How have you changed? — The Bump
August 2012 Moms

How have you changed?

A co-worker just commented to me that I never buy new clothes or purses anymore. We used to always compare recent purchases and I used to be obsessed with finding the cutest dresses, purses, etc. I think this year I have only bought a couple of new things from the Gap and I am carrying the same purse as when Jeffrey was born! (I used to buy a fancy new purse every 6 months or so). Also I have realized I am much less career-driven now that I have a son. My boss recently asked me what my long term goals were and although I didn't say this, I really just want a job so I can help pay the bills!

How have things changed for you since LO was born, in terms of priorities changing or anything else?
Tapthathankvic8504

Re: How have you changed?

  • basically, my standards for everything have dropped ;) -- house cleanliness, meal preparation/variety, organization, clothing. this is mostly good, because i was pretty uptight about most of those things.


    TapthathankJeffreysmom24JulieMarie21
  • I feel like I did a 180 on some things and a 360 (back to pre-baby) on other things.  
    The 360's:
    -Prior to DS I was a healthy eater, and exercise crazy, then when I had DS my weight or my pre-wedding weight was not a priority at all.  Now that he is getting older and eating the same food as us: modeling a healthy lifestyle for him has become a priority again.  I try to make sure that I am cooking healthy and wholesome and incorporating fruits and veggies into all of our meals is important these days.  
    -I have also made time for myself to exercise (like prior to baby) a priority because it is the one thing I do for myself it alleviates stress and makes me a better person, with more energy to devote to DS and DH!!
    -I find myself cleaning the house much more now that DS is active, and in order for me to have exercise space.  DS likes to help clean up too!.... I know I am growing up- because a clean house makes me a happy person :)
    The 180's:
    I barely spend money on myself, only buy myself clothes if it is completely necessary, maybe get a pedicure 1-2x a year, and only get my hair done 1-2x a year
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  • I take very little time for myself. Before the boys, even though I had DD, I took time at least once a week to get away or just be alone. Now with three kids I feel guilty doing that, not to mention my time is precious anyway. I also only vacuum once a week versus 2 to 3 times a week before the boys. I also spend less time with DH which is not a good thing but just a fact of life. I drink more but that's because I'm older and more stressed with work/life/balance. I'm sure there is much more but these are just a few of the things that come to mind.
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  • I never go out any more. I used to go out with friends maybe 2x per week and with DH once per week but now I just don't want to. Date night once a month is enough.

    I have bought myself clothes twice since DD was born. I used to be a huge clothes horse.

    DH and I hardly share interests any more. We used to watch TV together, plan trips, etc, but now I don't have time for that. We seem to have different priorities nowadays.
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  • shakinros said:

    I never go out any more. I used to go out with friends maybe 2x per week and with DH once per week but now I just don't want to. Date night once a month is enough.

    I have bought myself clothes twice since DD was born. I used to be a huge clothes horse.

    DH and I hardly share interests any more. We used to watch TV together, plan trips, etc, but now I don't have time for that. We seem to have different priorities nowadays.

    Shakinros- I think it is great that you and DH have regular date nights, even once a month! DH and I haven't gone out in forever. I feel bad because he is way more social than me and probably misses it more. And I can relate to what you said about DH. Mine is always complaining that after I get home from work, take care of and put Jeffrey to bed and do my chores, I have nothing left for him - unfortunately he is right! I normally just want to take a bubble bath and go to bed. I need to work on that!
    shakinros
  • I have been steadfastly refusing to change any of my standards or personality traits.  So I would say that the way I've changed is that I am at a high stress level at all times.  But I don't want to compromise and want to believe I can still be and do everything I was and did before a child.
    Jeffreysmom24
  • piphigirl said:
    I have been steadfastly refusing to change any of my standards or personality traits.  So I would say that the way I've changed is that I am at a high stress level at all times.  But I don't want to compromise and want to believe I can still be and do everything I was and did before a child.

    I was a little bit like this with just one kid, who is pretty easy and a good sleeper. Now that we've had #2 and they're so close in age, I've accepted that I'm now a normal boring suburban working mom :). I am just in survival mode for now and trying to keep everyone as healthy and happy as possible. I'll concern myself more with my personal priorities like travel and me time as the kids get older.
    BFP #1 9/2010 (lost our baby at 21 weeks) BFP #2 8/2011 (ectopic pregnancy) BFP #3 10/2011 (chemical pregnancy) BFP #4 12/2011 (Abigail born 8/15/12) BFP #5 5/2013 (Griffin born 1/23/14 with heart defects, now repaired!)

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    Jeffreysmom24


  • Shakinros- I think it is great that you and DH have regular date nights, even once a month! DH and I haven't gone out in forever. I feel bad because he is way more social than me and probably misses it more. And I can relate to what you said about DH. Mine is always complaining that after I get home from work, take care of and put Jeffrey to bed and do my chores, I have nothing left for him - unfortunately he is right! I normally just want to take a bubble bath and go to bed. I need to work on that!

    I do love date night! I recommend it for sure, even once a month. Then I feel way less bad about the fact that I just want to go to bed right after dinner & clean up, lol.
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    Jeffreysmom24
  • Reilly626Reilly626 member
    250 Answers 2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    I agree with you. The first year I was dedicated to them as a stay at home mom, this year as I juggle my career and daycare And colds and cuddling and playing with them and being there for my husband I'm happy with my hair and makeup getting done. Purses now need to be body hugging as I need my hands to hold theirs. Their needs are first, their lunches etc. I don't have the time for myself. And after they go down I'm so beat I'm down not so long after. Guess I feel old :( but loved by two of the greatest little people :)

    I treat myself to house cleaners twice a month. I just don't have the time, I recommend it!!
    Jeffreysmom24[Deleted User]
  • My habits haven't really changed - Evie just kind of slid right into our life and fits like a glove. We did quit smoking, which is good. I've become much more passionate about women's rights and children's welfare. I'm still trying to fit ways into my schedule to help out at local shelters. I don't have a lot of power, but I want my daughter to see that she is strong and wonderful, and I want her to see me trying to change the world in that direction.
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