Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
stephy1221
member
modern grief processing*ticker warning*
stephy1221
member
So of course we are all here on this board so we know this is one way the internet has changed the way we process our grief.
I also set up a private interest board with some amazing quotes and articles. There are so many pins and boards about pregnancy loss, it hurts my heart. I know too there are so many more that I don't see because they are private like mine.
I also have a butterfly album with us pics, a bump pic (bloat pic), pic of the flowers dh got me after bfp etc.
How about you all? My grief definitely has a larger online life than offline.
Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*
BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15
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Re: modern grief processing*ticker warning*
I've dealt with losses both before and after I started using any social media, and the only things I do online that I didn't do offline is this message board. I write in my blog now instead of in a physical journal and I am on here a LOT. I talk about my loss when it's bothering me to people IRL just as I would talk about anything else that was happening in my life. When I start feeling bad I try to do something useful.
I don't like to keep u/s photos after a loss. Maybe it's harsh, but I just can't handle it. My OB now doesn't even print them off except at the anatomy scan and I'm so thankful for that. I carried around Jackson's baby blanket with me for years, but two years ago I was at Walmart and it was freezing out and I was in line behind a couple with a little baby boy and they were searching for change just to buy him diapers and formula. He had a ragged blanket and no coat, so I decided then that it was time to give it up and I gave it to them. Whenever I start missing my babies I've decided to just do something to help babies that are struggling. I donate boxes of diapers or formula to the women's shelter a lot.
It's the only way I've found to make me feel better no matter what. I've decided to get a tattoo to symbolize all my losses, though. After this loss I just feel like I want to have something with me, and I don't wear jewelry. I don't know. I'm still working on a design.
Sorry, I got really long winded there.
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*
*Safkas are the little guys from the XBLA game ilomilo. It's a really fun and cute puzzle game. Ilo and Milo used to dance in my siggy, but after my loss I had to change it. But in the game Ilo and Milo are stuck on opposite sides of the map and you have to get them to meet up and there are Safkas in each level that you collect along the way. Here's a picture of them.
Married: 9/25/10
TTC # 1 since 5/2013
BFP # 1: 2/7/14, mmc 3/12/14, D&C 3/19/14
Boy, Trisomy 13, Karyotyping and Genetic Testing all normal
Hysteroscopy and D&C 6/2/14, retained tissue
Off the bench 7/14
BFP # 2: 10/3/14, Blighted ovum, D&C 11/12/14
Girl, no chromosomal abnormalities detected
RPL Testing: Pre-diabetic, ANA+
"I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it." - e.e. cummings
BFP #1: 05/2012 DS born 12/30/12
BFP #2: 02/2014 Natural M/C 03/2014 @ 7 weeks
BFP #3: 06/2014 EDD: 02/17/2015 M/C @ 7w2d, D&E 7/15/14
I really also love the idea of donating. I know not everyone here is religious, but the idea still applies. I was listening to Joyce Meyer while working out a while back and she was talking about how her mama always pushed her to do for others when she felt rotten. I've tried it and I agree that I helps. Thanks for the reminder. I think we will do that this week.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
(((Hugs)))
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
***LIVING CHILD MENTIONED***
I decided I wanted to do something nice for a baby 'in need'. I'm still breast feeding my 15 month old. I did some research and will be providing donor milk to NICU and sick babies or babies in need of milk. Tomorrow morning is my first 'drop off'. I will be donating 70 ounces of my breast milk to a baby (and mama) in need. It has truly lifted my spirits in such an amazing way. Just looking at the beautiful little girl that will be nourished in some way by my body makes me feel like my body hasn't truly failed me after all.
Just wanted to share. I'm actually really excited about tomorrow.