"Don't buy anything until after your shower" — The Bump
July 2014 Moms

"Don't buy anything until after your shower"

Salsera29Salsera29
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edited March 2014 in July 2014 Moms
This is what my mother keeps telling me. She's including furniture and everything.  Presumably my shower will be in May. DH and MIL, being Jewish, traditionally don't want to buy anything until after the baby is born...so I'm getting no help there lol. So what do you guys think of this advice? Could I just do my registry and really not worry about buying anything until May? Could you do it?


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Re: "Don't buy anything until after your shower"

  • I couldn't do it! I want to have a lot of the nursery done before my shower so we just have to clean and put the new stuff away. Plus, heaven forbid, the baby comes early I want everything done and ready to go. We're buying the big stuff and some essentials and will put the rest of the stuff on the registry.
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    redhotmama7Elisa8683
  • We have bought a few things, but everyone keeps telling me to stop buying stuff until after our showers. I found out Friday that my co-workers are looking at buying us a pack and play. We will still pick up the odd thing here and there but for the most part we will wait until after our showers. Whatever we still need we will buy then. 


    rach1285Nichole8787beff12
  • This is how my husband feels about it too. He wants us to wait. My shower won't be until June. I'll be out of school then so he thinks we'll have plenty of time. I don't think he realizes that the bump will prevent furniture moving etc. I'm a FTM so I don't love the idea of this plan.

    We do already have a crib though. We bought that 4 years ago in order to be on an adoption wait list.
    PregsMcSnoozalotRJHarmonrach1285
  • I'm waiting until after showers. I've bought a few cute clothes, and mister insisted on buying a bottle. That's it. If baby comes early, I will assign shopping to MIL and use amazon prime.

     

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    Stephdb
  • My husband also wanted to wait to buy everything after the shower. I wanted to at least have the furniture ready. So we have done the crib, glider, and will get the dresser. I'll feel better with at least the big pieces out of the way.
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  • I'm only buying clothes/odds and ends if they are a really good deal...clearance, etc.  

    My parents did buy us our shower present early, a travel system, because my mom saw a crazy good deal on it.  

    We also bought a few of the bedding items for the nursery so that we could choose paint colors.  We want to have the nursery furniture set up by the end of April, so we will likely also buy a Lazy-Boy rocker-recliner and a crib before then.  We already have a dresser and dresser/changing table (combo) that were in my nursery when I was little...still in good shape and nostalgic!  

    We will register for the rest of the nursery essentials, along with everything else we need, and then buy whatever is left over on the registry a few weeks before the baby gets here!    
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  • I couldn't wait and I haven't. We are buying all the nursery furniture and then some clothes, books etc... I also got a bouncy chair but it was $20, new at a baby resale and I just couldn't help myself. I figure there is still about $2500-3000 worth of stuff on my registry with everything so that should give people plenty of stuff to choose from. 
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  • We haven't bought anything yet and its driving me CRAZY! MIL keeps dropping off onesies and little outfits she buys and I want to buy the baby stuff too, but I am waiting, and yes its killing me.
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    Angeliquesmom[Deleted User]
  • We literally do not have a thing for the baby. My mom and MIL are both throwing showers for me in May so I'm just focusing on getting the nursery floor done and painted possibly some curtains. I'm putting everything on the registry though, whatever doesn't get bought for a gift I plan on buying. It's going to be a shopping list after the showers.
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    ambha83
  • When we had DD, we bought the essentials (car seat, bed, etc) but tried to leave the rest of it for the shower. Since this is our second, we won't have any showers. But we still haven't bought a single thing. Maybe after our A/S on the 17th
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  • We plan on buying the big ticket items before the shower (crib, travel system, high chair etc) but we won't be buying much else until after. 

    I want the nursery together as soon as possible though because I'm nesting with absolutely nothing to nest with so I'm itching to get the room painted! 

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  • We are buying all the big stuff I don't expect to get at the shower. Crib, dresser etc. I also have bought other things. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable waiting that long. I would feel rushed and stressed to get it!
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  • I waited until after one of my showers. DH's family has a different idea about baby showers than mine, so we went and bought a bunch of stuff after it. Totally fine, but I wish I wouldn't have taken that advice and gotten stuff bit by bit. My family would have gone in on a few big things, but I couldn't wait to get some of it until after 37 weeks when my shower with them was. My advice? Leave a few big items such as a stroller (unless you're doing a travel system), high chair, pack and play, and jumperoo for your shower. Buy furniture/place for baby to sleep and car seat when you want, as these two things are really all you'll need (with the exception of bottles if you're ff). You won't get everything you need at your shower, so buy what you want when it's a good price.

  • I'm on the "spread out the cost" train as well. We can't afford the big ticket items all at once so we're slowly buying things. The stuff we don't purchase ourselves will stay on the registry. We're under no illusion that every single thing we need will be purchased by others for our shower.
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    pantherRN
  • We didn't have a crib until DD was a few weeks old. Or a rocking chair. Her room wasn't even completely painted when we came home. Babies don't really need all that much... We're pretty laid back though. It didn't really bother me much, but I can see how it would be stressful for some.
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  • Also we are planning on moving, so nursery furniture is going to wait until later. I mostly went nuts with cloth diapering stuff on the amazon registry. Babies r us can suck it.

     

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    PregsMcSnoozalot
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  • We bought all of the nursery furniture and bedding ourselves and then registered for the rest for DS. I had two incredibly awesome showers with about 50 people at each and did not have anything left to purchase. However, I was glad that we had bought the furniture ourselves. DS came much earlier than planned and there was so much stuff to put together after we got home from the hospital, I was glad we put the crib up months before!

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  • I didn't plan on listening to that advice when friends were giving it, but then everyone in the family started saying they wanted to buy a lot so we decided to wait. This is the first baby in the family in a while, first grandchild and great grandchild on both sides, etc... So people are really excited and gifting a lot of things. It's been a relief really, but I do still get tempted quite often to buy cute things!
  • We have bought a number of things as we see deals. I've got probably four plastic bins of clothes (many different sizes), diapers, wipes, breast feeding supplies, etc. Most of it, aside from the clothes, is stuff that I don't think people will buy for us us.

    We do have a swing, bouncer, and RNP that we bought a while ago when Targey was having a big sale/ clearance.

    There is still plenty of stuff on our registry, though others have no obligation to buy it for us.


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  • That is my plan :) we are sticking to no buying until after the shower except for paint for the rooms!
  • I bought the crib bedding, some clothes and a few toys that I fell in love with. My mom bought our pack n play. I will be waiting on the rest of the big stuff until after my shower and plan to utilize the registry completion coupon. I will be hitting up some mom I mom sales soon though!
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    [Deleted User]
  • Most of our big ticket items (crib, car seat, stroller) have already had dibs called on them by family members. I've bought a few clearance clothing items, and we are getting paint this week. DH and I also have a very specific and obscure nursery theme, that I've been picking stuff up for once in a while because there's no way that my friends and family will be able to find the stuff we want. 

    But I'm having a pretty hard time not buying everything I want when I see it on sale. 
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    [Deleted User]
  • I wouldn't wait but I'd also weigh---how big is the shower? Close relatives vs. friends?

    To me a small shower of just family, go ahead buy when you find deals. Maybe if it were a huge shower where you'd get more presents I'd wait. But honestly big furniture is a lot to ask of people and there are already some expensive items probably on your registry like car seat, stroller, etc. so some of the big purchases will have to be you. I'd hold off on smaller things and clothes though.

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    [Deleted User]
  • I feel like we should at least buy the big things, like the crib. I certainly don't "expect" anybody to buy us anything. I think my mother's motivation in giving this advice is not to avoid buying things ourselves, but to give guests the biggest variety of things to choose from. Kind of like how she always yelled at us if we bought anything for ourselves right before Christmas. My shower will be pretty small, so there is no question that we will end up buying many things ourselves. I think the idea is that we should give other people first choice on what THEY want to buy.


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • @Salsera29 - that is our reasoning too. We are really not for buying unnecessary things so our registry is pretty small already.
    [Deleted User]
  • I've been told by pretty much everyone not to buy anything yet and it's driving me crazy. I want to spread out the costs, but apparently family thinks that even big stuff might be gifted to us (this is the first baby on both sides in almost 20 years). I've been good and have only purchased a couple onesies and painted the nursery, etc. but I'm getting nervous. I really don't want to have to drop 4 figures in June on everything.

    [Deleted User]
  • I've been told by pretty much everyone not to buy anything yet and it's driving me crazy. I want to spread out the costs, but apparently family thinks that even big stuff might be gifted to us (this is the first baby on both sides in almost 20 years). I've been good and have only purchased a couple onesies and painted the nursery, etc. but I'm getting nervous. I really don't want to have to drop 4 figures in June on everything.
    Yeah that's definitely a concern. We're just trying to save as much as possible with the understanding that it's going to go towards baby stuff, whenever that may be.


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  • edited March 2014
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  • We didn't buy clothes, blankets, or the stroller and car seat. I knew my parents were getting us the travel system and I know most people in my family and the few friends that were invited would get us clothes and blankets. We didn't register for a crib at all because DH insisted that we buy that ourselves. Other than the crib and a couple onesies DH picked up we waited until after the shower to buy anything else.
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  • We are waiting until after the shower. I picked up a few things for the first time today, but only because it was a great sale. We found cute onesies for 75 cents a piece! I couldn't pass them up. Other then little cutesy things we are waiting. We've already had friends and family purchase some of the big items off the registry (crib, car seat etc.) I will say it's driving me crazy though. If I had my way the nursery would be finished!
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  • I couldn't wait. I would be too worried about missing a deal on a big item, not getting exactly what I want, and feeling more stressed having less time to make purchases all at once when I'm physically uncomfortable.
    PregsMcSnoozalot
  • We have bought some stuff. My mom keeps telling me not to buy any more but we're looking at the shower being at 36 weeks. I could never not be prepared. I'm WAY too ocd to not have everything in order.
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  • My SIL is giving us a crib, so we don't have to worry about that.

    Honestly I'm expecting to have a fairly small shower and get mostly clothes. I'm trying to really not buy any clothes.

    But when I see a good deal on something I'm going to get it. I have a bedding set that I found on super clearance at target and got the diaper bag half off on baby steals.

    We'll probably wait for the a lot of the big stuff for the completion coupon, unless I find a super good deal.

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  • I'm not waiting; if I have a shower it will be relatively small.  

    And in any event I couldn't stop myself from buying some sweet little outfits from Petit Bateau.
  • I absolutely hated this advice. I was told the same thing, but I didn't listen. And boy am I glad! My shower was at 32 weeks. Hardly anyone showed up (pretty much immediate family) and I pretty much only got clothes. I got a few odd and ends here and there, but it wasn't anywhere near what we needed. Don't get me wrong; I am grateful for what people got us, but it wasn't anywhere near what the advice was made out to be. People made it seem like I would get so much more than what we did. I ended up going on bedrest due to preterm labor the very next week. I was grateful for buying ahead and being prepared. There is no way that I could have done the amount of shopping that would have needed to be done had I waited until after my shower. 

    I honestly would much rather just go ahead and buy what I want to now and keep receipts in case of duplicates.
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    cakebatter27zellatrix
  • I buy items as I see good deals. I did wait on the big stuff until I got a completion coupon.
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  • I went to a consignment sale last week and bought a few cute outfits for $9! We won't buy any more clothes though. We're going to end up with several showers (perks of being a pastor's wife!), but I'm sure that we'll be getting mostly clothes from those showers. We'll buy furniture (crib and dresser) and our parents may help us with that. I'm just worried that we'll end up with 50 million cute outfits and nothing else but I'm going to try hard to resist buying until showers are done!

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  • ahjahbaba said:
    I couldn't wait and I haven't. We are buying all the nursery furniture and then some clothes, books etc... I also got a bouncy chair but it was $20, new at a baby resale and I just couldn't help myself. I figure there is still about $2500-3000 worth of stuff on my registry with everything so that should give people plenty of stuff to choose from. 
    Good lord...you either have some Champagne taste or registered for the whole store :)

      
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    zellatrixAMcLawsalyssa719
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