I'm having some issues with MIL and I am unsure whether my concerns are valid or if I am being a crazy/irrational new mom. MIL visited us a week ago to see LO. She currently lives five states away- 16 hours by car and 2 hours by plane, but we will be moving closer to her and to my family in three months. Anyway, when she visited last week, I was initially very happy to turn over LO. I was exhausted and she provided much needed relief from a colicky baby. However, after a couple of days, I noticed that she never let LO down. She held him constantly. Numerous times, I asked to feed him (he eats pumped breast milk mainly due to latch issues) or to change his diapers or just to hold him and she responded. "No, I've got him." I felt like an outsider in my LO's life. She planted herself on our couch holding LO, with DH and FIL on either side of her, and I sat in a chair several feet away. I felt totally shut out. She also made a couple of comments about how she was glad LO was having nursing problems because it meant she could bottle feed him. These comments stung. Specifically, she said "I think it's a good thing he is preferring the bottle. He wants his grandma to feed him." and "I think he fusses so much because you keep trying to nurse him. " (I continue to attempt to get LO to latch or to breast feed LO with the nipple shield a couple of times a day.)
Since her visit she has planned two more visits because "she just can't be away from LO."
Now, to be fair, this is her first grandchild and she is excited and I initially told her she was welcome anytime.. Also, perhaps the comments regarding nursing were just an attempt to make me feel better because I've been so upset that LO won't latch. And I can see how it is unfair of me to hand over LO when I am tired, but to then expect to get him back when I am rested.
Anybody else go through this? How did you handle it?