ANSWERED: The "Books vs. Cards" / "Diaper Raffle" debate made me think...

TantiveIV

It's pretty clear that most people hear have a strong opinion either way on these baby shower practices. Personally, I've attended many baby showers and have no problem following the cute little instruction poems that suggest an extra something in addition to the gift I was planning on bringing. For me, it just means that I have less to spend on the the thing I actually wanted to get off of the registry. And, as a frequent baby shower attendee, I love that you have a registry because it means that I can be assured that I'm getting you something you truly want/ need. Here's my question: I'm now the one who is being given a baby shower. (It's my first. I'm excited.) Is there anything wrong with just adding (in addition to the usual baby necessities typically found on a baby registry) a bunch of books we'd like for baby and an assortment of diapers in the brand/ sizes that we're anticipating needing? Is it rude to be that specific or to have a registry that gets a little bigger because all of those extras have been added? Will it look greedy? My intention in doing this is to provide people who would like to give a gift a variety of things to choose from, and the freedom to shop at a price point they are comfortable with. What do you think of this plan? Update: Thanks for all of the great input ladies. I appreciate your help!

Helenahhandbasket

It's not weird or wrong at all.  IMO, that's the polite way to get books at your baby shower if you want them.

 

 

VOR

Adding them to your registry is fine.

74dragonfly

Helenahhandbasket said:

It's not weird or wrong at all.  IMO, that's the polite way to get books at your baby shower if you want them.

 

 

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sschwege

To answer your question, it's a great idea to registry for those things!

To address your first few sentences I wanted to say that while some people don't mind the cute little poem and are happy to follow the uh requests?  Some do so begrudgingly or not at all for a variety of reasons.  1) As pp said it makes it seem as if giving diapers or what have you is not a real gift.  What if you 'only' ever give diapers at a shower?  Then what?  Do you throw them in the raffle or wrap them up and give them with the gifts? 2) What if your budget is on the more modest side of things?  Purchasing a book instead of a card and throwing diapers in a raffle doesn't leave much left if anything for something to wrap up to give to the MTB.

I get where your coming from because truthfully 95% of the time I hate buying cards, they can be kind of pricey and let's face it more often than not they probably end up in the trash eventually.  So I always do a book instead of a card for a baby shower, I don't like cards and am a teacher so I love to read, perfect...for me.  That's the difference I choose to do it, it's not being mandated to me in the form of a cute little poem.

jf198400

I have to be honest I think diapers on a registry is absolutely pointless (unless you are CDing). If I wanted to buy you something as absolutely dull as diapers I'd probably buy it wherever it's on sale, not necessarily where you registered. Also you have no idea how many of each size you will need until LO is here, or necessarily what brand either. And those boxes take up a lot of storage space to have them just sitting around for months until you need them. But hey, it's your registry go ahead and do what you want.

SingleMom31

I think it's a lovely idea. We got a handful of packages of diapers as gifts, and we used them all. I do think people tend to buy them wherever they shop vs off the registry, but it didn't end up being a problem since we didn't need to exchange any.

I also agree with the sentiments that diapers as a gift are overlooked. I hosted a shower last weekend and added diapers in since the "main thing" wasn't quite enough. Afterwards, I found out that her husband had a diaper party the weekend before and they have a ton already. It kind of made me feel a little... Cheap almost?

TantiveIV

Thanks for all you input. I just wanted to make sure adding all of that wouldn't make me seem greedy.

ThereBeDragons

I have a lot of books on my registry specifically so people would know which ones to buy to add to our library without recieving multiple copies of DHs and my favorites (we traditionally give a copy of each of our favorites to every new baby in our lives so everyone knows them- also we are book geeks so we have a bunch of baby books already) or leaving non-parents baffled by the variety to choose from. Plus it fluffs out the registry a bit in the lower cost range so no one has to feel like the higher end items on the list are the only choice. I wanted it to be easy to put together a cute gift at the 20 and 50$ range with books toys and clothes.

debikae

Please register for those things.  Yesterday I was shopping for a baby shower gift.  Imagine my surprise to see that the couple had only registered for "large" items -- most of which were only available online.  I could spend $200+ or I could go away from the registry and just buy something.  I did go off the registry and bought a nice gift (between $40 & $50), but it would have been nice to have had some options so I would have known it was something they would like.

Jags8

I think it's absolutely fine to put those items on your registry. Registries are simply suggestions from which attendees can choose.

Pepper6

I had the same thought, and made a post about it where the ladies were very helpful in offering suggestions about which books to add.  Here's the link if you want to take a look:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12278536/baby-childrens-books#latest 

kimberpoo

putting those items on your registry is a GREAT idea! lots of people, especially those who have LO's of their own, will get diapers and other small essentials in addition to, or instead of, a larger gift. if you don't put those things on there, people will be searching for them and you will probably end up with a lot of texts about what brand, size, etc. (I did). also, putting lots of those smaller things on the registry is great so the guests have more options on what to buy.

I didn't put a ton of diapers/books/non-essential items on my registry and my MIL, aunts, family, friends, all started texting me a few weeks before the shower saying I needed to add more stuff. don't be afraid to have too much on there! I ended up going online and back to the store to add more and give everyone more options. I still got all the necessities, plus tons of cute and thoughtful non-essentials (books, teethers, small toys, etc)