How to respond to baby shower offers — The Bump
Baby Showers

How to respond to baby shower offers

I'm due early July with our first child & I've always known that there'd be a possibility of two showers for me (one in my home state with my family/friends and then one in my current city with dh's family). My mother has already offered to host a shower for me in May, so I've already bought plain tickets and everything.
Now nobody in dh family has formally offered to throw me a shower (I was prepared for this happening & I am ok with not having a shower if nobody offers). But lately family members have asked either me or dh if someone is already throwing me a shower. There was even one family memer who asked "are we supposed to throw her a shower?" as if bc I am family they are obligated to throw me one.
Me & dh family have not always seen eye-to-eye or gotten along, but I try to be the bigger person & know that I would not say no to anyone offering.
My question is how do I respond if one more person asks me if someone is already throwing me a shower. I know that I can politely respond with "no nobody has offered", but do I follow it up with your more than welcome to if you like? I have this feeling that some of them feel obligated to throw me one & I'm not really ok being at a shower that was only thrown bc they don't want to look bad.

Re: How to respond to baby shower offers

  • "My mom is throwing me one back home." :) nice and simple. If they want to throw you one, they will.

    Agreed

  • Loading the player...
  • Agree with pp. However I kind of feel like your DH's close family should be invited to your mom's shower.  Especially his mother and any sisters.  Even if they can't travel to attend it is nice to let them know that they are thought of and included.

  • I'm due early July with our first child & I've always known that there'd be a possibility of two showers for me (one in my home state with my family/friends and then one in my current city with dh's family). My mother has already offered to host a shower for me in May, so I've already bought plain tickets and everything. Now nobody in dh family has formally offered to throw me a shower (I was prepared for this happening & I am ok with not having a shower if nobody offers). But lately family members have asked either me or dh if someone is already throwing me a shower. There was even one family memer who asked "are we supposed to throw her a shower?" as if bc I am family they are obligated to throw me one. Me & dh family have not always seen eye-to-eye or gotten along, but I try to be the bigger person & know that I would not say no to anyone offering. My question is how do I respond if one more person asks me if someone is already throwing me a shower. I know that I can politely respond with "no nobody has offered", but do I follow it up with your more than welcome to if you like? I have this feeling that some of them feel obligated to throw me one & I'm not really ok being at a shower that was only thrown bc they don't want to look bad.
    Why would you say that nobody has offered when your mother has offered?

    Oscar born October 2011

    Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)

    DD due September 1, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I meant that nobody on my dh side has offered, meaning that so far I'm just having one shower. I'm not looking to have multiple showers or expect anyone to throw me another one. I just wasn't sure how to respond when dh family keeps asking but not offering. I don't want to come off as somebody who feels entitled to anything so I would only want someone to throw me a shower bc they wanted to not bc I suggested they should.
  • If people ask, I would just say "My mother is throwing me one in my hometown." That tells them that (a)- you're getting a shower but (b) - it's being held pretty far away so they can host one if they'd like.
    JustListen[Deleted User]NunyaBennis
  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    If people ask, I would just say "My mother is throwing me one in my hometown." That tells them that (a)- you're getting a shower but (b) - it's being held pretty far away so they can host one if they'd like.
    This is what I would say.  I might add "for people local to her" - just to stave off any expectations that your DHs entire family should be invited.

    If anyone pushes and asks about in your area, just say "no shower is being planned that I know of".  And leave it at that.  DO NOT say "you can if you'd like".  For being worried about people feeling obligated, that's exactly what that comment would do - make them feel obligated!
    JustListen[Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Thanks for the replies guys! I had another member of dh family ask me yesterday if anyone was throwing me one & I thought it was time to finally respond so that I wouldn't get asked again. I kindly replied that my mother was already throwing me one in my home state so I would be able to share that moment with my family, but that so far no one here from dh's family has mentioned that they are in fact throwing me one. So I'm hoping with this reply it answers their question & lets them know it should be their decesion to throw me a shower, not mine.
  • FYI, traditionally, family members wouldn't host a shower. It's possible that's why nobody on your husband's side has offered. Maybe you should start hinting to your friends instead? (Just joking- do not hint!! But friends are the people who would typically be hosting a shower.)
    ArgyleBride
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    ***
    "No sun outlasts its sunset but will rise again and bring the dawn." -Maya Angelou
    image

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards