Just need to vent

ambmama

**ticker warning**

I know you are all going through hard times, so I feel bad just venting, but I really don't know where else to turn. I haven't told anyone besides my DH and a friend what is going on yet. We were planning to tell my family about the pregnancy this upcoming weekend, but obviously now it's different. I've picked up the phone to call them a few times, but just the thought of telling the whole story seems exhausting right now. I just can't do it.

I'm feeling like complete crap and I'm just stuck in limbo. I'm nauseous, cramping, having terrible back pain, and I have an awful headache. Tylenol is doing nothing and they don't want me to take anything else until it's 'confirmed.' Not to mention I'm still bleeding, and that's just so uncomfortable in itself. On top of that, I've just been stuck in limbo and it's driving me insane. After passing the clots and embryo this weekend, I really thought today's dr appt would be pretty straight forward. Of course not. She did an internal exam and sent me for blood work (beta). It was low on Thursday so she wants to compare before sending me for the u/s. Well it's now 4 and I haven't heard from them, so I guess I'll probably hear tomorrow. Then I will have to do the u/s. Then another doctor's appt to discuss it and the next steps. I just don't understand why they have to drag this process out so long. I'm sure it's normal, but it's felt like an eternity, especially since I've been bleeding for almost 2 weeks. I'm so stressed and frustrated - I actually cried today when my phone rang and it wasn't the doctor. I know you all have felt the same, but I would really like closure on the physical part of this so I can try to start dealing emotionally. Breaking down regularly isn't working well in the rest of my life.

Thanks for listening - just getting my thoughts out was at least a little therapeutic.

gabbagal

I'm so sorry, this time is the absolute worst! I hated all the appointments, ultrasounds, follow-ups, blood draws every few days over a 10 or so day period, most of which was preceded by a long wait in an office filled with visibly pregnant women. It felt like an eternity! So much emotional and physical pain added on top is just horrendous. I also tried taking Tylenol for fear of anything stronger, just in case, and it did nothing. A heating pad was the only thing that brought me physical comfort, but it was still minimal. I really wish this limbo ends soon for you, b/c as you said, once the physical part is over you really can start to focus on the emotional healing without all that other garbage. Sending hugs and wishes for some quick and good results!

KingLED

I'm so sorry you're going through all that. It does seem strange that it's being dragged out like that, though. How many betas have they drawn? Call the doctors office before they close and ask about the labs. If you had them drawn early enough today they might have them back. If not, call a little before their lunch break tomorrow to check on them if they haven't called. It's strange to me that they're waiting so long before doing an u/s to confirm. I'm so sorry.

Leahandshaughn

honey you vent away! I know we all feel like you are and need to let it out. At least on this page we know exactly how you feel and very understanding. It is a hard thing to wait when you know what happened. My doctor wanted me to go to the last ultrasound so I know for sure that my baby was gone but I saw no point. i didn't need that fact that i lost my child pushed in my face anymore than it already was.  I'm so sorry on your situation and please post more rants if you need too, if it helps you feel better we are here to listen and here to support each other

stephy1221

I am sorry, that sounds very frustrating. I would be agitated too. I hope they get you your results and and u/s scheduled asap. The last thing you need is this dragged out longer.

Maxsmommy123112

I totally empathize. There are so many things that add "insult to injury" when you have a miscarriage...the physical pain, having to deal with people around you, all the doctors appointments. I felt like, isn't losing my baby enough!? But I have to deal with all of this other bull**** too?! It's very frustrating, annoying and emotionally exhausting.

I am a month and a half out and last Thursday I had FOUR doctors appointments.

I feel you, hang in there. I hope things start to settle down for you soon so you can focus on healing.

AggieBeth06

I'm no doctor, but it makes no sense to me why they wouldn't allow you to take something other than Tylenol when you know you passed the embryo. I think you have every right to vent about this. I would be pissed for it to be dragging out to long. That isn't normal for me, and I admire you for being patient. I probably would have broken down or freaked out in their office today.

It's hard enough to lose a baby, but when it drags on and you don't feel supported by your medical staff... the hurt is magnified!

JCM285

I'm so sorry for your loss. The doctor for Mr is the total opposite. I had a m/c about a month ago and went in for an ultrasound when I started bleeding. She confirmed it was a chemical pregnancy and then I never heard from them again. I guess its either they torture you with appointments or else don't want anything to do with you? Either way its disheartening and unfair. I hope you get some answers soon!

ambmama

Well I finally broke down and called last night - of course their office closed at 4 so I missed them. I called today and was put into a call triage and had to leave a message. So frustrating. @AggieBeth06‌ it almost seems like they don't trust what I saw, but for anyone who has ever gone through that, there really isn't a question. @EllyD14‌ they only did one beta in the er and now this is the 2nd. This all happened from thurs night- Monday, so there was no way to get more draws unless I went back to the er.

Thanks for letting me vent. I agree that when this stuff isn't handled right by doctors, they really can add to your pain. I know if I end up deciding to ttc again, I will not go to this ob. (I was a new patient).

@JCM285‌ that's absolutely terrible - I'm sorry that they just dismissed you like that. I don't understand how they can feel that is professional or ethical.

AggieBeth06

Hope you hear something back from them soon!

(((hugs)))

ambmama

*ticker warning*

Well I finally got my beta - it had been 7450 Thursday night and was 785 Monday. That's obviously a pretty clear miscarriage, so at least I got my formal medical answer. I go back next Monday to get another beta - hoping I was a lucky one and this all will happen naturally.

Maxsmommy123112

So sad for your update. Hang in there. Thinking of you. We're here if you need us. ((HUGS))

AggieBeth06

(((Hugs)))

Ourbubblytoes

I'm so sorry that the news isn't good but I'm glad you're finally getting some answers. I hope this entire process is over for you soon.