DAMNIT. TB ate my vent post. Ugh!
In sum - I had a checkup with my OB today. Everything was normal - including my stanky night sweats, chills, feeling flu like and having a horrid headache. Great... They should go away and there's nothing I can do about it until then.
I'm annoyed because I didn't feel comfortable asking all the questions I had, and I'm looking for another OB to consult with.
I'm off the bench from vaginal and pelvic rest as soon as I stop bleeding.
She doesn't seem to grasp that my cervix looked odd because my uterus is pulling it back. She also thinks that my back pain was in no way shape or form related to the pregnancy. At. All.
FFS. Look at this graphic. Tell me that a uterus pulled severely in this direction couldn't compress disks. I know it happened at 6 weeks pregnant. I know my uterus was still small then. But I was bloated like no tomorrow, and you think it couldn't cause any compression? Really?!
Maybe she's right. I don't think so because I've dealt with this long enough to know a little about it (the back pain, not uterus) ... So I'm looking for another OBGYN to consult with.
Also I find it a cruel trick of the universe that as I was walking out from discussing my failed pregnancy, my SIL walked in for a perfectly normal 37 week check up. Everything is just puppies and rainbows for her... Little frilly pink ruffled outfits and nursery decor... Preparing her DS to be a big brother... So bloated and tired that she can't wait to have her healthy little bundle of joy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her, but it seems seriously fucked up at the moment. I can't see her right now. I'm so anxious for how in the face she will be and how much positive attention she will get in a few weeks when I feel like I'm broken and in the background... Now I know it's her birth and baby. It's not about me. But it hurts.
I want to be a good aunt to my little niece, but the thought of being supportive through it makes me ache.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix