Irrational Mom Fear

TXmamatobe

I know this is so dumb but I have this terrible fear that my LO will ‘forget’ me now that I’m back at work.  I know, I know, this is completely irrational but it has really been getting to me.  I’m hoping this weirdness subsides as time goes on and that I’ll get a grip on reality but in the meantime, it almost makes me cry sitting here in my office.  I would love to hear how others have dealt with this – FTM, STM, anyone!  Am I the only ridiculous one among us?!  

lilypienmessimy

Just want you know, I would absolutely feel the same exact way! I'm a SAHM but honestly I would be a crazy lady and be thinking the same and probably more and worse irrational fears! You aren't ridiculous, I think it's completely normal! :x

lollipoppoop

I spent all day yesterday crying about this exact same thing.  My first day was yesterday.  It probably doesn't help that I sit here and look at all her pictures.

amdftw

I felt the same way as you, and still do a little bit.  But when he grins at me in the morning and snuggles with me in the evenings I know he still knows who is mama is.

Hang in there, it will get better... probably slower than you want it to, but it will.

lynngotts

I feel the same way. Especially when they tell me that he didn't cry at all while he was there, and then I take him home and he is crying. It makes me feel like he would rather be with them

Marchmellow2

Sorry you're feeling that way! While the fear is completely normal and not irrational. It's also untrue! It's scientifically proven that even if babies are seperated from their Moms at birth or for a long period of time, babies, even toddlers (who haven't seen Mom in more than a year) still know Mom's scent. No one can replace that love bond. So rest assured, you won't be forgotten or replaced. Hang in there ladies your babies love you more than anyone else in this world!

Whitterpow

I was worried about this too, but it wasn't an issue. He still loves me and I feel like he recognizes me when he sees me. Working is so hard for me knowing I'm not getting that time with him. It gets easier and then harder and then a little easier. I'm sure it will go in waves though.

TXmamatobe

Thanks ladies. Yesterday was OK because it was the first day and it was kind of fun to get back in the office and see some people.  Then today it hit me that I have to do this every day, M-F, and not just once.  I’m ready to win the lottery now or go on vacation for the next 60 years. 

On a side note, I ordered some of the cutest spring headbands from Ryan and Wren today in an effort to make myself feel better.  Retail therapy.  I may have also bought some rosette bloomers…oops.  

74dragonfly

Hugs! It rough going back to work. I am still job hunting so not back to work to yet with DS. i went back to work when DD was 13 weeks. She and I have a super tight bond. I think what made the difference is when I am not working I am with her. I dont do many mommy outings but it was a sacrifice I made. (I do some but mostly weekends are time for family). I read a book by moms of famous kids and the central theme was being there when you are there, being involved with homework, being connected and present. My house is messier than I like, I dont do pinterest worthy crafts, etc. when my DD was around I and i was off work I gave her the majority of my attention. 

imrachellea

@TXmamatobe‌ If you want to win the lottery, tonight is the night to play!

I don't fear so much that she'll forget me, but that she'll be angry I left her...

GTown08

When a friend of mine shared that she was worried her child would forget her while at daycare, this friend's mother responded: "does your dog forget you when you leave him in the kennel for the weekend?" The friend responded "Of course not.  He's always thrilled to see me coming to take him home."  The mother replied, "And you think your child is less aware of you than your dog?" 

The point is, I think this is a normal fear, but I also think it is a little unfounded.  Your child knows you inside and out and it's gonna take more than a few hours for him or her to forget you.  It just helps me to remember that my kid is smarter/more aware than my dogs - although sometimes I wonder ;-)