a pretty cool answer. You can be an engineer and a girl w a pretty dress.

PirateMonster

LibberDuck said:

So I thought it might be fun for some of us STMs to share funny things our toddlers (or older kids) say so that the FTMs can have something to look forward to. Here are some recent, word-for-word statements my 3 year-old has made: In reference to me coming into his room: "Don't come in here. It's my house. I didn't buy it, daddy bought it. Daddy's going to build me a new house like Bob the Builder." In reference to me shutting his window: "Don't close my window! Molly [our dog] doesn't want you to close my window! I'm feeling sick. The wind will help me feel better. It makes me talk like Norman." In reference to DH being busy at work: "Daddy's getting dirty mommy! Daddy's getting dirty! He needs to take a bath. He needs to take a shower! I don't want daddy to get dirty! Because I want to keep him clean! But I'm not keeping him clean now. He's going and playing in dirt without me. I'm getting bigger like daddy [while eating]." In reference to a toy he wants, while driving: "You turned, mommy. We need to go to the store! I need that excavator! I don't have an excavator. I need an excavator!" In reference to potty training: "Oooooh man, I can't get my poops out! Can you help me get my poops out?? It's hard work!" What funny things have your kids said recently?

It is hard work, buddy, very hard work.

amom333

DD1 is definitely a little mommy to DD2.  When DD2 does tummy time, DD1 always says "Good job! Lift your head up!  Good job!" and when DD2 gets upset she goes over and says "It's okay.  I'll pick you up." then proceeds to try to pick up DD2 who is huge, especially compared to my tiny DD1.  She also does the same thing for her dolls - she nurses them, changes their diapers, shushes them to sleep and when they fall down, asks for ice for their heads. 

Oh and DD1 also enjoys pooping.  She likes to tell me she's doing a "scary poop" every time she goes to the bathroom.  It is definitely scary how much a little person can make!

Kaymee

Lately when I say something DS1 doesn't like, he responds with, "what did you sayyyyyy mom?"

He also told me recently he's going to take all of the coins out of his piggy bank and take me to disney world.

Kaymee

kamakaziartist said:

Kaymee said:

He also told me recently he's going to take all of the coins out of his piggy bank and take me to disney world.

THAT is adorable.

I know! He really is the sweetest boy. Steals my heart everyday!

hologram87

DD just turned 4 and the other day asked me who was going to put a baby in her belly.  I told her that she would have a husband and then he would.  She asked how many kids she was going to have and then told me 8.  4 boys and 4 girls.

Also, when she wants to do something, she will give me all the specifics and then say "sound like a plan?  thumbs up?"

Every day she says something that cracks me up!

beccaxbooxbear

I was rocking and singing to ds1 before his nap yesterday and he looked up at me and said "love you" for the first time and gave me a kiss! My heart melted instantly! Best day ever!

Eta: forgot to add that ds1 is 19 months

EandIMommy86

DD is just learning to talk. She has been walking around the house the last two days saying uh oh to everything. A few weeks ago I asked her to come to her room with me and she said "why?" I said its diaper change time. She looks at the tag on the changing table and goes "whaidish" which I took that to mean what is this. Lol. I never heard her say it since.