How long do I do this?

fancefpp

So, we started CIO tonight. DH has been going in and out of there for over an hour now. He's hysterical, only calmed down for a few minutes a little while ago but started up again. When can I say enoughs enough and put him back in bed with me? This is breaking my heart.

Also, what do I do for middle of the night wakings? I know there will be many!

I should read the books but I haven't had any time lately. Any advice?

Schell2013

Be consistent whatever you choose. At this age I would just keep going in every 5 minutes. If you stop now its only going to be harder and longer the next time you try it. I would good Ferber, there is lots of good information out there.

flyliceandcoffee

are you increasing the time between intervals? Or is it consistently like 5 minutes or something? When we did it, S cried for an hour, but as the time between intervals got longer, the time between all out crying vs quiet periods grew as well.

If he's not calming down AT ALL, and you've increased the intervals, then I think it ultimately comes down to what you're comfortable with. If it goes past 2 hours, I would probably stop and try again tomorrow.

As for MOTN, consistency is key. If you really want him to learn to sleep on his own, you'll probably need to do sleep training for those wake ups as well. It's ups to you if you want to go full out and now feed, or feed and then put back to bed while drowsy and let him figure out how to fall asleep on his own after that. You might actually be surprised and he may, in fact, not wake up as often at night as you think he will. When we started our sleep training S went from 4-5 wake ups a night to once, maybe twice that very night. I don't know if that was because she tired herself out so much or if she quickly learned how to put herself to sleep, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Good luck!

flyliceandcoffee

oh, forgot to mention, but @KatieCGC reminded me of it, even if you can get him to start sleeping on his own, don't be surprised if he regresses every so often and you need to re-train. Just the other night S screamed at me for half an hour before going to sleep and she's been able to put herself to sleep for like 6 months.

kmcd23

I haven't done it, but my pedi told me today that if I choose to, stop at 2 hours.

smg2302

My cousin went 3 hours his first night, but was still successful after 3 days.  We used the same system they did, 5, 10, 15, until DD fell asleep.  Neither DD nor cousin had MOTN wakeups, even though they had before, but the book said to start over the intervals each time.  We used sleep easy solution.

kelseyhh

How did the first night go? How are you feeling this morning? I know the first night or two can be really rough on a momma. Hugs!

fancefpp

It didn't go well. I put him in my bed after two hours of screaming. He wouldn't nap this morning either. We will try again tonight. I bought the Ferber book so hopefully that will give me some info. I feel like I created a monster by bedsharing but it worked for us in beginning. This is really hard

fancefpp

@SpankingShank‌ thank you. I feel like the book will help me feel more confident that we are doing the right thing. Ds1 used to sleep with me but he was easier to put in crib. This is all new to me. Thanks everyone for the advice!

OhhHey955

Since I'm having the same problems I thought maybe if I put one of my t-shirts in her crib that I sleep in maybe it will help her. She slept most of the night in her bed and every time I checked on her she would be clutching it or have it near her face. Maybe it's worth a try. Since my husband was working nights last night I was able to have the bed all to myself for a while and it was heavenly.

fancefpp

I tried that...he's stubborn, didnt care but thank you for suggestion. We are giving it a break until we get back from vacation. We are leaving for Bahamas on Tuesday for five days. I figured it was better to start fresh when we get back because I'm sure vacation will screw up everything anyway