hold up! @mangomama82

CousinVicki

did you say you have a YEAR restraining order against your husband ............or is my ativan just really kicking in?  

what happened here!?

CousinVicki

and i see you lurkers!

pandaglitter

I'd like to point out she said she didn't post about it because of that, so probably legal reasons, and so a PM would probably be better for this.

CousinVicki

pandaglitter said:

I'd like to point out she said she didn't post about it because of that, so probably legal reasons, and so a PM would probably be better for this.

thanks!  

CousinVicki

quartermisses said:

Whhhat did I miss?

she said she left her husband, has a lawyer, and a one year restraining order. she dropped this bomb nonchalantly in the post about not having more kids! 

MangoMama82

Yeah it's true! I semi thread jacked because it was relevant and I didn't want to call attention to myself by doing a dear diary. The legal implications are unclear, and he could probably figure out my SN that way. I'd like to be able to post on here without his knowing who I am. Anyway, @cousinvicki, I'm feeding the baby right now so I'm mobile. I can PM you from my laptop when I'm done

pandaglitter

MangoMama82 said:

Yeah it's true! I semi thread jacked because it was relevant and I didn't want to call attention to myself by doing a dear diary. The legal implications are unclear, and he could probably figure out my SN that way. I'd like to be able to post on here without his knowing who I am. Anyway, @cousinvicki, I'm feeding the baby right now so I'm mobile. I can PM you from my laptop when I'm done

If you're bored and stuff you're welcome to message me too if you want maybe ;p

pandaglitter

CousinVicki said:

pandaglitter said:

I'd like to point out she said she didn't post about it because of that, so probably legal reasons, and so a PM would probably be better for this.

thanks!  

It's one of my guilty pleasures

Jalee85

@mangomama82 With all the new AEs popping up you could totes make an AE and get away with it. On a side note I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. From the little bit I could gather it sounds like a shitty situation.

MangoMama82

making an AE would make me sad panda. I've had this SN for a year! 

Jalee85

Snowboarderbritt said:

MangoMama82 said:

making an AE would make me sad panda. I've had this SN for a year! 

But you could just do an AE to vent or tell the story, then keep using your normal sn for everything else! So sorry you are going through this!

Yep this is what I meant. Obviously only if you wanted to though.

MangoMama82

thanks all! I think I feel uncomfortable telling the whole entire story on a public forum. Even with an AE it wouldn't be hard for him to figure it out, especially after this thread

I appreciate your support, though! I guess I just wanted to get it out in whatever form I could in that one thread. It's my new reality! 

@cousinvicki YGPM, and also, Ativan?? Cause I have some from pre-pregnancy and I would swim in it right now if I could. Is that safe while BFing?? Do tell. 

Ycu2013

Hugs @MangoMama82

You sound like a very strong woman who will do just fine. So sorry you have to be going through this though.

jennlin

If you want to c&p that PM to cv, I'd love a copy!

Hope you are doing okay, and you know if you need anything that internet strangers can provide, the wolf pack is here for you!

PixiesDust

So sorry, OP. Sounds like a shitty situation.

Don't mean to hijack but I'm trying to convince my SIL to get a restraining order against her ex bf because he is extremely verbally abusive. However, they have a 10 month old together and she's not sure if it would even be possible since he does have some limited, non-court issued custody with him and would therefore need to contact her regarding his care and arrangements. If you or anyone has advice on how this might work, please let me know.

MangoMama82

PixiesDust said:

So sorry, OP. Sounds like a shitty situation.

Don't mean to hijack but I'm trying to convince my SIL to get a restraining order against her ex bf because he is extremely verbally abusive. However, they have a 10 month old together and she's not sure if it would even be possible since he does have some limited, non-court issued custody with him and would therefore need to contact her regarding his care and arrangements. If you or anyone has advice on how this might work, please let me know.

Not to be captain obvious here. But she should get a lawyer. My order was issued because of dramatic events, and we both had to appear in court. From what I understand a year extension like we got is rare. I'm learning a lot about how difficult custody battles can be from my lawyer. It's not cheap to get representation, but it's my kid's future at steak, so it's worth every penny.

amber0529

PixiesDust said:

So sorry, OP. Sounds like a shitty situation.

Don't mean to hijack but I'm trying to convince my SIL to get a restraining order against her ex bf because he is uptremely verbally abusive. However, they have a 10 month old together and she's not sure if it would even be possible since he does have some limited, non-court issued custody with him and would therefore need to contact her regarding his care and arrangements. If you or anyone has advice on how this might work, please let me know.

@pixiesdust
Usually when it comes to custody arrangements they have to go through a family member or mutual friend. For instance if her mom lived close she could drop the baby off with her & then he would pick the baby up from her mom. I believe you can also get social workers to do this if you don't have anyone else that wants to do it. All communications would also go through that person.

megs1409

Sorry you're going throug this, OP. You are an amazingly strong woman for making what was I'm sure a difficult decision. Stay strong and good luck!

PixiesDust

@mangomama82 @amber0529

Thanks, ladies.  Again, sorry mango for hijacking your thread.  I've been toying with asking the question for awhile.  She does have a lawyer and full custody, but she's a nice person (too nice IMO) and continues to allow him time with their son so long as it's supervised by his parents.  (even though he has a drug problem, is a pathological liar, and pretty much incapable if left unassisted of being a good father).  He constantly sends her threatening or nasty texts and voice mails but she's afraid of the drama.  Anyway.  Thanks for your advice. 

deedee1017

@cousinvicki  given that she's nervous that her husband might find out whatever, maybe you should change the title?  Is that possible?

deedee1017

@mangomama82 I'm sorry you're going through this.  Don't feel pressured to share anything more than you want to.  Just know that you have a big group of supportive women and if you want/need us we're here.  Hugs to you and LO.

Lee81

I don't really have anything to add besides another I'm sorry you are going through this but good for you for being strong enough to leave. Good luck with everything.

MangoMama82

Thanks you guys. It really does mean a lot! @ellestaxx my dad practices family law, so he's been a huge help with the whole process. He's licensed in a different state, but helpful still. @pixiesdust your friend needs to assert herself for the sake of her child. Maybe the drug use and threatening texts would be grounds for a protective order? If her lawyer is allowing this to happen she should get a new one.

Jenball717

Lee81 said:

I don't really have anything to add besides another I'm sorry you are going through this but good for you for being strong enough to leave. Good luck with everything.

This. I imagine this kind of decision would be incredibly difficult. Good luck to you!

MrsStuessyWI

PixiesDust said:

@mangomama82 @amber0529

Thanks, ladies.  Again, sorry mango for hijacking your thread.  I've been toying with asking the question for awhile.  She does have a lawyer and full custody, but she's a nice person (too nice IMO) and continues to allow him time with their son so long as it's supervised by his parents.  (even though he has a drug problem, is a pathological liar, and pretty much incapable if left unassisted of being a good father).  He constantly sends her threatening or nasty texts and voice mails but she's afraid of the drama.  Anyway.  Thanks for your advice. 

SUPERVISED VISITATION! Tell her to get on it. I had  9 month internship where I supervised visits. He sounds just like all the parents I supervised. Kid gets time with the parent, but safely and she doesn't need to see or even communicate with him directly. 

MangoMama82