Baby Showers

Do I bring a gift?

I do not know quite where to start here... I am due Aug 25 and I casually brought up that I was pregnant to a couple friends (I am czech/slovak and pregnancies are not that exciting where i come from). They are american and started sort of screaming and got really happy and asked to "do my shower". I honestly thought they meant they wanted to come over and attach hardware to my shower in my bathing room to bathe the baby... I was confused and said okay, wondering if they were hiring a construction worker or doing it themselves. I have only lived in America for 3 years and been speaking english for 5, I did not have American friends with my son's pregnancy so I had not heard of this. Moving on to point...

Once I looked at this site more, this board generally, I found that they were these parties, and there was all kinds of opinions on them. I told my friends I had no idea what to expect with them. They asked a friend who is due April (they are also give her party) if I could come watch her shower party since I never have been at one... she said it was fine for me to "tagalong". Question is do I get gift for her or just go observe since I do not know this girl at all?
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)

Re: Do I bring a gift?

  • Kimbus22 said:
    I would bring something small as a thank you for letting you crash the party.

    Although it's frankly kind of a weird thing to do.  So I probably wouldn't go at all.  A Baby Shower is basically people gathering for a couple of hours to eat, drink and give you presents.  It's not like you really need a practice run.  If the idea makes you uncomfortable, just politely decline.  Or just go with the flow and enjoy it.
    The idea is weird to me too, but where I come from crashing a party is ruining a party you were not invited to? The mom said I could go and I took as invitation and do not plan on ruining her party. They tried to explain it to me but I got overwhelmed since I do not know lots of things and terms yet. I am worried about having all the attention on me and not being sure of what is happening or why, but thought it would be helpful to watch one where i can ask questions later about things that happened instead of worrying during my own. It would be I guess like you being put on the spot for one of our celebrations and being completely worried about what was going on the entire time.
    My friends are putting on the party and I am helping them set up and cook food then clean up so I thought this would be enough of a thank you for letting me watch? 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IAmPregnant Tickerimage
    Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)
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  • slovacmomslovacmom member
    edited March 2014
    <---------- is suspicious.
    Sorry, I do not know what you think is suspicious? I guess short story is that the friends are wives of my husband's work partners and we become close over last few years. They explained after I asked for sure if this is a party, that there was baby themed games and food, and fun things to do. I just want to see what the mom is expected to do I guess? Kind of hard to explain because I don't know what I am expecting to see. Everyone seems relaxed about it, and I hope to be soon too! Maybe I can just get the mom a $25 gift card for baby things or Amazon shopping? Sorry that I am confusing, I am confused on my own... haha

    sorry added that they are wives of husbands work partners... not wives of him. that sounded bad. we are catholic.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IAmPregnant Tickerimage
    Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)
  • maybe i need to make more clear as well that the mom for this party I do not know, but my 2 friends that want to put on party for me know her from school when they were teenagers. I have not met her yet but was told she will have more than 30 people at party so it's fine if I want to come meet new people too since I did not receive schooling here.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IAmPregnant Tickerimage
    Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)
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  • <---------- is suspicious.
    This.  I mean, you seem to be able to write pretty well and express yourself in  English so I'm not buying this whole "I don't  understand" thing.  
    Oh! Well thanks! I've been learning for 5 years, took some classes and I have computer program as well that helps me and living here for 3 years with no translator has made me quick learner. Sometimes I'm not sure if I am saying things correctly 100%, but I know I can get my points to people well but like to warn them that I have a lot to learn :) certain terms will throw off my thinking a little but I do pretty well! We want to make sure our baby knows english well, trying to fit into american culture is tough since you all live so different from one another. I have learned a lot from reading through things as well. I hope to learn more from all of you! 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IAmPregnant Tickerimage
    Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)
  • Wellllll.... If you are set on attending this other woman's baby shower, I would certainly bring a gift, BUT, given the fact that your friends will be bringing you to a party that you're not invited to, it seems you are just going to learn bad American manners from the experience. If you decide not to crash the other woman's shower after all and just wing it at your own, just keep in mind that a shower is supposed to be a small light-hearted celebration of only your closest family/friends, so in a warm friendly setting like that, it really shoudn't matter if you act "correctly" or not, do you know what I mean? Just be upbeat and gracious and say thank you a lot, and then send thank-you notes to all the hosts and guests within a few days after the shower. Easy-peasy!
  • I'm European too. I was pretty horrified at the first shower I went too, etiquette it soooo different here. What would be considered very obnoxious in many European countries is totally acceptable here. And visa versa I am sure too. It would be a good idea to go as long as the host is aware of it and ok with you being there. It will be a good cultural learning experience for you. When in Rome do as the Romans!
    image
  • If you do go to this other woman's shower, I would certainly bring a gift. A small gift though. Probably something like a $25 gift card to Babies R Us.

    I will say that there is not much for the mother to be to do at a shower. It's mostly just saying hello to your guests, eating food, chatting/socializing, and opening gifts and being gracious. Nothing to really worry about. Just enjoy your day. :)
  •  
    slovacmom said:
    <---------- is suspicious.
    Sorry, I do not know what you think is suspicious? I guess short story is that the friends are wives of my husband's work partners and we become close over last few years. They explained after I asked for sure if this is a party, that there was baby themed games and food, and fun things to do. I just want to see what the mom is expected to do I guess? Kind of hard to explain because I don't know what I am expecting to see. Everyone seems relaxed about it, and I hope to be soon too! Maybe I can just get the mom a $25 gift card for baby things or Amazon shopping? Sorry that I am confusing, I am confused on my own... haha

    sorry added that they are wives of husbands work partners... not wives of him. that sounded bad. we are catholic.


    I guess it just seems odd that you would have to attend the shower of someone you don't know to understand what goes on at a traditional US baby shower?

    Surely there is footage online of someone's baby shower that you could watch, or things you could read or your friends can just tell you what to expect-- they would know the best what's the norm for a shower in your circle.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

  • Thank you for the responses everyone. I have decided what to do now, thank you for your time!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IAmPregnant Tickerimage
    Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  :)
  • Deardra77 said:
    I'm European too. I was pretty horrified at the first shower I went too, etiquette it soooo different here. What would be considered very obnoxious in many European countries is totally acceptable here. And visa versa I am sure too. It would be a good idea to go as long as the host is aware of it and ok with you being there. It will be a good cultural learning experience for you. When in Rome do as the Romans!
    I'm American, but I spent a lot of time living in foreign countries with customs different from mine. And even rituals (like baby showers) which seem very straight forward to people from that culture were sometimes confusing and mystifying to me. 

    I think you should attend the shower, as long as you are a gracious guest no one will mind you being there. You will be more relaxed and know what to expect at your own shower -- and hopefully enjoy it more. 

    I would bring a gift, something small from the woman's registry and express my personal thanks to her and the hostess at the shower for having been included.
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