HELP! how to handle drama like a professional — The Bump
July 2013 Moms

HELP! how to handle drama like a professional

I am in grad school for my MEd in Special Education. I found this gem. How am I supposed to respond to this professionally?

...congrats on getting thru this section and being the first post.  I agree with what you said about Gould explaining his "why" for writing this book.  Your first paragraph was great and reminds me of the quote "you don't have to be great to start, but starting makes you great" something along those lines.  I AGREE with what you also said about how so many disabilities are growing and diagnosis are becoming more and more common yet these people who are labeled are suddenly SO DIFFERENT!  With the increasing amounts of people with a disability it is interesting to see how poorly they are still treated in today's society. I am 100% against sterilization.  I am however all for proud parenting and believe there are so many people out there "unfit" for being a parent.  I have seen many through my days as a preschool teacher.  They claim they know their child but when I have your child 60+ hours a week and you take them home maybe feed/bathe them and they go straight to bed only to return the next morning.  I'm sorry but I may know your child more than you do.  I even had parents who didn't work or worked from home and their child was still found in the daycare for over 10 hour days.  Call me old fashioned or wrong but my mom stayed home with me and it made all the difference in my life avoiding daycare and having excellent parents.  They weren't always perfect (no one is) but they did their best and loved me and if a parent can't make time for something THEY chose to create, that's too bad.


Re: HELP! how to handle drama like a professional

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  • I'm not sure there is a diplomatic way to respond to that load of horse shit. I think I could muster, "thank you for sharing your perspective." & that's it.

    I am not sure that I wouldn't say something that would compromise me. That email/correspondence is insanely offensive. Yuck. :(


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]DenverBride2005cuterusaurus
  • It makes me sad because I know people who totally think this about me. If every woman who works didn't have kids, there would be a lot of kids missing out on having awesome moms.

    Omg my first bump crush. Thank you for saying this!! Obviously I agree

    danielledunninglancomechica[Deleted User]
  • Stina2012 said:

    Is this like a group discussion post? This can't be an actual grad level educator speaking....

    This! How can you respond professionally to such an unprofessional statement? I would probably ignore the post or else, do as Prim said "thanks for sharing your perspective". There is no way to acknowledge any kind of valuable input from this person.

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    [Deleted User]
  • Also, this winner is a real jerk. I would politely debate the topic. It's a discussion. I'd start with a positive about their post to yours and then respectively state that I disagree with their comment. I may even go as far as to look up statistics from valid sites about daycare kids vs kids at home. ( not to knock SAHM- I envy you!) but to show that daycare doesn't equal crappy childhoods or parents.
    jeng100jemasa33[Deleted User]
  • Ignore it and let her simmer in her own ignorance. Some people just aren't worth the effort.


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    [Deleted User]geoffandjen728MyLittleSweetPea
  • You all made awesome points. There is no way I am letting this one slide! I get class credit for responding to discussion threads. The assignment was to write an analysis of a book which critiques how scientists over the centuries have misinterpreted data in order to support their prior preconceptions, particularly using prejudice and racism. @newbiemommie I'm definitely looking up those stats! That is a great idea! The whole argument reminded me of how much of a hard time our work from home bumpies have while trying to take care of their babies. That is like working two jobs simultaneously! @stina2012 it is. Now it makes sense as to why I get a 100 percent on every writing assignment. @danielledunning forget those people! You are doing awesome! Hugs :)@mommy1sttimer that was a great response! I may borrow some of that...

    Stina2012[Deleted User]Mommy1stTimer
  • @NKaeding that was my thought and I really have no room to judge, so wow.
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • It makes me sad because I know people who totally think this about me. If every woman who works didn't have kids, there would be a lot of kids missing out on having awesome moms.

    Omg my first bump crush. Thank you for saying this!! Obviously I agree

    I'm so excited someone has a crush on me!
    :x

     

    NewbieMomie
  • Yeah, I'd let that turd float on its own. No need to poke it. I'd sit back and see what others say. I bet the professor is shaking her head over that comment!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I would say...eat shit and die. You don't know my lyfe!

    No I wouldn't...but I'd like to.

    Pretty much this.


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    lancomechica
  • And I'm going to gracefully bow out of this discussion before I even read the replies. This is one of my ticking time bomb topics.


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    jemasa33cuterusaurus
  • I work from home and there's no way I could keep my DS home full time with me during the day--I wouldn't be giving either of my "jobs" 100%. Good luck with your response...
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    lancomechica
  • Mommy1stTimerMommy1stTimer member
    edited March 2014
    @jemasa33 I just finished my MEd in English Ed this past summer (39 weeks preggo) so I got way too much practice responding to ignorance like this. I was never one that could just ignore either, so I had to do just what you're doing now & find a professional way to explain what a dumbass someone could be. Good luck. I'm glad to help whenever, if you ever need :)
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    jemasa33
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    cuterusaurus[Deleted User]jemasa33
  • I typed out a lot of things. But nothing is quite grasping how much I'd like to throat punch her.

    So I'm going to leave it at, she's an idiot, if no one worked, and instead kept their kids home like she thinks they should, she would have never had that job in the first place. Job security, it's a nice thing.
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    [Deleted User]
  • casey78 said:
    So this is in a course where you are dealing with multicultural considerations, yes?

    I think I would (love if my students would) reflect what you heard and politely share your perspective. 

    For example, own your appreciation that she shared her perspective and that the values her childhood experiences. Then, own your response. "As a mother and future working mother, I found myself having both personal and professional reactions to your assertion that ...mProfessionally, (it is our responsibility to understand and honor the many ways families work),,, personally, (what got to you). Maybe something about financial realities of today's families. Personally, I heard your statement to mean... " Then, end with an invitation to explore how her beliefs and perceptions might get in the way of year abilities to build relationships with families / show cultural sensitivity / or other link to. What it is you are talking about. 

    Sorry for atrocious punctuation. Leah is nursing to sleep and helping to type wither her flailing limbs. 
    Wow, lots wrong with my writing, but can't fix. Sorry.
    @casey78 - I think I have a bump crush on you.  I wouldn't be able to sit idly by either, but would want to be professional.  Perfect formation for a respectful response!!
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    cuterusaurus[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • So, let's see your response :)
    [Deleted User]
  • I will say that I don't like the last part:

    " If putting the child in daycare is necessary in order to make sure there is enough food in the cupboard, is it truly such a negative life decision?"

    I could stay home and still put food on my table. Is being a working mom only OK if you have no other choice? Am I a bad mom because I chose this not out of necessity?

    I know that is not what you meant, but every time I see a statement like that, I get a little stabby.
    @mainerocks That is a good point. I already posted it or else I would change it. If I were in the position where I didn't need to work, I would still work as well.

    [Deleted User]
  • @jemasa33 great job on the response. i liked your tone.
    jemasa33
  • Mamasighs said:

    I have two bump crushes on @sharkababy and @casey78.
    My first ones!

    ;;) :-* :x

    Awww! Right back at ya ;)
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