I have been a stay at home mom for 15 months and still don't know what I am doing!

ForMarleyandTatum

I decided to stay at home when I found out I was pregnant with our second child only 3 months after having our first child.  I was excited; I thought I would get to concentrate on raising our girls while tending our garden, and pursuing my hobbies!  I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but I had no idea!  I knew it was going to be "hard" and it wasn't going to be sitting around all day; but I did not know the emotional and mental toll of spending 24/7 with 2 toddlers would take on me. I am an introvert by nature, so I did not think the lack of adult communication would bother me; however, I found myself bitter and envious of my husband when he would talk about the simple interactions he would have with co-workers.  My girls are 29 months and 15 months old now and I feel like I merely "survived" the past year.  I really opened up to my husband recently about how I feel and he has been amazing.  I credit his love and care for me and our girls as the driving force to get myself out of the depression I had been sucked into.  

Now that I feel more like myself, I am trying to get back on track to being the mom I wanted to be from the beginning; but I don't even know where to begin!!  I have been researching Montessori home environments but feel like I have no time to really invest in making such major changes, because it would be major!  I have enough toys and stuff to run a daycare because we have so many family members that LOVE to buy the girls STUFF!  Meanwhile, we are living off of one income less than $50 above welfare program standards, so we do a lot of DIY and frugal self-sufficient style living to make ends meet.  So, in an effort to figure out how to make these life style changes, I have taken to this discussion board to reach other SAHM that may be able to share with me their similar experiences and/or who can provide me with resources or information to help.  Thank you, I look forward to any and all comments you are willing to share!  Megan

Andrewsgal

Honestly is sounds like you need counseling. If you truly think you are depressed you need professional help. To be blunt if I was as miserable as you and dealing with as low an income as you I would go back to work. Is this a possibility for you? I have always said I am not willing to stay home on a very limited income it would not be worth it to me.

LoriLee14

If you are religious, I enjoy going to church. There is a class for his age so he gets other kids to play with while I get to hang out with adults for an hour

weather is getting better, get outside and try and teach your oldest how to garden and if your youngest doesn't put them in her mouth, how to pull weeds

SBmomma

Becoming a SAHM is a HUGE adjustment! At least it was for me. I definitely lost a bit of myself during that first year of being a new mom. It was very overwhelming at times. We don't have family around to help out so it was all on us, or, me most of the time. But I choose not to run to a therapist only because I knew what I needed. I know myself enough to know that if I don't get out of the house at least once a day, get into the sunshine, eat healthy, exercise, (even a brisk walk around the block will do), communicate with either a friend or family member, and take my health supplements, (cod liver oil, multi vitamin), I will start to feel down and sad. I am also an introvert…but still a little social time is needed when you stay home with kiddos. It's important to not fall off the face of the earth…keep in touch with people. Give yourself a break, you have 2 toddlers your watching after. Stay positive & enjoy every minute. 

kalette

Try to get out of the house everyday too, go places where you can get adult interaction. Moms groups, church play groups, library story time, the park, etc. Also some early childhood classes don't charge for low income families.

ginger313

I'm sorry your feeling down! I too had a tough time adjusting to life as a SAHM. I agree with PP, that making sure to leave the house at least once a day, taking care of yourself, and taking some time for just you are important ways to cope.

I searched for free activities in the area, and found a few that I look forward to every week. I believe those activities are just as important for the kids as they are for the moms. And I made a few new needed friends that can relate. See if your local library has a story time, look for local petting zoos, even on random trips to the park we were able to meet new people.

I don't know where you live, but by me the winter is so depressing. Yesterday it actually reached 50 degrees and we were able to spend some time outside just walking around town. I can't wait for the snow to melt enough to go back to our park and nature spots.

My working mom friends always tell me they'd go nuts if they didn't have their job life as well as their home life. I think for some people this might be true. It takes a lot to be happy with a "job" where there is no time off, weekends, or vacations. If going back to work would make you happier your kids would benefit from that too. No wrong answers to your deal, just ideas on how to make it better. If something isn't working, try something else. What's the worst that could happen?

GL!

bumpuser8448316

No matter how much you may have wanted to be a SAHM it's okay to admit if it turned out to not be the right choice for you. To me, your post reads like you want to SAH but that you're not happy doing it. That's okay, I would encourage you to seek counseling for depression and go back to work- maybe something part time.