Lost my baby 2 weeks ago.. HD cousin had her baby yesterday — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Lost my baby 2 weeks ago.. HD cousin had her baby yesterday

I know I should be happy for them they are a great couple, but after losing my baby and see there brand new son just feels like a kick in the teeth.

With Easter next month is anyone else going to avoid family holidays so you don't have to see new babies?? Love my DH family but it just hurts seeing there healthy beautiful baby when I know I should have been expecting my own..  


Re: Lost my baby 2 weeks ago.. HD cousin had her baby yesterday

  • I'm sorry for your loss but you are not alone in how you feel. I have only been to one baby party in the past year and a half (I have had two m/cs in that time period). It was a party for one of my close cousin's kids and it was SO hard to get thru. I have politely declined every other party since then. At this point I don't care if people think I am being selfish. Most of my close friends and family have an idea of what we have been thru so they will just need to understand. I know I would if they were in my situation. DH and I are going away for spring break so we won't be around for Easter and I plan to have both of our moms over for mothers day breakfast since going out for that holiday was torture for me last year seeing all of the happy moms. I am so sorry you are going thru this but I recommend not being too hard on itself. Everyone deals with loss in her own way and the people who truly care will let you heal in your own way.
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


  • My SIL is due any day now. I'm trying to make an effort to talk to her when I feel sane enough.

    I'm freaked out about how I will feel for her delivery.

    ***prior pregnancy mentioned***

    I had a complicated and traumatic delivery with DS. 11 months later she had an uncomplicated delivery at full term. Her delivery was hard but beautiful for me to experience with her (she let me in the room except for when it was time to push and immediately after). I was happy for her although I wanted what she had.

    I'm going to try to draw from that to support her this time, but I point blank told her that I was sorry if I needed to bow out. She understands... I explained that it had nothing to do with my joy for them but rather than healing from our loss.

    I find that being tactful but straight forward is important to communicate boundaries without harming relationships.

    GL... (((Hugs)))


    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome


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    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    My best friend is having #3. I went with her to her u/s to help shuttle the kids around. I had promused to go before i was preg then lost. She said I didn't have to follow thru but I did surprisingly well. But I know its not the same as seeing that baby laying in her arms. I'm relieved that time is still a ways off.
    Something that I think has helped me is a homeopathic remedy. I have never been a believer in the 'sugar pills' but the calm I feel with it has helped take the edge of the rollercoaster I have been one for 5 weeks. Its called ignatia if you're interested.
  • Right there with you. DHs cousin just had her baby a few weeks ago. I was pregnant with her then miscarried. Our due dates were 3 weeks apart. To top it off I miscarried for the 2nd time a month ago. We visited her in the hospital because I felt a sense of obligation to. Every time I see a picture I almost break down. Oh and did I mention the father of the baby has openly said he doesn't want the baby?!? I have been avoiding DHs family for the most part. It is helping but then I feel guilty for not going to functions. I can't win!!
  • @ASRDH‌ can you tell me more about those pills in a private messages?
  • young40young40
    First Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2014
    I totally understand how you feel! I miscarried a month ago, and immediately after I found out that my SIL is pregnant. Yesterday I found out that my dad's wife's daughter is expecting in July, and today I learned that a friend of mine, who I haven't seen in awhile, is 16 weeks pregnant!

    I completely broke down yesterday, because my dad seemed so happy that he was going to be a grandfather; I never told him I was pregnant because we were waiting until at least 12 weeks to share the news with everyone, but I lost the baby at 8 weeks. I never told him about the miscarriage.
    My brother already told him, and my SIL is only 7 weeks along. I felt awful because I should have been sharing the news of my pregnancy with my father, and then even worse because I started to wonder if I should have told him when I was earlier along.
    As soon as I feel like I'm starting to heal and move on, I find out that someone else close to me is pregnant. I too feel like I just can't win :-(
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