Family feud over baby name... — The Bump
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Family feud over baby name...

My husband and I have had our sons name picked out for close to 7 years now. It was his uncles name and they where very very close. We have always like the name and the fact that it was his uncles name made it that much more special to us also we had pick this name before his passing. Now that we are having a boy and have told about his name to family, my husbands cousin witch is his uncles granddaughter is angered because we want to use this name as she said she wanted to use it if she ever has a boy. she already has a girl and when she was pregnant before she new she was having a girl she never thought to use this name if it where a boy before her grandfathers passing. Also she is using a different version of this name so there names would not be the exact same. I would just like some advice and honest opinions on this please no bashing. Thank you

Re: Family feud over baby name...

  • I personally would still use the name.  The kids will be second cousins or first cousins twice removed ( I honestly don't know) and I believe that is far enough removed for it to be ok.  

    His cousin will probably be upset, but oh well.  No one can claim names.  
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  • Post this on the Baby Names board. You'll get a lot of good advice.

    If I'm following correctly, your husband and his cousin want to use a similar name to honor the same member of the family. You are pregnant, she is not.

    I see some missing information. Are your H and this woman close (they might be able to discuss it like grown ups)? Are the kids going to be spending a lot of time together (if so, this could be more of an issue than if they get together every couple of years)? How similar are the 2 name variations? How angry is she really? Is she more disappointed that your H gets to use the name first? And how common is this name?

    Generally speaking, names can't really be spoken for. You like the name, it honors an important family member, and everyone should be happy it's being used. And it's not unheard of for the same name to pop up in various branches of a family tree. My family has the same name for 3 generations of women, and another name for 4 generations of men. No one is upset about this.

    However, you can always use it as a MN if it's going to cause a major rift in the family.


  • The name is jack and she wanted to use Jackson. My H has tried to call her several times and she will not discuss this with him at all. They used to be really close but know that this is an issue I feel that there relationship is not going to be the same weather the name is used or not. When we had brought it up before his passing it was never an issue. Its really hard to try and name him something else because it seems that this has been his name for ever. My H and I have both been trying really hard to find another name and it seems imposable. Also when we found out we where have a boy my family and his family would say oh it a boy so your going to call him jack right? because that is what we had always planed on.. Now we are at a loss at what to do...

  • Name him John and call him Jack. Jack is a NN for John. YourH's cousin can call him John and everyone else wil call him Jack.

    Or just tell her it isn't that big of a deal. My step dad's family names all of their first sons after their deceased father so there are three first cousins named Joe. It's an honor not a joke. She needs to chill out and be grateful that her father was so well liked.
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  • Use the name! She doesn't own it!

    BFP #1 3/19/14 • EDD 11/26/14 • MC 4/26/14 at 9w3d • BFP #2 10/10/14 • EDD 6/20/15

  • First: spelling. Its not "witch" Its "Which" and "knew" is not "new".

    And it's not "Its", it is "it's". As in, "it is". Not a possessive of a noun.

    Not trying to be an @$$ (truly, I'm not), or make an enemy, and I am far from perfect myself... but all I'm saying is people in glass houses...

    That's all :)

    TTC #1 since August 2013 (on BCP for 9 years)

    Attempt #1 - Aug 2013 = BFP! --> EDD May 12, 2014 (Day after Mother's Day)

    • HB 140 @ 7w4d. MMC @ 10w (HB stopped 8w3d). After 2 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C October 2013. AF returned 56 days later. Advised to wait one cycle (December 2013)

    Attempt #2 - January 2014 = BFP! --> EDD October 13, 2014 (Canadian Thanksgiving, on 1 year anniversary of first loss)

    • HB 102 @ 6w4d. MMC @ 11w1d (HB stopped 7w4d). After 4 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C April 2014. AF returned 29 days later. Did testing for RPL - all normal. Was told can TTC again (May 2014)

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    • u/s @ 6w showed sac, no HB. Second u/s @ 6w5d - HB detected but low. Third u/s @ 8w - HB 150! Fourth u/s @ 9w3d - HB in the 160's! Fifth u/s @ 11w3d - HB 172, baby measuring a day ahead!
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    nicole061687[Deleted User]wintersong139
  • I'd use the name anyway.  It sounds like naming your child Jack is more important to you and your H than saving face with this angry cousin...especially since she isn't even having a son, right?  
    Even if the cousin does name her son Jackson it won;t be  a big deal.  My first name is Christina and my brother's name is Christopher...they;re similar but whatever.  
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