High Needs LOs

ncase2

Anyone else have a "high needs" LO? I'm not even sure how that term came about, or if there is a technical aspect to it, but all I know is that I have one. DH and I don't go anywhere but my parent's and my IL's house with DS, because inevitably he has a meltdown of major proportions and we have to leave. I felt so bad bc it was DH's 30th birthday this last weekend and we were too afraid to go anywhere

If DS can see me, but I'm not holding him, he cries hysterically until I finally give in and take him - anytime DH holds DS I have to leave the room or he screams. I feel bad because my sisters, parents, ILs, etc. all want to visit and play with him and he cries with everyone if he can see me. We've only been to church twice since he was born because I end up in the cry room every single time, and DH and I now run all of our errands separately. We've only had a few dates (actually, two) since DS because my parents are the only ones who can handle him and his crying for more than an hour or two. Thank goodness my sitter is a saint and puts up with it. The minute I walk in the door from work and he sees me, it's all over, and I can't put him down the rest of the night. While I enjoy the snuggles, I'm sort of exhausted and wondering if anyone out there is in my boat, or has been, and if gets better? FTM here, so no real idea what I'm doing, but if one more person tells me I'm spoiling him I will scream.

Sorry this turned into a dear diary post.

Weljadraak

I can't give you anecdotal reassurance that it gets easier, but I can tell you you're not alone and to hang in there.  My baby doesn't scream *all* the time, but I can relate to most of what you said.  It is especially hard on my SO because he is trying to be a father and gets discouraged when the baby just won't calm down for him.  It's hard and tiring but I feel like it's just something that we, as mothers, have to endure, at least for the time being.  I know that isn't helpful - more like "it is what it is".  Sorry. I've adapted that attitude about the whole thing.  Hang in there and it really is OK to step away from the situation for a minute or two to breathe/cry/release negative energy somehow.

JLW0504

I"m in the same boat you're in. DH and I have dates few and far between, but our schedule also plays into that. When we do go out on dates, we usually leave when Ellie is down for a nap or down for the night. That way she doesn't see us leave. When she's older, she'll understand why we leave but that we're coming back. She hasn't quite figured out object permanence yet.

When we go anywhere, like family parties, work functions, etc. I just hold Ellie. I hold her facing out so that she gets interaction with others, or we play on the floor (if permissable). I try to keep the setting as calm as I can (which can be hard with DH's family). Everyone's in her face and whatnot wanting to hold her and play with her. I let her get comfortable with one or two people and then she'll let them hold her. It takes awhile, but it'll happen.

 

have you tried making a picture book with everyone close to you in it? Let your LO look at their pictures and learn who they are and begin to recognize them.

LittleBabyG2013

Right there with you..
Rebecca screams when others hold her and as soon as I take her back she stops and then smiles. She never use to do this. She is pretty good with hubby but sometimes wants mommy even when he has her. I haven't left her alone since this has started.. I am scared too, it makes me sad thinking about her crying the whole time I am gone.
I am hoping its something she grows out of soon. My friend keeps saying that Rebecca has seperation anxiety
I don't think so.. I think she's just being a baby.

mancila60

I'm also a FTM and sort of have this problem. LO does pretty good at home and during the day at work with me or if we go to someone's house. I have only left LO with my mom because he doesn't do well staying with other people. However when we take him in public and by that I mean anywhere to eat, dr office, grocery store, anywhere basically he gets fussy and screams. It is horrible and I know people should expect that with a baby and that if we never go anywhere he won't adjust to it. However when he acts that way in public I get horribly embarrased and start to get anxiety and H and I fight because it stresses me out.

We have learned which restaurants we can and can't go. I'm hoping it gets better and all I can say is hang in there. You are not alone that's for sure.