Let's spice this up

bellelamb

We haven't had any good debates or flames on here in forever!! Let's try to be respectful but spice things up some!!

1st What is your BIGGEST pet peeve other parents do???

Mine is saying things like I just can't keep her in a cart or stroller so shopping is SOOO difficult! Or last night was so rough I just couldn't get her to let me put a diaper on! Good grief you're the parent you are much bigger simply don't allow your child to control you, what are you going to do when said child is a pre-teen? Children learn young they can manipulate us don't let them!!

2nd What do you do that is flame worthy??

Mine is I let my kids watch tv and eat sugar!! I'm a sahm who has to coupon to sah so when I'm figuring out deals for the week and cutting coupons my kids watch tv. And my way of keeping them happy and under control while shopping for hours a week is to treat them with fruit snacks! I know I know but hey at least I'm home with them and they are well behaved in the stores

Let's here yours!!

mrsshawnavanb

My biggest pet peeve is people that smoke around their children. First let me say I was raised with smoking parents- in the car, in our home, etc but times have changed and when I see people smoking in the car with their kid in the back I want to scream at them. It makes me so sad for the kids.

My flame worthy bad parenting moment will also be TV. I put a cartoon on the tablet in the playroom and let DD eat breakfast and watch a cartoon while I get ready. Her playroom is right across from my bathroom so I can watch her in the mirror while I get ready. It's the only way I can get out of the house in time in the morning. She watches cartoons from 7-730. I don't think that's too bad.

MrsH11710

My biggest parenting pet peeve is allowing a LO to drink juice out of a bottle. Although I don't personally let my LO drink juice yet, I'm not at all opposed to it. I just think that a child is old enough to drink juice then it should at least be in a sippy cup.

My flame worthy parenting tool is also the TV. DD will watch TV here and there but mostly it's on for background noise. She is starting to be more intersted in the interactive shows (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins) and I think it's a good way for her to learn. My daughter is high needs (in my opinion) and having this distraction helps us get through the day.

@bellelamb- I am one of those parents who sometimes has issues while shopping with DD. Our shopping trips have to be short and fast or else she gets antsy and wants to wreck havoc or throw a tanturm. I try to shop when I know she is happiest- fed, well-rested, and dry- but sometimes it's not that easy to align my shopping trips on her time frame.  I think she is much too young to already be trying to manipulate me, but I understand your point. I will definitely not let her control the situation when she is older and comprehends/communicates better.

ELF4321

My biggest pet peeve is parents who let their kids run wild, push other kids around, and grab toys away from other kids and make no effort to correct the behavior or to teach them proper social interaction. I know you can't prevent kids from acting that way at times, but you should certainly tell them it is not acceptable.

My flame-worthy confession is that I still give DD purees with her lunch most days. She is so tall and thin and just not interested in taking the time to eat, plus she only drinkd about 10 oz of milk a day. She isn't particularly picky about WHAT she eats, just doesn't get enough volume/calories. I give her something she can eat with a fork or fingers like whole grain tortilla or bread, and while she picks at that for the 5 minutes she's willing to sit still, I shovel veggie/meat combo purees into her in between bites. When I tried following the "she'll eat what she needs" strategy, she dropped from the 90th% for weight to the 25th% in three months (still 90th% for height) and would regularly wake in the MOTN begging for food because she hadn't eaten enough. She's getting a bit better eating lately, so I'm slowly backing off the purees and hope to be able to abandon it completely if she stays on the same growth curve.

GromMom

Biggest pet peeve, allowing bratty behavior.  I know this is in older kids but my niece is a huge brat and it is really irritating how if she is not in control of everything she throws a screaming fit.  She is 8.

Biggest flameworthy thing I do:  LO watches quite a bit of TV.   I don't know how I thought I'd make it to 2 without tv, but thanks to TV he can do baby sign, speak a little chinese, count to 6 and identify different alphabet letters.  Not that we don't reinforce it and he sits there clockwork orange style, but he'll get really excited about a show about colors and start shouting the colors, he doesn't say a lot other times, but when he watches tv somehow he loves to shout out the items he sees, so it can't be all bad.   I'm not sure why LO doesn't like to respond to me if I ask what color is this? but if he sees a green cartoon crayon he will be shouting Gree GREE!

[Deleted User]

Yup - biggest pet peeve by far is def smoking around kids.  i don't care what your excuse is.  nothing is trashier than seeing a mom driving her mini van taking drags from her cancer stick endangering her innocent children.  

biggest flameworthy... hmm - i'm a sucker at bedtime.  DH gets mad that i don't just put her down and jet but i really hate when she goes to bed upset.  i will go through the routine of teeth brushing, hunting the windows for the moon, putting her noise machine and stars on, chat about our day, then sing to her.  I don't care if i sing twinkle twinkle 27 times, i'd rather have her relaxed then screaming that i left.  I'm trying to cut it shorter but i can't get beyond going to sleep peacefully!  

selockar

Biggest pet peeve - Do I have to pick just one? haha! Probably parents who let their  young kids act like their older kids.  It's not ok for your preschooler to swear, give people the finger, and get on a website with a cartoon of someone pooping, putting it in a gun and shooting it.  It's not funny. It's bad parenting. This may be aimed at one person I know. I certainly hope there are not many of these parents out there. 

Biggest flame worthy thing I do- I reversed the locks on my kids doors. Yes, I lock them in their rooms at night. My oldest was wandering around the house and it made me scared something would happen. 

ELF4321

biggest flameworthy... hmm - i'm a sucker at bedtime.  DH gets mad that i don't just put her down and jet but i really hate when she goes to bed upset.  i will go through the routine of teeth brushing, hunting the windows for the moon, putting her noise machine and stars on, chat about our day, then sing to her.  I don't care if i sing twinkle twinkle 27 times, i'd rather have her relaxed then screaming that i left.  I'm trying to cut it shorter but i can't get beyond going to sleep peacefully!  

This sounds a lot like our bedtime routine, though DD still ends up crying half the time and needing even more rocking and singing after the first attempt.

bellelamb

Ok I agree with most things being said this is not getting spicy!!

I do how ever think kids mini pulsate their parents from birth, it's survival they cry we come, they cry they get feed, they cry for us in the morning we get them up. These are all learned cause and effect SO if they throw a fit or act out at a store and the trip is cut short they learn that too! Just sayin

MrsH11710

bellelamb said:

Ok I agree with most things being said this is not getting spicy!! I do how ever think kids mini pulsate their parents from birth, it's survival they cry we come, they cry they get feed, they cry for us in the morning we get them up. These are all learned cause and effect SO if they throw a fit or act out at a store and the trip is cut short they learn that too! Just sayin

I agree that throwing a tantrum to get their way is a learned behavior, but my opposition to that is at what age is it considered manipulative? If my child is having a meltdown at the grocery store because I needed to go during a time when she was tired, is that her fault or mine? Also, when DD is thrashing around and I have to physically hold her to prevent her from hurting herself then there is no way I can get any shopping done anyways, unless I have help which I usually don't.  

On the other hand, when she is a little older and communicates to me that she wants to go to the park and not the store (for example) and is whining and crying in the store because she didn't get her way then I would agree with you wholeheartedly. In that instance, I wouldn't back down on my position regardless of her behavior.

I think it comes down to age and maturity level. I don't feel that DD's intentions are manipulative at this point, but someday they will be, just not now.

littleredfish

bellelamb said:

Ok I agree with most things being said this is not getting spicy!! I do how ever think kids mini pulsate their parents from birth

Seriously, whos kids are mini pulsating them? That sounds cool and I feel I am missing out. Lol. Just teasing. In all seriousness I don't find the examples you mentioned to be manipulation, just survival. Kids who are older and play mom again dad, that is manipulation. Not a baby crying to be held for comfort. That's just a form of communication due to the fact that they lack a more advanced way to communicate their feelings and desires to us.

My pet peeves tho I guess would be smoking anti-vaccination people? One or the other is a hard toss up.

My bad behaviour would be screen time. DD watches TV and baby Einstein on the computer and videos on my phone if we're out and I have to keep her happy. I'm not too concerned about the "no screen time before 2" rule.

bellelamb

^^^damn auto correct I don't think manipulation has to be intentional! I do think by this age they know what their doing and don't think as parents we do our kids any favors by only requiring them to behave when it's ideal time for them. Kids can learn at a very young age what is allowed or appropriate in different places. I do think it's silly for parents to plan everything around their kids schedule. Teaching flexibility and how to coupe with different things even when tired or hungry or grumpy!

nene1216

pet peeve: competitive parents...yeah, I'm sure your baby was walking at 4 months and is teaching his preschool class

flame-worthy: hahaha, I'm not posting that, it really is...instead I will say that I don't care about dirty and germs, not totally flame-worthy, but I'm sure I get some looks for it...daughter will play in mud and put rocks (dipped in said mud) into her mouth, etc...she is not a girly girl, that's for sure :-)

littleredfish

nene1216 said:

pet peeve: competitive parents...yeah, I'm sure your baby was walking at 4 months and is teaching his preschool class

flame-worthy: hahaha, I'm not posting that, it really is...instead I will say that I don't care about dirty and germs, not totally flame-worthy, but I'm sure I get some looks for it...daughter will play in mud and put rocks (dipped in said mud) into her mouth, etc...she is not a girly girl, that's for sure :-)

lol this made me laugh. If it makes you feel better, when my old Corgi was still alive, he'd often get poo nuggets stuck to his butt. When DD was first learning to crawl, I caught her rolling one around in her mouth. I was mortified then, but now it's pretty funny.

ELF4321

I agree with you Bellelamb to some extent. DD absolutely throws fits intentionally to try to get her way sometimes. It is usually obvious when this is happening and I am just as stubborn as she is, so I don't give in (LOL). But, at the same time, if I have a choice of scheduling things, I try to avoid the "danger zones" when she'll be hungry or tired.

I could "spice things up," after reading several of the other responses, by bringing up the fact that we are following a selective and delayed vaccine schedule, but I find people are rarely interested in an informative, non-emotional debate on that topic (not specifically referring to this board, just people in general). I've done my research, from actual scientific information and evidence that is out there, not from pro or anti vax propaganda, and am 100% confident in our choices so far. But I totally understand how people with different backgrounds, different family medical histories, and different levels of risk tolerance could make different choices.

bellelamb

I don't mean I set my kids up to fail by taking them to the grocery store at lunch or nap time all the time BUT with three kids someone is alwYs hungry/ tired/cranky so they have to learn to behave regardless!

I think not vaccinating at all is flame worthy but I think if I had done more research soon I would have done a more delayed schedule!

Ps now this is getting interesting

littleredfish

I know kids are capable of manipulation, but I just meant the examples you mentioned are not what I consider to be manipulation. I can even tell the difference between DD being fussy to manipulate me and her being fussy, say at the store, just trying to tell me "I'm tired and all of these strange people smiling at me are making me seriously uncomfortable, can we go home now?"

I have no problem with a delayed series; DD is on one because I get very bad vaccine reactions and I was worried she could have them too (which is not the case fortunately). It's also seriously delayed now because her ear infections threw off a bunch of appointments. Anit-vaccination people I can't even try to discuss, because I get all ragey and this is my day off to relax and be zen.

bellelamb

Lol ps I was pmsing when I started this! I didn't relise it but it makes sense now sorry girls

selockar

I have a new pet peeve- When parents say my kids a picky eater, so schools shouldn't be peanut free.  I think your child will learn to live without their peanut butter sandwich. Especially if another child could have an anaphylactic reaction.

GromMom

lol @ mini pulsate.  I couldn't figure that out until someone pointed it out and then I was like AH Manipulate!  I was thinking this was some sort of term for a baby getting the vibes of the parents in utero, lol.  I have to say that my niece throws some doozy tantrums, but so does her DAD.  yup her dad is often cranky and starts yelling when he doesn't get her way so it's no wonder that she herself, has this behavior.

picklesx

Definitely would say the anti-vaccination parents are my biggest pet peeve.

I dont think it makes me a bad parent but I let DS watch TV. We watch 1 episode of Bubble Guppies or Wallykazam every night before bedtime, and in the mornings sometimes while I get ready for work.

Also Re: manipulating their parents, I will correct certain behaviors but I don't punish him for acting out or having a tantrum. I will be firm but empathetic and explain why he can't do this or can't have that. At this age psychologically they can not understand why they can't have another cookie or a toy that they want or things like that. That part of their mind isnt developed yet so when they throw a tantrum and act like the world is ending because mom won't let them play with something, it's because in their mind they really do think it's the most awful thing imagineable to not be able to play with the toy. It's pretty interesting actually.